Quotes (Page 31)!

  1. "I love that movie sort of!" ~Hillary
  2. "You have pictures that you like, but then you realize "Wow, I"m a fat ass." Or something." ~Hillary
  3. "I wanna be a dominatrix for Christmas." ~Hillary
  4. "It"s not really a good sign when your audience applauds Satan." ~Jon Stewart
  5. "Robin Diane Whittle, I am not a whore." ~Hillary
  6. "I am not helping you at all, am I? This is why roommates should be shot." ~Hillary
  7. "On the new AIM, I can have a profile even if I am a person." ~Hillary
  8. "It was Data, and he was trying to kill me!" ~Hillary
  9. "Life without Jake... Only a few seconds, now..." ~Wilhelm Grimm
  10. "That's what marriage is for: giving your husband a tummy. You don't marry a man with a tummy." ~Hillary
  11. "Stop laughing at me while I'm thinking." ~Hillary
  12. "I like to worry about things from all angles." ~Lucas Pegg
  13. "America may have some problems, but it"s our home, our team. If you don"t wanna root for your team, get the [Tartarus] out of the stadium. Go America." ~Stan Marsh
  14. "You can't spell 'inspiration' without 'procrastination'!" ~Ron Stoppable
  15. "If tat spider eats you, I"m going to kill you." ~Jeff Davis
  16. "It"s not really a date if the girl goes home to her fianc"." ~Jim Halpert
  17. "This is what happens when Cartman is allowed to exercise his freedom of speech." ~Kyle Broflovski
  18. "Oh my god! Walmart's about to march on Poland!" ~Lewis Black
  19. "Why is it that everyone who's been in Red Dwarf is more famous than us?" ~Danny John-Jules about the main cast
  20. "Evidently it was almost ALWAYS cold when they were filming [Red Dwarf] (except for, ironically, the snow-scenes in "Marooned", in which they were _broiling_!) and nearly freezing to death was a quite popular pasttime among the cast, whenever they had to do a night shoot." ~Captain Chaotica!!
  21. "They give you a hard-light drive so you can do anything you want with your hands and what do you do with them...? You put them on your hips." ~Craig Charles to Chris Barrie
  22. "Love is a possible strength in an actual weakness. Marriage transforms a distraction into a support, the power of which should be, and happily often is, in direct proportion to the degree of imbecility it supplants." ~Thomas Hardy, Far from the Madding Crowd
  23. "[Power buttons are] usually red, or have redness near them. It"s like genital herpes." ~Hillary
  24. "You seem to go out of your way to make me feel like an idiot every time you see me, and you really needn't bother. I already feel like an idiot most of the time." ~Bridget Jones
  25. "The knuckle-dragging yin to my knuckle-headed yang." ~Ron Stoppable about Monkey Fist
  26. "That"s what theories ARE, aren"t they?" ~Kim Possible on jumping to conclusions
  27. "Dude...I think you"re on a date." ~Ron Stoppable
  28. "I remember you doin" this in rehersals and me gettin" really cheesed off about your impersonation of me, actually. We weren"t gettin" on well at the time, and I was thinkin", "I"m gonna punch you in a minute"." ~Craig Charles on Chris Barrie"s impression of Lister in "Thanks for the Memory"
  29. "Backstreet Boys equals a big NO." ~Hillary
  30. "I think the phrase rhymes with "clucking bell"." ~Blackadder
  31. "I reckon I might almost be willing to take that ride." ~Adam Savage on riding an escape chute from 2,000 feet
  32. "The moral of the story is, "Appreciate what you"ve got, "cause basically, I"m fantastic"." ~Holly
  33. "I just thought, there are very few stories involving me, Anna Nicole Smith, and Jesus." ~Jon Stewart
  34. "What you had to do in this life was get past the pineapple. It was big and sharp and knobbly, but there might be peaches underneath." ~Moist von Lipwig
  35. "Gilt and Vetinari shared a look. It said: While I loathe you and every aspect of your personal philosophy to a depth unplumbable by any line, I"ll credit you at least with not being Crispin Horsefry." ~Terry Pratchett, Going Postal
  36. "I reasoned that if I destroyed the world all in one go, no one would know." ~Mr. Rumbelow
  37. "Just below the dome, staring down from their niches, were statues of the Virtues: Patience, Chastity, Silence, Charity, Hope, Tubso, Bissonomy*, and Fortitude. (*Many cultures practice neither of these in the hustle and bustle of the modern world, because no one can remember what they are.)" ~Terry Pratchett, Going Postal
  38. "[I invited you to dinner] Because you called me a phony. You saw through me straight away. Because you didn"t nail my head to the door with your crossbow. Because you have no small talk. Because I"d like to get to know you better, even though it would be like smooching an ashtray. Because I wonder if you could put into the rest of your life the passion you put into smoking a cigarette. In defiance of Miss Maccalariat I"d like to commit hanky-panky with you, Miss Adora Belle Dearheart...well, certainly hanky and possibly panky when we get to know each other better." ~Moist von Lipwig
  39. "Often, but not uniquely, a ladle, but sometimes a metal spatula or, rarely, a mechanical egg-whisk that nobody in the house admits to ever buying. The desperate, mad rattling and cries of "How can it close on the damn thing but not open with it? Who bought this? Do we ever use it?" is as praise unto Anoia [a minor goddess of Things that Stick in Drawers]. She also eats corkscrews." ~Terry Pratchett, Going Postal
