Captain Jack Bonney and His Motley Crew of Time Traveling Pirates

Why Pirates are so Cool

• They wear eye patches
• They have parrots
• Treasure. Yeah.
• Yarr!
• Pirates are above the law
• They sing pirate songs
• Cannons and cannon balls
• They'll make you walk the plank
• Pirates have no use for cars

A Pirate's Life

Just some good ol' fashion Monk riding going on here! Arrr!

Cap'n Jack and his Motley Crew of Time Traveling Pirates sharing a drink or two.

Let this be a lesson to ye landlubbers!

These Sealions thought they could try to outwit Captain Jack Bonney and his Motley Crew of Time Traveling Pirates!

3 formerly of Captain Jack Bonney's Motley Crew of Time Traveling Pirates, who were ruthlessly slaughtered at the hands of Wayne and the Sealions

Here be Bull Frog, Captain Jack's parrot.

Yarr! Here be Captain Jack Bonney's ship, Jenny (formerly the "Time Boat," until the crew saw Forrest Gump), about to take on 2 modern-day vessels!

Here be Captain Jack's First Mate, Rosco McQueen, Firefighter Extreme.

Captain Jack Bonney's Time Traveling Pirate Hoedown

We pirates sail the seven seas
Plunder and pillage to meet our needs
We board their ships and take their things
And this song is what a pirate sings

Pirates have no use for cars
We sail the seas and yell out 'Yarr!'
We pirates work out on the deck
Brothers in blood on this trek

Well treasure is a pirate's call
We take it with our cannon balls
We rape their women and raid their homes
The sea is where a pirate roams

Gangsta to Pirate Translation Key

Gangsta	Pirate
fo'ties	bottles o' rum
bling bling	booty
Yo!	Avast!
Homie	Matey
Bee-atch	Scurvey dog
Pop a cap in yo ass	Make you walk the plank
Word	Yarrrrrrrrr!
Beat down	Keel haul
Wack MC	Landlubber
Playah	Swashbuckler
Mack Daddy	Cap'n
Jacking	Plundering
Rap	Sea Shanties
The joint	The brig
Crew	Crew

Pirate Fun

A pirate walked into a bar and the bartender said, "Hey, I haven't seen you in a while. What happened, you look terrible!"

"What do you mean? I'm fine."

"What about that wooden leg? You didn't have that before."

"Well," said the pirate, "we were in a battle at sea and a cannon ball hit my leg but the doc fixed me up, and I'm fine, really."

"Oh yeah? Well what about that hook? The last time I saw you, you had both hands."

"We were in another battle and we boarded the enemy ship. I was in a sword fight and my hand was cut off but the doc fixed me up with the hook, and I feel great, really."

"Oh," said the bartender, "what about that eye patch? The last time you were in here you had both eyes."

"One day when we were at sea some birds were flying over the ship. I looked up and one of them crapped in my eye."

"You're kidding," said the bartender, "you couldn't have lost an eye just from some bird crap!"

"Well, I really wasn't used to the hook yet."

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