| The Bottom Feeder | ||||||||||
| //society.sumabitch.pool.trickle.061704.dooshbag | ||||||||||
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| Have you ever been out and seen one guy with a group of four or five girls? It pisses you off doesn’t it, especially if you’re single and that guy is flaunting five of them in your face. You envy him.
However, how does it make you feel when you see that dude kissing and holding hands with the ugliest girl in the group? Exactly! You laugh. As opposed to being the epitome of masculine coolness, the guy becomes a piece-of-shit faker. A loser. He is someone who is trying to make himself look cooler by dating the pig of the group just so he can get close to her hotter friends. He’s the bottom feeder. I was just out with a girl that had friends who were all incredibly hot. She wasn’t. In fact, she was hands down the ugliest in the group. This, of course, reflects VERY poorly on me. *I* had become a bottom feeder. This is not an envious position. None of her friends are going to fall in love with you. Hell, they won’t even like you very much. You will not get to oil them up at the beach. You will not get to play around in bed with all five of them. You will not get to paw them when they pass out drunk in your car. Nope. All being a bottom feeder earns you is a one-way ticket to embarrassment. Other guys will look at you and laugh. They’ll say, “Look at this stupid sumabitch. He’s buying these girls drinks and driving them around and basically being our wingman.” The bottom feeder just makes it easier for other guys to get hot girls because he occupies the ugly and inevitably most obnoxious one in that group. If you’re thinking that you’re such a hot and/or nice guy that one of her friends is bound to like you then think again, idiot. They won’t. Going out with the ugly girl immediately degrades you to them. They look at you and say, “Oh, isn’t he cute for dating her? They are so cute together.” No, you are not cute together. You and the ugly girl are a mismatch that would make the devil laugh. Her friends immediately assume something is wrong with YOU for being with HER. Stop kidding yourself dooshbag. Stay away from the bottom of the pool. |
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