Thumbs Up!: The New Middle Finger
//society.cheesy.smile.20piece.052104.dooshbag
  • written by Reviews Editor 20Piece
Oh middle finger, how I love thee. At age seven, I gave you to a traffic cop…who promptly pulled my mother over. At age 12, I introduced you to a basketball referee…who then threw me out of the game. 15 years and thousands of altercations later, I feel it is time to set you free. You see, you’re losing it. You just don’t have the meaning you did 10 years ago. I need something that says more than “F-YOU”…something that grabs you by the balls, pokes you in the eye with a stick and slaps your mom on the ass. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the Thumbs-Up.

If necessity is the mother of invention, then spite is its retarded cousin that nobody talks about. The Thumbs-Up comes straight out of spite and is simple, yet surprisingly effective. It’s a curveball for when the asshole is looking fastball.

Here’s how I employ the Thumbs-Up:

Step 1 – Make a fist.

Step 2 – Extend your thumb straight up.

Step 3 – Give your intended target a nice, big, cheesy smile. < VERY IMPORTANT

Step 4 – Throw out a sarcastic comment. (level of sarcasm depends on reason for Thumbs-Up)

Ex. “Hey, man…that was awesome how you cut me off and made me spill my coffee. Thumbs-Up for you, cocksucker.”

A recent Dooshbag.org study indicated that the Thumbs-Up, combined with a touch of sarcasm, irritated the average asshole nearly 189% more than the conventional middle finger. A percentage increase of this magnitude pushes irritation to a level that will ruin the target’s day. Thus, the increased irritation results in increased satisfaction on the part of the person giving the thumbs-up. You win…Thumbs-Up for you, Dooshbag.


Dooshbag.org is for entertainment purposes only and should not be viewed in a serious manner by anyone; in fact, even admitted dooshbags avoid taking this site seriously. If anyone is offended by this material, they are clearly an idiot and should consider starting their own website. Perhaps www.idiot.org is still available. Questions, concerns, hints and allegations may all be sent to mail@dooshbag.org for review and deletion. If any good ideas improbably develop on this site, they are the sole property of Dooshbag.org. Feel free to steal our crappy ideas, though. Those are free to all.