  40. "It is not often that a wailing woman rushes into a room and throws herself at a man. It had never happened to Moist before. Now it happened, and it seemed such a waste that the woman was Miss Macclariat....Moist reeled under her weight. She was dragging at his collar so hard that he was likely to end up on the floor, and the thought of being found on the floor with Miss Macclariat was-well, a thought that just couldn"t be thoughted. The head would explode before thoughting it." ~Terry Pratchett, Going Postal
  41. "And so we progress. Always keep moving. There may be something behind you." ~Moist von Lipwig
  42. "[Veterinary work] was a good, traditional area, certainly. Pity about all that publicity when the hamster smashed its way out of its treadmill and ate that man"s leg before flying away, but that was Progreth for you." ~Igor
  43. "There was a pregnant pause. It gave birth to a lot of little pauses, each one more deeply embarrassing than its parent." ~Terry Pratchett, Going Postal
  44. "Moist missed the rest of the sentence. Innocent words swirled in it like debris caught in a flood, occasionally bobbing to the surface and waving desperately before being pulled under again. He caught "the" several times before it drowned, and even "disconnect" and "gear chain," but the roaring, technical polysyllables rose and engulfed them all." ~Terry Pratchett, Going Postal
  45. "[Moist] wasn"t interested in machinery; he thought of a spanner as something that had another person holding it. It was best to just smile and wait. That was the thing about artificers, they loved explaining. You just had to wait until they reached your level of understanding, even if it meant that they had to lie down." ~Terry Pratchett, Going Postal
  46. "[The big horned helmet] makes me so noticeable that no one will suspect I"m trying not to be noticed, so they won"t bother to notice me." ~Sane Alex
  47. "In my experience, the best way to get something done is to give it to someone who is done." ~Havelock Vetinari
  48. "Sometimes the truth is arrived at by adding all the little lies together and deducting them from the totality of what is known." ~Terry Pratchett, Going Postal
  49. "Peel away the lies , and the truth would emerge, naked and ashamed and with nowhere else to hide." ~Terry Pratchett, Going Postal
  50. "The people who guard the rainbow don"t like those who get in the way of the sun." ~Terry Pratchett, Going Postal
  51. "Rufus, I think some serious physics just happened." ~Ron Stoppable
  52. "These folks have forgotten the true meaning of Christmas, which is leaving me alone." ~Adrian Monk
  53. "My car doesn"t drive so good with a tree in it." ~Jack Withrowe
  54. "You don"t talk to [jerkfaces] who cheat on their girlfriends." ~Dr. Izzy Stevens
  55. "It"s hard to watch his eyes without feeling you"re being indelicate. They"re totally exposed " not through innocence, but through an addiction to observation. If eyes are windows on the soul, his have neither panes nor curtains, and he stands in the window frame and you can"t see past his gaze." ~John Berger, Photocopies
  56. "It is a rather disconcerting and annoying thing to discover that one cannot lie to one"s parent." ~Apropos of Nothing
  57. "I"m a realist! If living in the real world makes me a coward in your eyes, then fine!" ~Apropos of Nothing
  58. "I didn"t know what to make of it. As far as I was concerned, I had displayed the questionable attribute of not knowing when to come in out of the rain. And because of this, the guard was suddenly treating me as if I was worthy of respect. Only in this world of topsy-turvy attitudes could outright stupidity, such as I had displayed, be something that got me high marks. I had an amused glimmering of a notion at that point: If I ever turned out to be a complete and utter fool, I could wind up running the whole kingdom. It was something to consider." ~Apropos of Nothing
  59. "He didn"t comprehend that my mood had been spoiled the day that I was born, and it had only been downhill from there." ~Apropos of Nothing
  60. "I can tell you, there"s nothing like having someone say "Damn your eyes" to let you know that they"re genuinely concerned." ~Apropos of Nothing
  61. "Four words that have no business in each other"s company. One doesn"t live ever after. And there"s very little happily about it." ~Apropos of Nothing
  62. "In retrospect, I would have to recommend against epiphanies. They are very difficult on an emotional level, and they also sometimes move you to foolish and inopportune acts, which was what happened in my case." ~Apropos of Nothing
  63. "I guess it really had been brave...because it was so [smegging] stupid, and if there was one thing I"d come to realize, it was that bravery and [smegging] stupidity went hand in hand." ~Apropos of Nothing
  64. "Suddenly the line of demarcation between the festivals of good and evil became that much clearer for me. When good is celebrating, you don"t have an overwhelming urge to run screaming into the night. Well...unless a mime is performing." ~Apropos of Nothing
  65. "When one is put on as high a pedestal as Tacit was, one makes a very loud thud when one falls off it." ~Apropos of Nothing
  66. "I was going to be gored and crushed while sniffing flowers. I didn"t know whether to laugh or cry, and settled for shrieking in terror." ~Apropos of Nothing
