The Black Jack Index
//blackjack.questionaire.d-bag.052104.dooshbag
  • compiled by Editor-in-Chief D-Bag
So, you think you have what it takes to score well under the Black Jack Index? Well, here's your chance to prove it. By sending us a picture or two and filling out the short questionaire below, you can receive an official BJI rating from Dooshbag.org! Utilizing the picture and your answers, we will score you using the Black Jack Index, a unique system utilizing seven different categories to determine your value. So, get your best picture and get cracking on these questions and shoot 'em on over to mail@dooshbag.org. We will review your information and post the results within a few days. Good luck!

Generic Questions - So we can get a feel for ya. 

1. What is your name?

2. How old is you?

3. Where you call home?

4. What is your educational backround? i.e., you think you're smarter than us?!

5. What is your favorite movie? And none of that "oh, so many favorites - I can't possible decide". Pick one, you indecisive slunt.

6. How about you tell us about your favorite book... wait. Don't bother. We don't care.

____

Relationships - Please answer as honestly as a woman can:

7. Are you currently in a relationship and if so - how long has it managed to stay intact?

8. How did your last relationship end? Was it your fault? It probably was. Just admit it.

9. Do you usually remain in contact with Exs after the relationship has ended?

10. Have you ever let someone down with the "...but you're such a good friend"?

11. Do you currently possess any children or small animals? If so, we require age, sex and species of each.

____

What Ifs - A grouping of "What If" style questions. So, use your imagination and have a little fun with it.

12. What if... Brad Pitt somehow stumbles across you at the mall while you're shopping for a new Louie Batton bag. He says he really wants to sleep with you, but his wife, Jennifer Aniston, would never allow it... unless, you slept with her first! What say you?

13. What if... Donald Trump decides to toy with your life.. simply because he can. He says that he will use his vast fortune to cure hunger across the globe... but only if you'd let him watch as you performed various sex acts with the Philly Fanatic.

14. What if... you're on the Empire State Building site-seeing when some hero tosses Julia Roberts, Oprah Winfrey and Martha Stewart off the building. You run to the edge and have just enough time to save one of them.. who is it and why?

15. What if... you see a horrendous murder and the FBI offers to put you into it's new upgraded witness protection program. You'll receive a mansion anywhere in the continental United States and have an annual salary of $1 million dollars... dependant on you never seeing or communicating with your current family and friends ever again. What do you think?

____

Multiple Choice - Remember the CAT tests? Nope, neither do we.

16. Which show is worse?

____a) My Wife and Kids b) Everybody Loves Raymond c) 8 Simple Rules

17. Who would win in a fight?

____a) Christopher Reeve b) Stephen Hawkins c) A Furbie

18. Who would you rather date?

____a) O.J. Simpson b) Charlie Manson c) John Kerry

____

Opinion - Other than when we're trying to sleep with you, this will be the only other time we actually listen to your opinion.. so make it count!

19. Do you think that each person has a Soul Mate? One person that is just perfect in every single way for them?

19. Who should we invade next and why: Iran, North Korea or France?

20. Transformers or GI Joe - which is the superior franchise and why?

21. How attractive do you find dooshbags who write for humor websites?

____

That's it! As a general rule, we'd appreciate it if you answered every question.. but reading is tough, so we understand if you skip a few. Just remember to include a picture or two [try to keep the file size down] and zap it all along to mail@dooshbag.org. While we won't disclose all information, please be aware that your answers and pictures may be published on the site, but will only appear in the Black Jack Index area and will not be used for any other purposes. Good luck!


Dooshbag.org is for entertainment purposes only and should not be viewed in a serious manner by anyone; in fact, even admitted dooshbags avoid taking this site seriously. If anyone is offended by this material, they are clearly an idiot and should consider starting their own website. Perhaps www.idiot.org is still available. Questions, concerns, hints and allegations may all be sent to mail@dooshbag.org for review and deletion. If any good ideas improbably develop on this site, they are the sole property of Dooshbag.org. Feel free to steal our crappy ideas, though. Those are free to all.