Quotes (Page 59)!

  1. "I'm about to dress Paul up like an alien and YouTube it and scream, 'Help me doctor! You're my only hope!'" ~Laura
  2. "You're always you, and that don't change, and you're always changing, and there's nothing you can do about it." ~Mother Slaughter
  3. "And I thought Bats was creepy." ~The Flash about Etrigan
  4. "If I ignore the work I have to do, maybe it'll go away. Or maybe fairies will come and do it all. The trick is to ignore it really hard." ~James Moran
  5. "I'll be fine. Just give me a minute. And some defibrillators, if it's not too much trouble." ~Wesley Wyndam-Pryce
  6. "I'm eating this banana, lunchtime be damned!" ~Willow Rosenberg
  7. "That's me - reliable dog-geyser person." ~Willow Rosenberg
  8. "Did you try looking inside the sofa in hell?" ~Willow Rosenberg
  9. "It's really nice that you guys missed me. Say, you all didn't happen to do a bunch of drugs, did ya?" ~Willow Rosenberg
  10. "Sometimes I think that ideas float through the atmosphere like huge squishy pumpkins, waiting for heads to drop on." ~Neil Gaiman
  11. "You can taste the symmetry!" ~Adrian Monk
  12. "Karma chips. Mmm. A big bowl of karma chips. With guacamole." ~Adrian Monk
  13. "Demons wanting money... Whatever happened to the still-beating heart of a virgin? No one has any standards anymore." ~Rupert Giles
  14. "[I've found] a six-course banquet of nothing with a scoop of sod-all as a palette cleanser." ~Rupert Giles
  15. "See? No standards. Any self-respecting demon should be living in a pit of filth or a nice crypt." ~Rupert Giles
  16. "Buffy, I, too, know the love of a taciturn man." ~Willow Summers
  17. "I love Giles so deeply at this point that any random factoid in any way remotely related to him is both fascinating and revealing to the character. 'Giles's favorite vegetable is rutabaga?? Anthony S. Head wears PANTS?! WHOA!'" ~Draca Darkwingette
  18. "You're a very complex man, aren't you?" ~Oz to Xander Harris
  19. "I didn't see you, so I should have known you were there." ~Buffy Summers to Angel
  20. "When I walked in a few minutes ago, you thought, 'Look at her shoes. If a fashion magazine told her to, she'd wear cats strapped to her feet.'" ~Buffy Summers to Rupert Giles
  21. "If you don't need me, I'm gonna follow the redhead." ~Oz
  22. "Who hasn't just idly thought about takin' out the place with a semi-automatic? [beat] I said 'idly.'" ~Xander Harris
  23. "I need a volunteer to hit Wesley." ~Xander Harris
  24. "Hey, did you get permission to eat the hostage?" ~Willow Rosenberg
  25. "You. All of you. Why couldn't you be dealing drugs like normal people?" ~Principal Snyder
  26. "We invented words; we'll tell you how they're supposed to sound." ~John Oliver
  27. "One of us is very confused, and I honestly don't know which." ~Xander Harris to Anya Jenkins
  28. "And I shall be wearing pink taffeta, as chenille will not go with my complexion." ~Rupert Giles' prom plans
  29. "For god's sake, man, she's 18, and you have the emotional maturity of a blueberry scone. Just...have at it, would you, and stop fluttering about." ~Rupert Giles to Wesley Wyndam-Pryce
  30. "Our lives are...different than other people's." ~Oz
  31. "Well, I'm sorry I give you barfy feelings." ~Xander Harris to Anya Jenkins
  32. "We don't knock during dark rituals?" ~Mayor Richard Wilkins
  33. "Here is your cup of coffee. Brewed from the finest Colombian lighter fluid." ~Xander Harris
  34. "Tea is soothing, and I wish to be tense." ~Rupert Giles
  35. "You're destroying a perfectly good cultural stereotype, here." ~Xander Harris to Rupert Giles
  36. "I'm going to go and attend to Wesley; see if he's...is still, um [suppressed laugh]...whimpering." ~Rupert Giles
  37. "Thanks for the Dadaist pep talk; I feel much more abstract, now." ~Buffy Summers
  38. "Seriously, I wasn't hitting on you." ~Angel to random guy in a bar
  39. "I'm not good at this...talking." ~Angel
  40. "I'm a self-flagellating hypocrite slut." ~Kate Lockley
  41. "That is so high school. 'Cordelia wears bras! Oooh, she has girl parts!'" ~Cordelia Chase mocking Doyle
  42. "That's the funny thing about me - I tend to hear the words people say and accept them at face-value." ~Xander Harris
  43. "There are definitely date-like qualities at work, here." ~Xander HarrisDav
  44. "I worked long and hard to get this pompous." ~Riley Finn
  45. "Hey, everyone, it's Giles! With a chainsaw!" ~Xander Harris
  46. "I think my esophagus is melting." ~Angel
  47. "I always meant to do that [bungee jumping], but I intensely don't want to, so I haven't gotten around to it." ~Francis Allen Doyle
  48. "Some of your patrons are turning into cavemen." ~Xander Harris
  49. "This will give them time to ponder the geo-political ramifications of BEING MEAN TO ME." ~Xander Harris
  50. "It's like wrestlin' a tiger just to get to know her." ~Francis Allen Doyle about Cordelia
  51. "I'm just closin' these so our boss doesn't burst into flames. If that's all right with you." ~Francis Allen Doyle shutting a few curtains
  52. "Oh, man, LATIN! One of those dead languages you always mean to learn!" ~Francis Allen Doyle
  53. "The past, she don't let go, does she?" ~Francis Allen Doyle
  54. "You moron! Dinette set should be mine." ~Rupert Giles, playing along at home
  55. "If you're doin' it, I think you should be able to say it." ~Xander Harris to Willow Rosenberg
