Quotes (Page 22)!

  1. "As a party, they are ineffectual, devoid of feck. Feckless." ~Ed Helms
  2. "It is all very well you yourself thinking things aren"t right in a relationship, but if the other person starts doing it is like someone else criticizing your mother. Also it starts you thinking you are about to be chucked, which, apart from pain, loss, heartbreak etc. is very humiliating." ~Bridget Jones
  3. "Hair has gone mad as if in sympathy. Bizarre the way that hair is normal for weeks on end then suddenly in space of five minutes goes berserk, announcing it is time to cut in manner of baby starting yelling to be fed." ~Bridget Jones
  4. "Surely it cannot be true that men have football instead of emotions?" ~Bridget Jones
  5. ""Hi," he said, sitting down at the kitchen table as if he were my husband. Was unsure how to deal with two-people-in-room-with-totally-different-concept-of-reality scenario." ~Bridget Jones
  6. "Thank God, Mr. Darcy, and all angels in heaven." ~Bridget Jones
  7. "Hurrah! Let"s bring it back to ourselves. There"s nothing more annoying than being distracted from our own self-obsession by others." ~Tom
  8. "Election days are one of the few occasions when you realize it is we, the people, who are in charge and the government are just our mutatedly bloated, arrogant pawns and now our time has come to stand together and wield our power." ~Bridget Jones
  9. "I"d quite like to have a baby and see my line extended but, one, I"m too selfish to look after it and, two: I"m a pouf. But you"d be good at looking after it if you didn"t leave it in a shop." ~Tom to Bridget Jones
  10. "Couldn"t believe it. Had only just walked into the party and was being Smug Married by someone who was three." ~Bridget Jones
  11. "Is amazing the way the world of middle-class ladies manages to smooth everything into its own, turning all the chaos and complication of the world into a lovely secure mummy stream, rather as lavatory cleaner turns everything in the toilet pink." ~Bridget Jones
  12. "I"ve been a parent for fifteen years. I think I know better than to trust my kids." ~Alan Matthews
  13. "I got updated." ~Kenny
  14. "Mom, Frank, don"t wait up. I"m gonna kill Rich, and then we need to find a place to bury the body." ~Dana Foster
  15. "I can"t throw him out. I need his rent to loan you the money to pay yours." ~Frank Lambert
  16. "Don"t touch me, I"ll get pregnant." ~Dana Foster
  17. "There"s not even any chocolate syrup. What kind of a hellish nightmare is this?!" ~Rich Halke
  18. "This isn"t what it looks like. These are bean curd donuts, and this seaweed pizza." ~Rich Halke
  19. "Junk food is the gateway drug." ~Dana Foster
  20. "Dana, I don"t want you to take this the wrong way, but you"re a twit." ~Frank Lambert
  21. "I I've been meaning to contact you but the computer was only inducted into the household about 6 weeks ago, caught my attention 3 weeks ago, and I've spent that time planning my trip to Denver to see my favorite band, HIM, and honing my computer literacy by pirating music and flirting with Canadians. Feel free to organize that sentence and add periods as you see fit." ~My cousin
  22. "It struck me as pretty ridiculous to be called Mr. Darcy and to stand on you own looking snooty at a party. It's like being called Heathcliff and insisting on spending the entire evening in the garden, shouting 'Cathy' and banging your head against a tree." ~Bridget Jones
  23. "Who's crazier, the website, or the one who built it?" ~Marshall
  24. "Oh, graphic jokes..." ~Jon Stewart
  25. "Amend our constitution because...it"s been a while." ~Jon Stewart
  26. "Well, I"m always willing to get romantic advice from a fetus." ~Eric Matthews to Cory
  27. "I am a dating god. Worship me." ~Eric Matthews
  28. "The worst thing about reading new books is that they keep us from reading the old ones." ~Joseph Joubert
  29. "Booyah! One for the good guys! Oh...Booyah denied..." ~Ron Stoppable
  30. "Booyah reinstated!" ~Ron Stoppable
