Quotes (Page 18)!

  1. "I"d rather have three decent things than six pieces of [garbage]. ~Mr. Marburger on a project
  2. "How can I stay mad at a girl who apologizes on a blimp?" ~Craig Bean
  3. "Just rice...When you play with it, it"s fun." ~Angela
  4. "April 14, 2004. Wait...I was thinking of Bob Dylan." ~Tracey
  5. "I can make out with my Mustang." ~Justin
  6. "This is the way for me to do the things that I got kicked out of class for." ~Brendan Fraser on acting
  7. "This is The Hobbit without a Hobbit." ~John on Beowulf
  8. "Humans are _weird_, is I guess the answer to this." ~Captain Chaotica!! on legends about brownies and such
  9. "Democrats " always standing up for what they later realize they should have believed in." ~Jon Stewart
  10. "Life is like a box of chocolates. And I"m gonna eat every [smegging] one." ~Loni Love
  11. "Don"t throw hamsters!" ~Ashley
  12. "If you try to make everyone follow your plan, you're really no better than a gym teacher." ~Tino Tonitini
  13. "Ashley, would you like to raise a prostitute?" ~Jordan while playing PM2
  14. "No, games involve strategy, cunning, and knowledge of the human psyche. Sports involve me looking like a geek." ~Tino Tonitini
  15. "We"re like backseat fathers." ~Duckie playing PM2
  16. "We"re lesbian fathers." ~Jordan playing PM2
  17. "What a piece of work you are! Can"t you be more sexy? If you can"t attract even one drunk guy, you"ll never be a real woman." ~Owner of "Sleazy Bar" in PM2
  18. "Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die." ~Mel Brooks
  19. "I"m searching for some disbelief that I can still suspend." ~They Might Be Giants, "Memo to Human Resources"
  20. "Where"s that font of acquired wisdom that eludes me now?" ~They Might Be Giants, "The World Before Later On"
  21. "I"ve got my house surrounded/I know I"m in there/Come out with both my hands up/And don"t make me come in and get me." ~They Might Be Giants, "I Can"t Hide from My Mind"
  22. "Could you please not...incite the pigeon to violence?!" ~Tino Tonitini
  23. "You know the old saying...'Where there"s popcorn, there"s a blocked larynx.'" ~Tino Tonitini
  24. "The Atkins" diet is where you eat bacon for six or seven months...and the end result is that you lose weight. Because you"re dead." ~Michael Ian Black
  25. "Tether ball is nothing but dodgeball on a rope." ~Tino Tonitini
  26. "Catch, you"re the best friend a guy with twenty diagnosed neuroses could have!" ~Peter McManus
  27. "I don't know why people don't paint more warthogs. Warthogs are fantastic. They have the most marvelous faces, like cracked mud with tusks. And the eyelashes! Like many otherwise hideous animals, they have truly spectacular eyelashes. But nooo, it's always the charismatic mammals, like foxes and wolves and tigers. Have you ever smelled a fox? Believe me, the warthog produces a light, airy fragrance suitable for the home or office compared to a fox. Um. What was I saying again?" ~Ursula Vernon
  28. "If you were pixels, you'd be dry by now!!" ~Ursula Vernon on painting
  29. "Once upon a time there was a girl who discovered that if she played a certain tune on a jade flute, she could summon up jade gnomes, a peculiar, harmless, but rather creepy looking spirit of the underground. The fact is that many of us have talents like this, but generally never discover them due to lack of opportunity, since one can go one's entire life without playing a jade flute, or discovering that one can speak the language of ground sloths, or turning fruitcake into solid tungsten by singing Sinatra tunes to it under a quarter moon." ~Ursula Vernon
  30. "Burying your father could adversely affect your allowance." ~Darkwolf Dog
  31. "I often don"t know where my Luggage is, that"s what being a tourist is all about." ~Twoflower
  32. "Inside every sane person there"s a madman struggling to get out." ~Shopkeeper in The Light Fantastic
  33. "He goofed off a lot." ~Duckie during the Young Hercules intro (you know, after "Before the man became legend... before the legend became myth...")
