Flaw? I Found Plenty of 'Em
//reviews.fat.guitarist.20piece.051504.dooshbag
  • written by Reviews Staff Editor 20Piece
"Hi everybody, we're Flaw. We had a moderately successful debut album 3 years ago (Through The Eyes) with about 4 good songs on it. Well, we're back. This album has one half-way decent song on it with parts of an OK song sprinkled throughout the rest of this new CD. Thanks for your $13.99, SUCKAS!"

That's what should be printed on the back of Flaw's new album, Endangered Species. At least they got the album title right. They know their days are numbered. I mean, even they can't think this crap is good and with an offering like this, they deserved to be clubbed like a baby seal. Hey Flaw singer guy, your voice isn't so amazing that you have to drag every note out 3 times longer than you need to. Hey bass player guy, um, I guess you're aight. I mean you play bass - kinda hard to F that up. Drummer, nothing bad to say about you. Well, well, well, looks like it's just you and me Mr. Guitarist Guy. Yeah, you - the FAT ONE. First of all, you're in a band - you can't be fat. We all know that. STRIKE ONE. Make that STRIKE TWO as well, cuz you're still FAT and that ain't cool. Now for your riffs. They are boring. They make me sleepy, like a cat that just ate a whole box of Hot Pockets. That's STRIKE THREE. BEAT IT, TUBBY.

If I remember correctly, Flaw had TWO guitarists back in the day. You know, the day when Flaw didn't suck. The other guitarist got kicked out for punching singer guy in the face. Can you blame him? Poor ex-guitarist guy - he couldn't take singer guy's over-dramatic voice and having to watch fat guitarist guy eat everything on the tour bus. Since that fateful day, Flaw has sucked. They found the Nu-Metal handbook and haven't deviated from it since. Endangered Species is the type of album that pisses people off when they think of newer bands these days'formulaic, monotonous songs fronted by a tool lead-singer who thinks he's way more influential than he really is. Your album is like a lingering fart - not bad enough to make me leave the room, but slowly pissing me off. Just go away.

This album earns one middle finger held high and proud. I tried to wipe my ass with the CD, but I suggest you use it as a coaster instead.


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