Quotes (Page 10)!

  1. "And the forecast for tonight is Perky." ~Cassandra on Helen of Troy
  2. "I'm going to make the stupid decision because I don't want to look bad in front of myself. Try explaining that to anyone who hasn't had a couple of drinks." ~Commander Samuel Vimes
  3. "I'm gonna go out on a limb here and predict that my dear nephew blows it. Badly." ~Hades
  4. "When Mr. Safety Catch Is Not On, Mister Crossbow Is Not Your Friend." ~what Commander Samuel Vimes told Sergeant Detritus about Mister Safety Catch
  5. "Open mouth, Insert hoof." ~Hermes to Philoctetes
  6. "Someone was slicing toward young Sam; Vimes brought a sword down on the arm in true self-defense." ~Terry Pratchett, Night Watch
  7. "I'm hugely confused, Ted." ~Father Dougal Maguire
  8. "He's mortal. Obnoxious, but mortal." ~Hercules on Adonis
  9. "My patience is starting to wear…it's out! BOOM! No more patience!" ~Hades
  10. "I'm going to reach inside and get in touch with your SPLEEN…!" ~Dragaunus
  11. "Old Trek actors never die, they just do voices on 'Gargoyles.'" ~Lori Summers
  12. " I really don't know, but whatever it is, I'm glad its there." ~Ashley in response to "What is it about a man in uniform?"
  13. "By the way, they're actually renaming France 'Freedom'." ~Jon Stewart
  14. "There are eight levels of wizardry on the Disc; after sixteen years Rincewind has failed to achieve even level one. I n fact it is the consideration of some of his tutors that he is incapable even of achieving level zero, which most normal people are born at; to put it another way, it has been suggested that when Rincewind dies the average occult ability of the human race will actually go up by a fraction." ~Terry Pratchett, Sourcery
  15. "…to call his understanding of magical theory abysmal is to leave no suitable word to describe his grasp of its practice." ~One of Rincewind's tutors
  16. "It is at a time like this, with Rincewind and Conina probably about to be the victims of a murderous attack, and Coin about to address the assembled cowering wizards on the subject of treachery, and the Disc about to fall under a magical dictatorship, that it is worth mentioning the subject of poetry and inspiration." ~Terry Pratchett, Sourcery
  17. "It has already been indicated that [Rincewind] had the kind of instinct for danger usually found only in certain small rodents, and it was currently battering on the side of his skull in an attempt to run away and hide somewhere." ~Terry Pratchett, Sourcery
  18. "In a truly magical universe everything has its opposite. For example, there's anti-light. That's not the same as darkness, because darkness is merely the absence of light. Anti-light is what you get if you pass through darkness and out the other side. On the same basis, a state of knurdness isn't like sobriety. By comparison, sobriety is like having a bath in cotton wool. Knurdness strips away all illusion, all the comforting pink fog in which people normally spend their lives, and lets them see and think clearly for the first time ever. Then, after they've screamed a bit, they make sure they never get knurd again." ~Terry Pratchett, Sourcery
  19. "Rincewind rather enjoyed times like this. They convinced him that he wasn't mad because, if he was mad, that left no word at all to describe some of the people he met." ~Terry Pratchett, Sourcery
  20. "Rincewind sighed. He liked lettuce. It was so incredibly boring. He had spent years in search of boredom, but had never achieved it. Just when he thought he had it in his grasp his life would suddenly become full of near-terminal interest. The thought that someone could voluntarily give up the prospect of being bored for fifty years made him feel quite weak." ~Terry Pratchett, Sourcery
  21. "The truth isn't easily pinned to a page. In the bathtub of history the truth is harder to hold than the soap, and much more difficult to find…" ~Terry Pratchett, Sourcery
  22. "Many people who had gotten to know Rincewind had come to treat him as a sort of two-legged miner's canary and tended to assume that if Rincewind was still upright and not actually running then some hope remained." ~Terry Pratchett, Sourcery
  23. "I do not see why I should hurt him. He looks so harmless. Like an angry rabbit." ~Coin on Rincewind
  24. "It didn't look like the kind of snow that whispers down gently in the pit of the night and in the morning turns the landscape into a glittering wonderland of uncommon and ethereal beauty. It looked like the kind of snow that intends to make the world as bloody cold as possible." ~Terry Pratchett, Sourcery
  25. "Are you alive? If you're not, I'd prefer it if you didn't answer." ~Rincewind