  31. "Many tales may be clear, and yet not true." ~Chorus of Helen
  32. "Truth itself is often bewildering." ~Helen
  33. "A name can be in any number of places: a person can only be in one place." ~Helen
  34. "Prophecy was invented to entrap men with the promise of success; no one ever got wealth without labour by studying sacrifices. The best oracle is care and common sense." ~Messenger in Helen
  35. "For Aphrodite " may she forgive me; but I have had no dealings with her in the past, and I will grow old a virgin as I am now." ~Theonoe
  36. "It may invite ill-luck; but if there"s something solid to be gained, I"m willing to die " in fiction." ~Menelaus
  37. "Well, there is one thing every man has to learn: it is, not to be too trustful." ~Messenger in Helen
  38. "JT, I can"t believe it. You were actually able to outsmart a seven-year-old." ~Rich Halke
  39. "Hi, Honey. We"re just having some friends over to watch Masterpiece Theatre. It"s, um, Sherlock Holmes and the Case of the Missing...Thong." ~Rich Halke
  40. "We are excited. We are just pumped. We are...screwed." ~Rich Halke
  41. "Can"t shake the Devil"s hand and say you"re only kidding." ~"Your Racist Friend," They Might Be Giants
  42. "Actually, I was kinda the wife in this dream." ~Rich Halke
  43. "They haven"t had the [Tartarus] beaten out of them. This is intellectual [Tartarus]." ~My Chem professor
  44. "Do you have any familiarity with this molecule? I urge you to be cautious with your familiarity." ~My Chem professor on ethanol
  45. "Would you like to build a fireplace out of a material with a low melting point? Oh, heck. I built a fire and my chimney melted." ~My Chem professor
  46. "Solvation. Note that this is not salvation. That"s a different process." ~My Chem professor
  47. "Entropy is mortified by a change like this. "Aaahh! You brought all this disorder and I don"t like it." That was an entropy person talking." ~My Chem professor
  48. "Do you want to make sodium chloride walls? It"d be fine until it rains. Goodbye walls." ~My Chem professor
  49. "Upon the yielding spirit [Aphrodite] comes gently, but to the proud and the fanatic heart she is a torturer with the brand of shame." ~Nurse from Hippolytus
  50. "That wasn"t patronizing, that was condescending." ~Some guy at a birthday party on my floor
  51. "Do not mistake for wisdom that opinion which may rise from a sick mind." ~Teiresias in The Bacchae
  52. "The brash unbridled tongue, the lawless folly of fools, will end in pain. But the life of wise content is blest with quietness, escapes the storm and keeps its house secure." ~Chorus of The Bacchae
  53. "It"s a wise man"s part to practice a smooth-tempered self-control." ~Dionysus in The Bacchae
  54. "But this I say, that he who best enjoys each passing day is truly blest." ~Chorus in The Bacchae
  55. "It looks like a phone, but it"s a shoe. Incredibly uncomfortable shoe." ~Rob Corddry
  56. "From now on, intelligence will arrive at the White House premisinterpretted." ~Rob Corddry
  57. "Any time a group has "family" in its name, you know it"s not happy." ~Jon Stewart
  58. "Cory, you"re grounded for two weeks...I don"t know [what you did], but the way you"re acting, it"s gotta be worth two weeks." ~Alan Matthews
  59. "Mr. Matthews, unhand that Minkus." ~George Feeny
  60. "I heard that Shawn might be involved to the extent that, well, he did it." ~Alan Matthews
  61. "Hey! I was doing the news." ~Jon Stewart
  62. "There"s nothing like a shipwreck to spark the imagination of everyone who was not on that specific ship." ~Jon Stewart
  63. "Even though I haven"t been in your lives, I"ve certainly been in mine." ~Woody Harelson
  64. "Once again, Woody Harelson, you have trumped me." ~Jon Stewart
  65. "Okay, that"s just logic. That"s getting in the way." ~Jason of Boy Meets World
  66. "Your children are the spawn of Satan." ~George Feeny to Alan Matthews
