| Estrogen in Iraq | ||||||||||
| //lies.chemicals.clowns.scant.061004.dooshbag | ||||||||||
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| After more than a year of searching for weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, the U.S. Army announced today they indeed found traces of the chemical agent estrogen which sources claim the Iraqis were planning to use in a chemical attack on the United States.
Discovered by U.S. military at an Iraqi militia camp, the estrogen was stored in stainless steel containers, and at first researchers were baffled as to what the chemical agent was. But once they tested it on innocent animals, the animals began complaining constantly, spent a ridiculous amount of money and were unable to make up their mind. Researchers at that point concluded that the chemical must be estrogen. Some soldiers involved in the discovery at the camp reported feeling ill after the discovery. They mentioned minor cramping and getting a bit emotional over a Hallmark commercial but military physicians said they felt much better after an afternoon of shopping and getting their hair done. U.N. weapons inspector Terry Traylor said it is likely Iraq obtained the chemical by draining it from their civilian women. “Then they cocooned them up in those black robes,” said Taylor, in reference to what is known as a berka. Traylor said he suspects they do this “hide” what they have done in an act of shame. “It’s just like that 80s movie, Killer Clowns from Outerspace. The clowns put their victims in a cotton candy cocoon after they drained them,” said Taylor. The military reported that they have no significant leads as to what type of attack of the Iraqis were planning, but Traylor said he’s thankful that they discovered the chemical before a possible estrogen bomb went off in the U.S. “There would have been a lot of bitching and whining that day,” said Traylor. |
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