  26. "In Klatch they take their mythology seriously. It's only real life they don't believe." ~Terry Pratchett, Sourcery
  27. "Hope is the denial of reality. It is the carrot dangled before the draft horse to keep him plodding along in a vain attempt to reach it." ~Raistlin
  28. "I'll bet my beard that Tasslehoff's involved." ~Flint Fireforge
  29. "Sanity ended when we followed Tika into the kitchen of the Inn of the Last House." ~Tanis Half-Elven
  30. "Let me kill him. He's really beginning to irritate me." ~Mr. Leach on Data
  31. "A group is nothing more than a bunch of one persons together. Multiplied." ~Philoctetes
  32. "Daria’s stomach began doing things that internal organs shouldn’t do, especially if they were supposed to be hooked up as part of a system." ~The Lawndale Stalker, "The Unhighlander"
  33. "I am NOT a cartoon. I'm just dimensionally challenged." ~Rincewind
  34. "I'm all for dropping lawyers into any war time situation." ~Greg Proops
  35. "Any time your head explodes, that's not a good situation." ~Tom Arnold
  36. "Wheel of Fortune was an important SAT prep for me." ~Mo Rocca
  37. "I'm an indoors person. I'm not afraid of the outdoors and I penetrate it easily and cheerfully. However, I must admit I like Central Park better than the wilderness, and I like the canyons of Manhattan better than Central Park, and I like the interior of my apartment better than the canyons of Manhattan, and I like my two rooms better with the shades down at all times than with the shades up. I'm not an agoraphobe at all, but I am a claustrophile, if you see the distinction." ~Isaac Asimov
  38. "Have you met Colin? He's a...he's a freak is what he is." ~Greg Proops playing "Party Quirks"
  39. "Christmas means carnage!!!" ~Ferdinand the Duck
  40. "[We've layed all the {dagnab} pipe we could possibly need and more], Now the fun really begins!" ~Greg Weisman's version of the Archmage's line
  41. "Of course, Bronx is also useful as a kind of living personality test. If Bronx likes you, it's a [darn] good sign." ~Greg Weisman
  42. "Why should I bother with made-up games when there are so many real ones going on?" ~Dr. Felix Hoenikker
  43. "What Can a Thoughtful Man Hope for Mankind on Earth, Given the Experience of the Past Million Years? Nothing." ~The Fourteenth Book of Bokonon
  44. "Beware of the man who works hard to learn something, learns it, and finds himself no wiser than before. He is full of resentment of people who are ignorant without having come by their ignorance the hard way." ~Bokonon
  45. "'No,' Tanis agreed." ~Margaret Weis and Tracey Hickman, Dragons of Winter Night
  46. "Finding that you are dead is mitigated by also finding that there really is a you who can find you dead." ~Terry Pratchett, Guards! Guards!
  47. "We just checked in a bunch of new dead people and I've got to go see who needs doom-service." ~Hermes
  48. "Life is just chemicals. A drop here, a drip there, everything's changed." ~Terry Pratchett, Guards! Guards!
  49. "[Vimes] wondered whether there was, somewhere in that vast pantheon, a god who would look kindly on hard-pressed and fairly innocent law-enforcers who were quite definitely about to die." ~Terry Pratchett, Guards! Guards!
  50. "Ah, good man. Do you know anything about mating?" ~Lady Sybil Ramkin's first words to (then) Captain Samuel Vimes
  51. "[Errol] was also turning on Captain Vimes the most silently intelligent look he'd ever had from any animal, including Corporal Nobbs." ~Terry Pratchett, Guards! Guards!
  52. "Total whittle, Vimes thought. He wasn't sure of the precise meaning of the word, but he could hazard a shrewd guess. It sounded like whatever it was you had left when you had extracted everything of any value whatsoever. Like the Watch, he thought. Total whittles, every one of them." ~Terry Pratchett, Guards! Guards!
  53. "If you let your mind dwell on rooms like [Lady Sybil Ramkin's], you could end up being oddly sad and full of strange, diffuse compassion which would lead you to believe that it might be a good idea to wipe out the whole human race and start again with amoebas." ~Terry Pratchett, Guards! Guards!
  54. "No bloody flying newt sets fire to my city!…if anyone ever sets fire to this city, it's going to be me!" ~Captain Samuel Vimes
  55. "No swamp dragon could ever terrorize a kingdom, except by accident. Vimes wondered how many had been killed by enterprising heroes. It was terribly cruel to do something like that to creatures whose only crime was to blow themselves absent-mindedly to pieces in mid-air, which was not something any individual dragon made a habit of." ~Terry Pratchett, Guards! Guards!