  34. "The Loch Ness monster is in, like, Britain or something. In the Loch Ness Sea." ~Anonymous idiot
  35. "Doesn"t it usually work better to fight fire with water?" ~Tino Tonitini
  36. "Thank you very much, Ed, that seems irresponsible." ~Jon Stewart
  37. "Perhaps shrewdly realizing that genre cliches are nothing if not for reinventing, Badelt delivers his rhythmically nervous Eurocentric sensibilities--sort of Holst duels Shostakovich on the Spanish Main--with the subtlety of a scorching cannonball." ~Jerry McCulley on Klaus Badelt"s score for Pirates of the Caribbean
  38. "I am automatically suspicious of things that wave their symbolism around and do little dances and bludgeon you over the head so that you [Darn] Well Know There's A Symbol Here." ~Ursula Vernon
  39. "I am what is around me." ~Wallace Stevens
  40. "This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force." ~Dorothy Parker
  41. "Heres" mind was a mind perennially locked in high gear. Whereas most men despair of the practicality of thinking of two things at once, Heres found difficulty in restraining himself to one." ~Brian M. Stableford, The Realms of Tartarus
  42. "The machine isn"t duplicating human functions"but the human is failing to duplicate, in any meaningful degree, the machine functions."~Rypeck
  43. "The slick myth always outlives any semblance of the reality." ~Rath
  44. "Time has to be taken. If you get into the habit of saving it, you get out of the habit of spending it." ~Rath
  45. "Now...if you trust in yourself...and believe in your dreams...and follow your star...you"ll still get beaten by people who spent their time working hard and learning things and weren"t so lazy." ~Miss Perspicacia Tick
  46. "What"s magic, eh? Just wavin" a stick an" sayin" a few wee magical words. An" what"s so cleaver aboot that, eh? But lookin" at things, really lookin" at "em, and then workin" "em oout, now, that"s a real skill." ~Rob Anybody
  47. "You could read the Nac Mac Feegle like a book. And it would be a big, simple book with lots of pictures of Spot the Dog and a Big Red Ball and one or two short sentences on each page." ~Terry Pratchett, The Wee Free Men
  48. "Them as can do has to do for them as can"t. And someone has to speak up for them as has no voices." ~Granny Aching
  49. "They were in every colour sweets can be, such as Not-Really-Raspberry Red, Fake-Lemon Yellow, Curiously-Chemical Orange, Some-Kind-Of-Acidy Green, and Who-Knows-What Blue." ~Terry Pratchett, The Wee Free Men
  50. "I"m me! I am careful and logical and I look up things I don"t understand! When I hear people use the wrong words, I get edgy! I am good with cheese. I read books fast! I think! And I always have a piece of string! That"s the kind of person I am!" ~Tiffany Aching
  51. "Things ha" come to a pretty pass, ye ken, if people are going to leave stuff like that aroound where innocent people could accidentally smash the door doon and lever the bars aside and take the big chain off "f the cupboard and pick the lock and drink it!" ~Rob Anybody
  52. "Pictsies seemed very hard to kill. Perhaps believing you were already dead made you immune." ~Terry Pratchett, The Wee Free Men
  53. "Ach, it"s a terrible thing for a man when his wumman gangs up on him wi" a toad." ~Rob Anybody
  54. "The problem with being evil, [the King of Demons]"d been forced to admit, was that demons were not great inventory thinkers and really needed the spice of human ingenuity." ~Terry Pratchett, Eric
  55. "Rincewind gave his fingers a long shocked stare, as one might regard a gun that has been hanging on the wall for decades and has suddenly gone off and perforated the cat." ~Terry Pratchett, Eric
  56. "Preeminent among Rincewind"s talents was his skill in running away, which over the years he had elevated to the status of a genuinely pure science; it didn"t matter if you were fleeing from or to, so long as you were fleeing. It was flight alone that counted. I run, therefore I am; more correctly, I run, therefore with any luck I"ll still be." ~Terry Pratchett, Eric
  57. "Multiple exclamation marks are a sure sign of a diseased mind." ~Rincewind
  58. "This is not the time for hurtful sarcasm." ~Ron Stoppable
  59. "Normal dates are for people who have no imagination." ~Tom Sloane
  60. "I"ve been tryign to get people to bootleg this show; no takers." ~Jon Stewart
  61. "I like it when you"re deluded; you"re much easier to deal with." ~Jill Taylor
  62. "We don"t mind being chased by giant birds, we just wanna know why." ~Jason of Corinth
  63. "This is wrong, all wrong. And in definite need of repair!" ~Megavolt
  64. "If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put the foundations under them." ~Henry David Thoreau
  65. "Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it." ~Henry David Thoreau
  66. "What is the use of a house if you haven't got a tolerable planet to put it on?" ~Henry David Thoreau
