NASCAR, Fat Women & Michael Hutchence
//sports.fat.nascar.tourettes.052404.dooshbag
  • written by Sports Staff Editor Tourettes
NASCAR is not a sport, you white trash piece of shit. It’s nothing more than a bunch of glorified hillbillies driving around in a circle, all thinking that they’re Tom Cruise from Days of Thunder. A sport is defined as, by dictionary.com:

sport: Physical activity that is governed by a set of rules or customs and often engaged in competitively.

Now, while one could argue that there is physical activity in driving a car around a circle, I say that this definition is too vague. Using that definition, I could define fucking a 300 lb. bitch, like your mother, as a sport. Here’s my reasoning:

Physical Activity: sticking it to that tub of shit

Set of Rules: Everything goes, except anal sex

Competition: Wing eating contest right after sex.

Now, as you can see, tons of fun would win in a landslide. The only way I could win would be to cheat by sticking it in her ass, and knocking the bitch out with a frying pan before we got to the wings. In any case, there wouldn’t be many sponsors for fat fucking.

Back to NASCAR, it’s more of a quasi-sport. Sure it’s competitive, but it doesn’t quite fit the definition. There’s no way you could argue that driving a stock car is as much of a sport as say, basketball, football, or baseball is, where individual or team physical performance determines the outcome of the competition. Witch racing a car, you’re dependant on the performance of the car. Besides, watching NASCAR is boring, I’d much rather go to my room and perform auto-erotic asphyxiation (go to google.com and type in “Michael Hutchence”) than to watch those inbred bastards race on a track.


Dooshbag.org is for entertainment purposes only and should not be viewed in a serious manner by anyone; in fact, even admitted dooshbags avoid taking this site seriously. If anyone is offended by this material, they are clearly an idiot and should consider starting their own website. Perhaps www.idiot.org is still available. Questions, concerns, hints and allegations may all be sent to mail@dooshbag.org for review and deletion. If any good ideas improbably develop on this site, they are the sole property of Dooshbag.org. Feel free to steal our crappy ideas, though. Those are free to all.