Quotes (Page 21)!

  1. "OK...go read and remember that I love you, even if you support the other side." ~My dad on election night
  2. "Reverend Sharpton, are there gnomes or wood nymphs where you are?" ~Jon Stewart
  3. "I love cursing. It"s such a stress reliever." ~Fay
  4. "We should have a think or die campaign." ~Jason
  5. "I"m the government." ~Dave Kovic
  6. "He"s not a president, he"s an ordinary person. I can kill and ordinary person." ~Bob Alexander
  7. "Acronym. That"s a school word. I should know this." ~Ron Stoppable
  8. "I"d vote for myself because I couldn"t possibly suck as bad as our other options." ~Greg Giraldo
  9. "I"d kill you, but I can"t move." ~Eric Matthews
  10. "I never thought I"d say this, but I miss voter fraud." ~Jon Stewart
  11. "That"s it! Cheerleaders! They"re the answer to the world"s ecological problems!" ~Rich Halke
  12. "Too many years of sixth graders have bled me of my humanity." ~George Feeny
  13. "If you don"t like to kill people like that, plug one equation into the other." ~My Calc discussion professor
  14. "Lagrange is a dead mathematician. French. "Multiplier" is not his other name." ~My Calc discussion professor
  15. "Does anybody have friends in business calculus? You probably don"t talk to them because they"re such lowlifes." ~My Calc discussion professor
  16. "To work the rest of the problem, you call up your friendly gerbil..." ~My Calc discussion iprofessor on a particularly easy integral
  17. "This is not a problem you would see as a math major because it"s useful." ~My Calc discussion professor
  18. "You can do this experiment at home..." ~My Chem professor holding a recently imploded coke can
  19. "That"s the good think about Pascals. They turn out to be standard units, whereas [atmospheres, bars, Torr, and mm Hg] turn out to be [idiot] units." ~My Chem discussion instructor
  20. "It"s good that oxygen molecules don"t weigh much." ~My Chem professor
  21. "That ain"t what science is about. And only I may say "ain"t"." ~My Chem professor
  22. "We don"t have time to be saving people." ~Inuyasha
  23. "During these years, in which I vowed to do nothing and leave myself alone about it, I accidentally produced several plays, a handful of sketches, two screenplays, and a reorganization of my entire self...I suppose what I"m saying is, if you really want to work, stop working." ~Steve Martin, Pure Drivel
  24. "I could be typing "kjfiu joewmv jiw" and would enjoy it as much as typing words that actually make sense. I simply relish the movement of my fingers on the keys." ~Steve Martin, "Writing is Easy!"
  25. "Writer"s block is a fancy term made up by whiners so they can have an excuse to drink alcohol." ~Steve Martin, "Writing is Easy!"
  26. "Many very fine writers are intimidated when they have to write the way people really talk. Actually it"s quite easy. Simply lower your IQ by fifty and start typing!" ~Steve Martin, "Writing is Easy!"