  67. "I moaned. Not only was I going to die, but I was going to die having listening to homilies." ~Apropos of Nothing
  68. "I had no idea. And I disliked having no idea. If you were unable to decide what to do about any given situation before it happened, that left open the opportunity for events to overtake you. That was how people got themselves killed, and I had every intention of living as long and full a life as possible." ~Apropos of Nothing
  69. "There are some mornings where not only do you wake up badly, but you just know the day isn"t going to get any better." ~Apropos of Nothing
  70. "Finally I was relieved to see him clap his hands to his ears and declare, "Enough!" His advisors promptly shut up. As far as I was concerned, that was enough reason to become king right there: Being able to tell people to shut their mouths, and make it stick." ~Apropos of Nothing
  71. "I turned away, not wanting to hear that one again, and headed for my quarters, leaving her behind. But she didn"t stay left behind. I could hear footsteps following me, and the chances were good that wherever her footsteps were, she was likely accompanying them." ~Apropos of Nothing
  72. "Well, now the solution easily presented itself. I wasn"t going to have to marry her. No one would make me marry a corpse, because I was going to kill her with my bare hands." ~Apropos of Nothing
  73. "I was talking to myself. It"s the only way I"m assured intelligent conversation." ~Apropos of Nothing
  74. "I refuse to exist as a side issue to someone else"s epic again. That"s no way to live." ~Apropos of Nothing
  75. "Stop hiding behind your brainwaves!" ~Arthur Ramsey
  76. "I hate when the ambulance drivers are laughing so hard you can hear them over the sirens." ~Rob Cockerham
  77. "hehe robin you are a veritable fount of... well something" ~Lily
  78. "I slowly came to the realization that "really hot" is not the same thing as "on fire"." ~Rob Cockerham
  79. "Genocide! What"s your favourite thing in the world, Robin?" ~Hillary
  80. "I"m not a fan of the facts. Facts change; my opinion never does." ~Stephen Colbert
  81. "Procrastination is one of the few skills I"ve mastered; don"t slam it!" ~Ron Stoppable
  82. "If you do something and people think you"re stupid, just go for crazy, because crazy people get more respect." ~Louis C.K.
  83. "I will always be mad at someone. That will never go away." ~Howard Stern
  84. "I need staples...I hate moving. If I could be in a wheelchair, I would be the happiest person alive. Especially if I had the motorized kind. Whee!" ~Hillary
  85. "I"m studying, so I"m on My Space." ~Hillary
  86. "They were sunk in books, chained to the alphabet, in thrall to sentences and paragraphs." ~Cynthia Ozick, The Messiah of Stockholm
  87. "There was a sweetness in all of them, the whole three-o"clock crew-the weak honey of reverence. Literary creatures who served, side-stepped, and sometimes sold out the Muses." ~Cynthia Ozick, The Messiah of Stockholm
  88. "Now it"s just a fragment of truth, an artifact unearthed from the silty riverbed of my mind. And I the archeologist of this region as puzzled as everyone else at what I sometimes find. But that, after all, is what has kept me writing, year after year. An engine of creation." ~Eric Lustbader, "In Darkness, Angels"
  89. "Jack steered his weary feet across a carpet that was much of a muchness as carpets went, but hardly much of anything as they might go." ~Robert Rankin, The Hollow Chocolate Bunnies of the Apocalypse
  90. "It"s a special ambiguity thing. Something to do with the transperambulation of pseudo-cosmic antimatter. Easily explainable in terms of quantum physics, if you know what I mean." ~Anders Anders
  91. "The building itself was a magnificent affair and a description of its architectural splendors may well have filled several paragraphs, had anyone been in the mood to write them down. But if anyone had been in the mood, then that mood might well have been mollified by the fact that the showrooms of the Clockwork Car Company were presently fiercely ablaze." ~Robert Rankin, The Hollow Chocolate Bunnies of the Apocalypse
  92. "When things are not as they appear to be, it's because they're actually simpler than you think them to be. Things are never as difficult and complicated as folk believe. You'd be surprised at how straightforward and obvious things really are. The secret is knowing how to look at them the right way." ~Anders Anders
  93. "Any job that posts a price list for your body parts is a bad job." ~Jeff Foxworthy
  94. "When the bus driver gets off the bus, who shuts the door?" ~Bill Engvall
  95. "Another day, another six-hundred things to dread." ~Wade Duck
  96. "The problem with the world is there's too many stupid people in the world and nobody to eat them." ~Carlos Mencia
  97. "Lawd...Lawd...if there is ANYTHING out there cuter and more squeal-inducing than that Fool of a Took, I am unaware of it. And wish to remain so." ~The High Freakin" Priestess
  98. "I don"t get why the government is the only one that gets to print money." ~Stephen Colbert
  99. "I"m not a philosopher. I don"t think about ethics that much. They"re sort of involuntary functions, like breathing. If you have to stop and think about it, you"re probably already doing something wrong." ~ Digger-of-Unnecessarily-Convoluted-Tunnels
  100. "I want to clamp Michael"s face in a Foreman grill." ~Jim Halpert

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