Welcome to Pink Elephants.com!
Connie got her hands on some fucked up shit!!!Welcome to my newest site, Pink elephants.com! If you're looking for Thorazine, Ritalin, Prozac or other mood altering psychiatric drugs, YOU'RE IN THE WRONG FUCKING PLACE!!!!! THE LOONY BIN IS RIGHT UP THE STREET FUCKHEAD... ahem.
What goes up here? Basically anything I want to put up here: things of interest to me, things that I find silly, absurd, unjust or even insane.
Pink elephants baby....
The Ezboard post of mine that inspired this page:
Good bye for now....
Hey all, Connie here...
Didn't want to just up and disappear with no explanation. Many of you know me as the happy go lucky, give em hell type who doesn't have a care in the world. Well I'll be the first to tell you its bullsh!t.
The month of January has just been layer upon layer of bullsh!t, each layer so thick you could cut it with a chain saw. As if all this weren't enough, yesterday I opened the paper and I saw a good friend in the obituary. Sean, if you're reading this from somewhere, I hope you have lots of pretty girls fanning you with palm leaves and feeding you grapes, and I hope they all look like Mean Old Mary Jane...
Many times words fail me and all I can do is stare dejectedly into space looking for a happiness that could be there, should be there, but isn't. Anymore, the best time to be had is spent in my room alone listening to music. A lot of times I feel as though I am coming apart, financially, mentally and physically. As of late my life is becoming a huge strain and I just don't know how much more of this I can take.
You've all been good friends and we've had fun together but now its time for me to succumb to the pink elephants that are beating down the door of my consciousness, not that there'll be any Thorazine to save me from these pastel pink pachyderms. If any of you give a sh*t or even a rats ass you know where I'll be; any attempts to check up on me would be appreciated.
Signing off for now,
Conster
Pink elephants abound
A good friend said:
my heart goes out to you, Connie----
times like this can be a true ordeal, and it's a testament to one's mettle when we can pull ourselves through it.i also lost a friend this week (overdose----and the creep who supplied it to him tried to push some off on me last night, knowing full well i don't do that crap anymore---the jerk).but i know that my friend is in a better place than where was at here in this existence---wherever he may be.i don't believe that there is a "purpose" for everything, or in "destiny"---i believe we choose our individual paths---and sometimes the roads we walk hurt those to whom we care about.---still...to be strong in the face of sheer despondancy is to be admired, and yes, very difficult---and sometimes we need a little support from others to do so.
you have friends that care about you Connie---we are here if you need us.
Pink elephants abound
So I replied:
Thanks.
I guess it was stupid of me to drop out of the board like this. I was just feeling very overwhelmed... there was also a situation arising at work that was really bothering the hell out of me. At least I've been cleared of any wrongdoing, and am working with the others on solving it.
I tell you things have a way of just springing up, yesterday we found Blackie our guinea pig dead. I should have been crying my eyes out but I didn't even feel anything... its like OK this has already been a chain of cluster fu**s what's one more... I just put him in a cracker box and put him out with the hamster until spring thaw.
I tell you what -- Pink elephants aren't bad company....
So please enjoy your pink elephants. They are the minds defense against the fucking bullshit loads of stress. They're not BAD creatures, just misunderstood. No, I won't drop acid. These fuckin things visit me when I'm sober. :)
In a few weeks I plan to add to the site, such as things I do to relieve stress so please stay tuned. Thorazine is out, comforting pink elephants are in! -Conster
January 26, 2003 -- The other day I was in the laundromat listening to my new Godzilla Vs. Mechagodzilla album and for some reason began to think about how cool it would be to have the whole thing played at my funeral. Heheh.
I do think about death sometimes. I don't think I'm morbid or unhealthily obsessed. It's a reality, one that absolutely must be accepted and faced. I can take care of my body, exercise every day, eat all the right foods, take vitamins, drink water, wear my seat belt, and do all the right things, yet I cannot evade the fact that one day, I will die. I should write a will but I don't have much of anything to leave anyone, just my piece of shit car, some furniture, a shitload of personal belongings, some clothes, and a gaggle of felines.
Because I am writing about my death on this page, am I in the planning stages to kill myself? Absolutely not. Life is a gift, every day is a gift and yet I know like everything else this too shall pass. Should I never, ever think about it? Should I ignore it because its an unpleasant reality? Or am I "morbidly obsessed" because I choose not to ignore it? That's bullshit and in my opinion, a fucking farce. I'm going to die and you're going to die and fuck you if you don't like it. :) LOL What happens after death? Who knows? Maybe there is a heaven and a hell, if so I'm in big trouble because I know I'm in no condition to merit heaven. Maybe we simply ceast to exist. I guess we'll all find out when we get there.
