| Feeding Sopranos to My Dog | ||||||||
| //reviews.irish.emoticons.trickle.051504.dooshbag | ||||||||
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| You’d think that swords and British accents would be enough to transport the average movie-going Dooshbag into a land of fantasy. No, apparently you need motherfucking Enya. It’s not enough anymore to have a subtitle tell you the year. No. Now you need this Irish slunt, or some copycat slunt who sounds just like her, singing a bunch of random gibberish in a disturbingly high pitch to legitimize something as simple as a sword. Go watch Troy. This slunt ruins it so don’t say I didn’t warn you. I can’t believe this bitch has created a market for this kind of garbage and bands that wreck shit beyond imagine can’t even get a record deal.
I’ve always hated Sopranos. They are the most useless part of any vocal ensemblejust a bunch of no-talent bitches who belt out notes. Not words: just notes. They max their vocal range out about an octave or two below the point where sound is imperceptible to a human ear. Maybe dogs can understand what these bitches are singing. I can’t. And if I were a dog and some bitch-ass soprano was howling at me I’d be more likely to tear out her vocal chords. The crime here is that directors feel that if you’ve got swords in a movie and you need to invoke ANY OTHER emotion besides the ensuing feelings from a bad ass fight scene, then you HAVE to overdub this stupid Irish bitch singing nonsense words. Are they trying to breed some Pavlovian response in us? The only thing I feel when I hear this inane bullshit is the overwhelming urge to vomit. It’s the same kind of ridiculousness that says if I’m going to make a sarcastic statement I have to follow it with ; ) otherwise people will think I’m “mean.” Fuck your emoticons and your Irish sopranos. |
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