| Women and Entertainment News | |||||||||
| //brauds.juicy.hepatitis.scant.051604.dooshbag | |||||||||
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| I hate entertainment news “Entertainment Tonight,” “Access Hollywood,” or anything they run on god damn “E! television.”
What amazes me though, is how women love it. They crave it. To me, it’s the most mindless dribble on the fucking planet. Who needs to devote 20 minutes to J-Lo’s pink ring or Brad Pitt’s new locks? I’d rather sit and watch pre-mature babies being hurled off of a cliff or malnourished kittens being kicked in front of on-coming traffic than sit through a half-hour program of entertainment news that goes absolutely nowhere. There is not one ounce of useful information in that 30-minute dipshit fest. I’ll bet you Pontious Pilot would feel more comfortable at the premier of “The Passion of the Christ” than I do sitting on the couch watching two failed journalists exchange witty banter about that slunt Jennifer Anniston’s new highlights. The worse part about these shows is they get a bit of “juicy” news, which is always something like Britney Spears hanging out in public or Ben Afflec drinking a cup of coffee at Starbucks, and they tease the shit out of it for 28 minutes. They show you a fucking mini-trailer for each little segment and nothing ever happens. Who fucking does this to someone? This is like blue-balling me through the TV. If you show Pamela Anderson waiting to pick her kids up from school you better soon cut to her spraying Hepatitis-C out of her wrists and soaking down the school kids like a deranged Spiderman. If you don’t have that tape then I don’t fucking care. I am smart enough to imagine that if she has kids, at some point in time (when she’s not bent over an amp after a rock show) she’s picking her kids up. How women can sit there without blinking an eye during this shit is unbelievable to me. The only reason why I think they like it is because they just love fucking gossip. Anything they’re not supposed to know they want to know. It’s the forbidden fruit, just like that hot first cousin of yours. The other day I caught one of these episodes (not by my choosing) and their big topic of the night was what was in the fucking “goodie bags” that the attendees of the Academy Awards received. Are you fucking kidding me? I’d rather have an anvil dropped on my goodie bag than watch this mindless horse shit. F-you! |
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