Feb 2, 2003 -- Yesterday we spent a Day at the Mall and what a hellish day it was -- squalling kids yelling "Buy me this, buy me this buy me that!" WAY too many fuckin people. See through elevators that made my eyes roll up into my head whenever I used them. (Yeah, my friend in a wheelchair was in me, so fuck whoever says "why didn't you just use the escalator!")
Funny I used to enjoy hanging out and window shopping at malls, now they just make me cranky as hell. A lot of the shit is overpriced. To top it off, we saw a movie: Darkness falls Aka Attack of the Killer Tooth Fairy with PMS -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Now here's a lump of crap that made Deanzilla look respectable, believable and above all (horrors) enjoyable. Darkness Falls is about a murderous spectre (actually the ghost of a horribly burned woman who was murdered by the town when two boys didn't come home) who stalks the children of Darkness Falls (a place) after they lose their last tooth.
After 6 hours of fighting crowds, squalling brats, enduring the freak show and muttering "I hate your fucking kids so get them away!!" under my breath, this was sadly the highlight of a Day at the Mall... the same one Robert Congel wants to make even MORE unwieldy than it is now. (DestiNY USA sucks a big fat greasy one but I digress)
The story begins with a boy of 12 or 13 who sees his mother murdered and is on antidepressants 12 years later, fast forward to 12 years later where his girlfriends' kid is in a mental hospital suffering from his encounters with the same spectre, whose murders are blamed on the main character until the thing shows up and blasts the police force to pieces. From then on, the plot just gets more and more lame. The guy kills the monster by... get this... punching her in the head with a fist that's on fire. (Ow that hurt -- you knob)
I had the unfortunate experience of staying awake during the feature. Wish I could have fallen asleep during it!
The premise was soooooooooooooo stupid. Basically it was an ugly, nasty, attitudinal version of the tooth fairy on steroids and with a bad case of PMS. Your $6 would be better spent on dental floss for the dog.
I really enjoy the quiet simple life in the country. Forget the thronging crowds that pack the cities and the malls-- the teenagers with pink and green hair and pierced noses and navels and nipples and god knows what else (the future leaders of our country... ha) I like my privacy.
Well I suppose I had to say something about this sooner or later. I didn't hear about the Columbia until later on in the day when we finally got home. It's tragic and the astronauts deaths were a great loss. But -- they knew the risks and were willing to take them. If you're going to die you might as well die doing what you love. I choose to honor these brave souls by soberly respecting their courage and their choice to explore the deep reaches of space, and to eventually give up their lives for this end. I can't display an outward grief that rightfully belongs to their families and loved ones -- that would be too pretentious. All I can do is honor them as the fallen heroes they are, and hope that wherever they are now, they are busily exploring the cosmos with no need of ships or equipment...
Feb. 09, 2003-- It was three weeks ago I put Iraq up for auction on Ebay. The auction read: For sale: One Middle Eastern country called Iraq. I don't truly own it but that doesn't matter. The winner of this auction gets the dubious privilege of walking up to Saddam and telling him his tenure's been revoked. Low starting bid, no reserve. Payment by check, credit card, money order or in spades. If paying in cash please make sure its all used notes. LOL
Payment Instructions DOn't really expect payment for this item -- but thanks anyways :)
Now, I had been expecting Ebay to yank this auction at the very outset -- I expected it to last a day or two at the most. However, there was a week on the auction, and I really wanted to see if there was really anyone dumb enough to bid on it, so I waited. Six days later, I had $99,999,999.99 bid on it -- outrageous. And still, the auction was up.
Then I get an email from a guy named Bob saying "Ebay's gonna try to collect THEIR cut, you know..."
FUCK THAT!!!! I went in and pulled the bids myself, telling my bidders "Thanks for bidding, its been fun but I have to auction off Air Force One now..."
Three weeks after the face, I get a notice from Ebay saying the auction has been pulled -- three weeks after the fact. What a steaming pile of dog dung! They pride themselves on yanking stuff like that a day or so after its been up -- but just to let you and the world know, it's bull. It took them three weeks to discover and yank my $99 billion dollar auction -- certainly overpriced for a country with a leader with a dead rat under his nose...