  67. "It is right, I think, to consider both stupid and lacking in foresight those poets of old who wrote songs for revels and dinners and banquets, pleasant sounds for men living at ease; but none of them all has discovered how to put to an end with their singing or musical instruments grief, bitter grief, from which death and disaster cheat the hopes of a house. Yet how good if music could cure men of this! But why raise to no purpose the voice at a banquet? For there is already abundance of pleasure for men with a joy of its own." ~The nurse in Medea
  68. "For my part, rather than stories of gold in my house or power to sing even sweeter songs than Orpheus, I"d choose the fate that made me a distinguished man." ~Jason in Medea
  69. "Surely in many ways I hold different views from others, for I think that the plausible speaker who is a villain deserves the greatest punishment." ~Medea
  70. "O [Aphrodite], never on me let loose the unerring shaft of your bow in the poison of desire. Let my heart be wise. It is the god"s best gift." ~Chorus of Medea
  71. "Our human life I think and have thought a shadow, and I do not fear to say that those who are held wise among men and who search the reasons of things are those who bring the most sorrow on themselves." ~Messenger in Medea
  72. "She called me a big booger head. But she did it in French." ~Dana Foster
  73. "That"s just a joke. Don"t hit your kids " they"ve got guns, now." ~Greg Rogell
  74. "Golf"s the only sport that comes with a slave." ~Greg Rogell
  75. "Jews don"t dunk. It"s in the bible." ~Greg Rogell
  76. "Falling is bad, you know that, right? Be careful! There"s a lot of gravity out there." ~Adrian Monk
  77. "Sometimes you"ve got to know when to ignore me." ~Eric Matthews
  78. "The express train to Hottieville left me standin" at the station." ~Ron Stoppable
  79. "I need to drown my sorrows in a Slurpster." ~Ron Stoppable
  80. "Indeed to avoid war is a wise man"s duty; yet if war comes, then a hero"s death confers as much fame on his city as a coward"s brings infamy." ~Cassandra in The Women of Troy
  81. "The gods, I know, are treacherous allies; yet, when misery drives to despair, it seems in some way suitable to call on gods." ~Hecabe in The Women of Troy
  82. "Good fortune means nothing; call no man happy till the day he dies." ~Hecabe in The Women of Troy
  83. "Fear is bad; but fear lacking all ground or reason is worse." ~Hecabe in The Women of Troy
  84. "Can I stop whining and shove a sword through someone"s chest?" ~Cory Matthews while portraying Hamlet
  85. "Maybe if Hamlet had worn tights, he could have made a decision or two." ~Cory Matthews
  86. "Trick to raising a twelve-year-old is to ignore him." ~Amy Matthews
  87. "This whole marriage, family thing"s been a lot of fun, but I"ve gotta go." ~Dan Conner
  88. "Another topic which is too broad [for a term paper] is "Zeus" Extramarital Affairs." ~My Women in Antiquity professor
  89. "They used sponges as tampons, as toilet paper, as washcloths. Not the same ones." ~My Women in Antiquity professor
  90. "This is extremely important in college, because this is why you can make Jack Daniels." ~My Chem discussion instructor
  91. "Termites " 12, Leigh Hall " 0. But [dagnabit], at least we won in Tallahassee." ~My Chem professor
  92. "This isn"t about a boy, it"s about Ron." ~Kim Possible
  93. "Have I been put on this earth to suffer?!" ~Ron Stoppable
  94. "Right attitude, wrong daughter." ~Dan Conner
  95. "If I had a nickel for every time I heard that, I could have grande sized!" ~Ron Stoppable
  96. "Okay, let"s get this Operation Too Complicated to Work over with." ~Shego
  97. "Just because we"re kids with a blender doesn"t mean we have to make a mess." ~Cory Matthews
  98. "I"m gonna kill you. And then I"m gonna bring you back to life and kill you again." ~Eric Matthews
  99. "You"re a lot like a prince; just sitting around looking cute and not being very competent." ~Duckie"s Gov teacher to a student in her class
  100. "It"s a woobie." ~Mr. Keech

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