  67. "Beware of all enterprises that require new clothes." ~Henry David Thoreau
  68. "How many a man has dated a new era in his life from the reading of a book." ~Henry David Thoreau
  69. "Wear the old coat and buy the new book." ~Austin Phelps
  70. "I've never known any trouble that an hour's reading didn't assuage." ~Charles De Secondat
  71. "There is no mistaking a real book when one meets it. It"s like falling in love." ~Christopher Morley
  72. "Most new books are forgotten within a year, especially by those who borrow them." ~Evan Esar
  73. "A room without books is like a body without a soul." ~G.K. Chesterton
  74. "Where is human nature so weak as in the bookstore?" ~Henry Ward Beecher
  75. "Never judge a book by its movie." ~J. W. Eagan
  76. "Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it." ~P.J. O"Rourke
  77. "To be a book-collector is to combine the worst characteristics of a dope fiend with those of a miser." ~Robertson Davies
  78. "I aimed at the public's heart, and by accident I hit it in the stomach." ~Upton Sinclair on The Jungle
  79. "If I hide myself wherever I go, am I ever really there?" ~BNL, "For You"
  80. "If I hold my tongue, I"ll never lose my voice." ~BNL, "Upside Down"
  81. "If there"s one thing I know, it"s how a vapid, shallow mind works." ~Duck Dodgers
  82. "An angry little Englishman with a boat." ~Kenny on Sir Francis Drake
  83. "If I can just get you passed the hard part, the rest will be easy." ~Mr. Marburger
  84. "Honestly, I feel like I got a 4...Combined." ~Gary on the AP Physics test
  85. "Hallelujah! Don"t. Move." ~Ricky
  86. "We"re gonna be floating on what"s left of the trombone section in cold water." ~Mr. Keech
  87. "I wanted to be a writer-performer like the Pythons. In fact I wanted to be John Cleese and it took me some time to realize that the job was in fact taken." ~Douglas Adams
  88. "Despite the fact that they would always completely ignore me whenever we went on our walks together, they couldn"t just go and have a walk without me. This revealed a profoundly philosophical bent in these dogs that were not mine, because they had worked out that I had to be there in order for them to be able to ignore me properly. You can"t ignore someone who isn"t there, because that"s not what "ignore" means." ~Douglas Adams
  89. "It"s an odd feeling, actually typing "qwerty" as a word; try it, and you"ll see what I mean." ~Douglas Adams
  90. "We are stuck with technology when what we really want is just stuff that works. How do you recognize something that is still technology? A good clue is if it comes with a manual." ~Douglas Adams
  91. "The reason we had no idea how cats worked was because, since Newton, we had proceeded by the very simple principle that essentially, to see how things work, we took them apart. If you try to take a cat apart to see how it works, the first thing you have in your hands is a nonworking cat." ~Douglas Adams
  92. "I get very worried about this idea of art. Having been an English literary graduate, I"ve been trying to avoid the idea of doing art every since. I think the idea of art kills creativity. That was one of the reasons I wanted to go and do a CD-ROM: because nobody will take it seriously, and therefore you can sneak under the fence with lots of good stuff." ~Douglas Adams
  93. "Odd thing about being a private detective"you spend your time finding out little things about other people that nobody else knows, but then you discover that there are all sorts of things that everybody else knows about you, which you don"t." ~Dirk Gently
  94. "Viewed in a certain light, the entire structure of [Dirk Gently"s] adult life could be seen as a means of avoiding opening his bank statements. Someone else"s bank statements"now that was a different matter. He was never happier than when poring over someone else"s bank statements: he always found them to be rich in colour and narrative drive, particularly if he"d had to steam them open. But the prospect of opening his own gave him the screaming heebie-jeebies." ~Douglas Adams, The Salmon of Doubt
  95. "Solutions nearly always come from the direction you least expect, which means there"s no point trying to look in that direction because it won"t be coming from there." ~Douglas Adams, The Salmon of Doubt
  96. "At the end of all this being-determined-to-be-a-jack-of-all-trades, I think I"m better off just sitting down and putting a hundred thousand words in a cunning order." ~Douglas Adams
  97. "A Chug-A-Freeze would really give me the will to live right now..." ~Tino Tonitini
  98. "Why think about it when you can do the math?" ~My Chem discussion instructor
  99. "Wow, man, that"s [messed] up." ~My Chem discussion instructor on a very large answer
  100. "You can"t have footnotes in a video." ~The guy who stood in while my Women in Antiquity professor was in Greece

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