  27. "By attaching a "heavy weighted slug" to a truncated supercissoid, a disproportionate fulcrum is created. In other words, if you"re a TV set showing Regis promoting a diet book, and you"re in a room with an angry unpublished poet holding a sledgehammer, watch out." ~Steve Martin, "The Sledgehammer: How it Works"
  28. "The hissy fit is sustained throughout the day by an unpleasant cranial crowding of facts, comments, and sights, all of which must be simultaneously remembered, until the writer can unsheathe his computer and download his brain." ~Steve Martin, "Hissy Fit"
  29. "You mean like wear a fedora?...You know what would be bold? If he wore a cape." ~Jon Stewart, evidently imagining President Bush as Darkwing Duck
  30. "Scribble liberty!" ~Mac
  31. "I worship [Aphrodite]"but from a long way off, for I am chaste...Men make their choice: one man honors one God, and one another." ~Hippolytus
  32. "If in the sum you have more good luck than ill, count yourself fortunate"for you are mortal." ~Nurse
  33. "Love is like a flitting bee in the world"s garden and for its flowers, destruction is in ihis breath." ~Chorus of Hippolytus
  34. "What fools men are! You work and work for nothing, you teach ten thousand tasks to one another, invent, discover everything. One thing only you do not know: one thing you never hunt for"a way to teach fools wisdom." ~Theseus
  35. "A quick death is the easiest of ends for miserable men." ~Theseus
  36. "Have you taken a blow to the head, Mr. Matthews?" ~George Feeny
  37. "When the health inspectors saw a live rodent, you know, serving the food, the die was cast." ~Ron Stoppable
  38. "No matter what we do we"re gonna screw our kids up. Let me have Darlene and you can have Becky." ~Roseanne Conner
  39. "More often than not, even when frightened by the whiteness of my skin, they merely looked away. They deceived themselves, I quickly realized, that everything was explainable. It was the rational eighteenth-century frame of mind." ~Lestat
  40. "And my worst problem was laughter. I would go into fits of laughter and I couldn"t stop. Anything could set me off. The sheer madness of my own position might set me off. This can still happen to me fairly easily. No loss, no pain, no deepening understanding of my predicament changes it. Something strikes me as funny. I begin to laugh and I can"t stop." ~Lestat
  41. "She would have been gorgeous if someone had thrown her into a waterfall and held her there for half an hour..." ~Lestat
  42. "I never lie. At least not to those I don"t love." ~Lestat
  43. "And this lesson of mortal peace of mind I never forgot. Even if a ghost is ripping a house to pieces, throwing tin pans all over, pouring water on pillows, making clocks chime at all hours, mortals will accept almost any "natural explanation" offered, no matter how absurd, rather than the obvious supernatural one, for what is going on." ~Lestat
  44. "Talk in the shadows of intrigue. Who cares? Kingdoms rise and fall. Just don"t burn the paintings in the Louvre, that"s all." ~Lestat
  45. "["Satanic"] is what men would call it. They invented Satan, didn"t they? Satanic is merely the name they give to the behavior of those who would disrupt the orderly way in which men want to live." ~Gabrielle
  46. "It is petty to destroy anything merely for the sake of the destroying, don"t you think?" ~Lestat
  47. "It struck me that her hair might have been described as a shower of gold, that all the old poetry makes sense when you look at one whom you have loved." ~Lestat
  48. "He lives on in my mind now. Pious mortal phrase. And what kind of life is that? I don"t like living here myself!" ~Lestat
  49. "What does it mean to live on in the mind of another? Nothing, I think. You aren"t really there, are you?" ~Lestat
  50. "Very few beings really seek knowledge in this world. Mortal or immortal, few really ask. On the contrary, they try to wring from the unknown the answers they have already shaped in their own minds"justifications, confirmations, forms of consolation without which they can"t go on. To really ask is to open the door to the whirlwind. The answer may annihilate the question and the questioner." ~Marius
  51. "To be godless is probably the first step to innocence, to lose the sense of sin and subordination, the false grief for things supposed to be lost...[Innocence is] an absence of need for illusions. A love of and respect for what is right before your eyes." ~Marius
  52. "But I knew enough at forty to realize that most people you meet in taverns sound interesting for the first few minutes and then begin to weary you beyond endurance." ~Marius
  53. "The truth is most women are weak, be they mortal or immortal. But when they are strong, they are absolutely unpredictable." ~Marius
  54. "I don"t want to be destroyed. Such dangers and calamities are not interesting to me." ~Marius
  55. "I think to be this happy is to be miserable, to feel this much satisfaction is to burn." ~Lestat
  56. "Cute little halfling....BIG NASTY VAMPIRE!!" ~Duckie on my simultaneous addition of Pippin and Lestat to my harem
  57. "You can live a full, rewarding life without ever using outlined or shadowed [fonts]." ~Mike Markell, Technical Communication
  58. "Making out is not a spectator sport." ~Eric Matthews
  59. ""Robiny Snickett." That phrase has been stuck in my head all day. This is what it's like to be crazy." ~Gesture
  60. "You"re very smug now, aren"t you?" ~Dr. Drakken
  61. "I am what I is." ~Ron Stoppable
  62. "Let"s put it this way " on my detention slip, she just put one of those side-ways eight thingies." ~Ron Stoppable
  63. "Don"t mock what I am, Mr. Feeny." ~Eric Matthews
  64. "I"m speaking the prestigious international language of cold, hard cash." ~Ron Stoppable
  65. "Did you know your husband"s cheating on me with another son?" ~Cory Matthews
  66. "I can"t stop every woman who wants to sign my arm." ~Eric Matthews
  67. "I"m dating a popular girl because I was smart enough to get in on the ground floor." ~Eric Matthews
  68. "Cute. Dated, unbelievably uncool, but cute." ~Eric Matthews
  69. "In Egypt you have a god. Ra. He"s huge. The humans were small." ~My Women in Technology professor
  70. "Do you not think that this would be exo[thermic] as all [Tartarus]?" ~My Chem discussion instructor
  71. "He still had the same amount of liquid ice, but half of it was radioactive." ~My Chem discussion instructor
  72. "Well, that"s a sign of intelligence." ~Roseanne Conner"s response to "I"m flunking shop."