  56. "Am I wrong in thinking a 'Please,' and 'Thank you' is generally considered good form when requesting a dismemberment?" ~Cordelia Chase
  57. "Mr. and Mrs. Spock need to mind meld, now." ~Cordelia Chase about Angel and Kate
  58. "You've got pensive face." ~Cordelia Chase to Angel
  59. "I've always got pensive face." ~Angel
  60. "Gosh. What our folks do to us, huh?" ~Angel after "therapy"
  61. "You both withdraw when I go vamp. I feel you judge me." ~Angel after "therapy"
  62. "I don't believe 'ugh' is the magic word, if one would call it a word, and even then, certainly not a magic one." ~Angel after "therapy"
  63. "You know, Anthony, you can be a rainbow, not a 'pain'bow." ~Angel after "therapy"
  64. "I've seen honest faces before. They usually come attached to liars." ~Willow Rosenberg
  65. "My little...mentholated...pack of smokes." ~Spike, running out of pet names
  66. "And remember, if you hurt her, I will beat you to death with a shovel. A vague disclaimer's nobody's friend." ~Willow Rosenberg
  67. "Well, you failed extremely well." ~Willow Rosenberg
  68. "Any reaction is okay...except projectile vomiting, but what are the chances of that?" ~Willow Rosenberg
  69. "That is so Teutonic!" ~Buffy Summers
  70. "Don't be ridiculous. I'd bite you in a heartbeat." ~Spike to Willow Rosenberg
  71. "I never would have guessed. You play the bloodlust kinda cool." ~Willow Rosenberg
  72. "I hate being obvious. All fangy and grrrr. Takes the mystery out." ~Spike
  73. "All I could think about was, if this wimp ever saw a monster he'd probably throw a shoe at it and run like a weasel. Turns out the shoe part was giving him to much credit." ~Cordelia Chase
  74. "Grade third taught Doy-- Doyle taught third grade? The kind with children?...You sure he wasn't held back and used that as a cover story?" ~Cordelia Chase
  75. "You're a good half-man." ~Richard Straley to Doyle
  76. "Look, Richard, as much as I like your family - and they're great, honest - I'd really prefer if they didn't cannibalise me." ~Francis Allen Doyle
  77. "Now I'm not so sure I even want to eat your brains." ~Richard Straley
  78. "I'm only going to ask you this once, Richard, and I expect a straight answer: were you or were you not intending to eat my ex-husband's brains?" ~Harriet
  79. "One word, Francis, just one, and I'll eat your brains." ~Harriet
  80. "Hi, Doyle. Are you gonna become loser piney guy, like, full time, now? 'Cause, you know, we already have one of those around the office." ~Cordelia Chase
  81. "I think it, I say it. That's my way." ~Cordelia Chase
  82. "It's not awkward unless we let it be awkward." ~Marshall Eriksen
  83. "I know. Volume not weight. Please don't write in and tell me. It was a joke. It wasn't even a good joke. Do not waste the time you could be spending to make the world a better place telling me why my dog is not a bushel." ~Neil Gaiman, who obviously knows the internet
  84. "The lad could throw the Torchwood SUV into a hairpin turn, knock a Weevil down with a well-placed blow, and run a hundred metres like Christian Malcolm. But he wasn't the sort to put a comforting arm around someone or punch them playfully on the arm, and he'd die rather than hug you. Ianto never gave a second look to Gwen or Toshiko. And Jack was always hitting on him, so he was probably gay, hiding in the closet with the lights off and hoping no one could hear him breathing." ~Owen Harper contemplating Ianto Jones in Peter Anghelides' Another Life
  85. "I'm gonna need a longer grapple." ~Batman
  86. "Next time I let Superman take charge, just hit me real hard." ~Batman
  87. "Who are all these people, and where are their parents?" ~Adrian Monk at a tailgate party
  88. "Did you enjoy civilization, Leeland? I sure did. It was a hell of a run, 8000 years." ~Adrian Monk at a tailgate party
  89. "Beer; nature's off-switch." ~Leeland Stottlemeyer
  90. "I get tired a lot and I have pregnancy brain, which I never realized was a thing but it is. I sort of feel like a Koala bear where I'm slightly stoned all the time and I'll say the wrong word." ~Alyson Hannigan
  91. "Their technology--our technology is way beyond ours--yours. Want a chart to keep it straight?" ~Galen Tyrol
  92. "I consider myself a good person. But I'm going to try to make him cry." ~Oscar Martinez
  93. "Yeah, yeah. Roar roar to you, too, buddy." ~Inuyasha
  94. "I think my soul just threw up a little bit." ~Lily Aldrin
  95. "It's like when the Republicans countered Hilary with that lady who killed bears with her hands." ~Wyatt Cynac
  96. "Let's not shoot the crazy end-of-the-world machine just yet, okay." ~Jack Carter
  97. "Football is American; why are the Romans numering our bowls?!" ~Stephen Colbert
  98. "There's too many variables to go live. I would never recommend any artist go live, because the slightest glitch would devastate the performance." ~Superbowl pre-show producer Rickey Minor (oh, AMERICA...)
  99. "I would happily watch a show wherein the premise was Giles and Spike riding around in a car together." ~Draca Darkwingette
  100. "Explosions! Creepy stuff! Shenanigans! Running! Snogging! Gore! Swearing! Eve Myles leaping through the air firing two guns! WHAT MORE COULD YOU POSSIBLY WANT??" ~James Moran on TW S3

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