(Now what's really gonna be funny is if I flip on the TV and its all over the news... heh heh heh)
February 17 2003 -- I should update this more often but I'm just fucking lazy...
I have been faced with an impossible decision -- whether or not to marry my live in companion, boyfriend, love of my life, fuck partner, whatever you wanna call him -- Scott. We've been living together for almost three years. This would be my second marriage; his third.
I do want to marry him, very much -- but having been through one marriage that ended in disaster, I'm sort of reluctant to take another trip down the altar. I just don't know if I'm the type that can hold a marriage together. Generally speaking, Scott is a very sweet person with a heart of gold -- but he too has his moments and some of them are downright scary. That and its frightening to contemplate committing to spend the rest of your life with another person -- especially considering my own lousy track record with men.
Perhaps I have gone crackers to even consider it-- but nothing can be left out of the question. Still -- isn't marriage a big step? isn't marriage some serious shit?! I love him but I just don't know what to do -- help! 8-|
Me and the major source of my pink elephant episodes....
Feb 21, 2003 == You may have heard of the Atkins diet -- that low carb high protein diet that you're supposed to be able to lose a bunch of weight on -- well ol Conster decided to try it...
The basic premise is that consuming protein, fats and oils while cutting out refined sugar and carbohydrate will switch your body into a fat burning mechanism. I bought a package of Ketostix to measure the acetone output of my urine, while drinking lots of water and taking vitamins. I am now in deep ketosis and have lost at LEAST five pounds...
AND I HAVE THE RUNNIEST MOST EXPLOSIVE SHITS EVER!!! That's right folks -- you'll lose most of the weight right out of your ASS!!!! I originally began this as a science experiment, more out of curiosity than anything else... and I do feel better than normal but really, who wants to get up to shit at 4:30 in the morning?! I wish I had that old man in front of me because I'd really like to slap him...
March 14, 2003 -- Winter lingers on and on despite my most vehement protestations and demands for spring. This is getting ridiculous! How much more of this do we have to take, anyway? This is worse than stupid -- its criminal!! Having to buy kerosene all the time is keeping us pretty well broke.
As if to add insult to injury, my friend Mark is vacationing in sunny Florida, enjoying the 80 degree weather. DAMN HIM!!! When I catch up to him I'll hogtie him myself and stick a pig poker up his lucky ass. hehe! I can't take much more of this cold. Every time I turn around, it snows. Also every time I turn around, the price of gasoline and kerosene creeps up another penny. Guess I'd better stop turning around and stand perfectly still. ;)
EBAY RAGE -- A bidder's true story!
I saw a Donkey Kong CD soundtrack for, oh, say, 2.95. So I bid on it. I like to collect things like that and besides it was cheap. I get on toward the end of the auction -- some fucker had outbid me!!! and drove up the price!!! I threw up my hands. "This is ridiculous! Let him have it -- I'm not paying that much!" I wailed to the person next to me.
My eyes narrowed to deadly triangular slits as a different sort of rage bubbled within me. NO ONE STEALS ANYTHING FROM ME!!! With only three minutes left on the auction, I did the unthinkable -- I bid fifty bucks... and won the CD for under thirty bucks. (Had to resist the urge to email the other hapless fucker and gloat HA HA!!! I OUTBID YOU YOU JACKASS!!!! But then he who dies with the most toys, still dies.)
April 28, 2003 -- Sorry for the long delay in updating -- I've just been busy as hell. My job recently expanded to include more hours -- YAY!! :-D Anyway, I'm just hanging out and enjoying the warm weather. Such a welcome change from all the cold and snow we've been subjected to, and I'm even seeing some flowers growing around my tin can!
Rather than mope around the house and lament what i don't have, I'm going to focus on what I do have. I am receiving a rash of compliments on my changed appearance due to my diet. I'm down to 183 from almost being 200 pounds. :) Still part of the loser's club! :):):)
And I did a very, very bad thing (reference to the original Police Academy movie) I took one of the pictures off of my cousin's web page and added a cartoon balloon coming out of her husband's mouth. (Her hubby is a policeman.)
And I e-mailed it to my family along with a few close friends, one of whom is a cop. The friend who's a cop liked it so much she passed it along! :-X Oh no. Poor Paul's going to gain a fast earned reputation as the Krispy Kreme Donut man!!! And he's going to shoot me! And its all my fault!!!! WAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!! :-((Oh well, it was nice knowin ya. ;)