  73. "You look like the Mayor of Munchkin City." ~Jean-Luc Rieupeyroux to Rich Halke
  74. "I highlighted for us." ~Rich Halke
  75. "I got an A. I got an"! What the [Tartarus] kind of a sick joke is this?!" ~Rich Halke
  76. "Aside from sustaining massive internal injury and being chased by the Army, the Navy, and a troop of Girl Scouts with pinking shears, yeah. I"d say I"m fine." ~Darkwing Duck
  77. "Warning: Keep out of children." ~From a Korean kitchen knife
  78. "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands." ~From a Swedish chainsaw
  79. "Stock up and save. Limit: one." ~Advertisement
  80. "Man, honest. Will take anything." ~Wanted ad
  81. "I have written my own essays, I have written my own essays for other people, and I have written other people's essays for my own." ~Duckie
  82. "Iraq and chaos have been living together for a long time. It"s about time Iraq made an honest woman of chaos." ~Jon Stewart
  83. "There are currently more political parties in Iraq than unbombed buildings to hold them." ~Ed Helms
  84. "I need you to come here and kick my [tailfeathers], Cody." ~A guy on my floor
  85. "So you thought, "Let me take a vote to see if we should immolate this woman"." ~Jon Stewart
  86. "I can"t believe I"m comforting a billionaire." ~Jon Stewart
  87. "Say goodbye to your poor, exploited brother, Sweetie." ~Amy Matthews
  88. "We"re American! We"re independent! We get our goods from Japan!" ~Cory Matthews
  89. "The future"s always incomplete. That"s why they call it "the future." When it"s complete, they tend to call it "the past"." ~Alan Matthews
  90. "That is so not cool to do to superhero!" ~Ron Stoppable when Kim Possible demasked him
  91. "By day, two ordinary kids. By night, two ordinary kids on a bus. Talkin" dirty." ~Shawn Hunter
  92. ""Powell movement." What do you think "PM" stands for?" ~Jon Stewart
  93. "Funny how the world is stupid." ~Kenny
  94. "Morals hold back society." ~Kenny
  95. "Honey, don"t look at her. She"s lopsided." ~Jason
  96. "My blood runs thick with herrings and sour cream." ~Richie Foley
  97. "It"s alright. I realize I"m here. I don"t think it"s the sort of thing we should be keeping from each other." ~Mark Darcy
  98. "Leave it. Please"in the name of God and all his cherubim, seraphim, saints, archangels, cloud attendants and beard trimmers"leave it." ~Mark Darcy
  99. "For a moment was at a loss. Advising one"s own father on the suspected gigolo-hiring habits of one"s own mother is not a subject had ever seen covered in any of my books." ~Bridget Jones
  100. "It"s kind of hard to win most elections on anti-family, immorality, and Satan-worship." ~Ed Helms

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