  56. "Hey! You're laughing evilly!" ~Hercules
  57. "It wasn't the loneliness of command that was bothering him. It was the being fried-alive of command that was giving him problems." ~Terry Pratchett, Guards! Guards!
  58. "You mean set a deep hole with spring-loaded sides, trip-wires, whirling knife blades driven by water power, broken glass, and scorpions to catch a thief, Captain?" ~Sergeant Fred Colon
  59. "Vimes stalked gloomily through the crowded streets, feeling like the only pickled onion in a fruit salad." ~Terry Pratchett, Guards! Guards!
  60. "Stick to original evil plan or accept this new wrinkle in my life...hmm...Evil plan." ~Icarus
  61. "To his shame, Vimes realized that his legs were going to have nothing to do with a mad dash to drag [Lady Sybil] back. His pride didn't like that, but his body pointed out that it wasn't his pride that stood a reasonable chance of being thinly laminated to the nearest building." ~Terry Pratchett, Guards! Guards!
  62. "Sweet Apollo on a flaming chariot…!" ~Daedalus
  63. "If there was anything that depressed [Vimes] more than his own cynicism, it was that quite often it still wasn't as cynical as real life." ~Terry Pratchett, Guards! Guards!
  64. "There was practically nothing the dragon could do to people that they had not, sooner or later, tried on one another, often with enthusiasm." ~Terry Pratchett, Guards! Guards!
  65. You have the effrontery to be squeamish. But we were dragons. We were supposed to be cruel, cunning, heartless, and terrible. But this much I can tell you, you ape - we never burned and tortured and ripped one another apart and called it morality. ~The Dragon of Guards! Guards!
  66. "…you know we've all got alcohol in our bodies…sort of natural alcohol? Even if you never touch a drop in your life, your body sort of makes it anyway…but Captain Vimes, see, he's one of those people whose body doesn't do it naturally. Like, he was born two drinks below normal….so when he's sober, he's really sober. Knurd, they call it. You know how you feel when you wake up if you've been [drunk] all night, Nobby? Well, he feels like that all the time." ~Sergeant Fred Colon
  67. "Say what you liked about Captain Vimes, he'd had style. It was cynical, black-nailed style, but he'd had it and [the rest of the Watch] didn't. He could read long words and add up. Even that was style, of a sort. He even got drunk in style." ~Terry Pratchett, Guards! Guards!
  68. "The people united can never be ignited." ~Sergeant Fred Colon
  69. "I wish Captain Vimes were here. He wouldn't have known what to do either, but he's got a much better vocabulary to be baffled in." ~Sergeant Fred Colon
  70. "Never build a dungeon you wouldn't be happy to spend the night in yourself. The world would be a happier place if more people remembered that." ~Lord Havelock Vetinari
  71. "Vimes lowered the ape, who wisely didn't make an issue of it because a man angry enough to lift 300lbs of orangutan without noticing is a man with too much on his mind." ~Terry Pratchett, Guards! Guards!
  72. "I believe you find life such a problem because you think there are the good people and the bad people. You're wrong, of course. There are, always and only, the bad people, but some of them are on opposite sides." ~Lord Havelock Vetinari to Captain Samuel Vimes
  73. "Anyway, what was there to be afraid of? [Vimes]'d stared into the jaws of death three times; four if you counted telling Lord Vetinari to shut up." ~Terry Pratchett, Guards! Guards!
  74. "But I felt/feel that would cheapen the moment. Cheapen the sacrifice. We sent our heroes into battle. And in battle, there are casualties. Some things are worth fighting for, but if we don't understand costs, then I want people to know that when something isn't worth fighting over, they shouldn't." ~Greg Weisman
  75. "JALAPEÑA - Goliath says it like a curse word when he realizes that [Angela and Gabriel] are being followed. That was how I wanted to use it. As I've mentioned before, the art staff eventually threatened a coup if I didn't drop it. But if I ever get to do Gargoyles 2198, I'm bringing it back. That's a threat, not a promise." ~Greg Weisman
  76. "Memo to me. Maim you after my meeting." ~Hades
  77. "The son of my hated rival trapped forever in a river of death. Is there a downside to this?" ~Hades
  78. "When I'm with you, I don't feel so...alone." ~Hercules to Megara
  79. "You are a scholar, are you not? Judging by your large forehead and diminished features, you are suited for nothing else!" ~Princess Kidagakash to Milo Thatch
  80. "I consider myself an even-tempered man. It takes a lot to get under my skin. But, congratulations. You just won the solid gold Kewpie doll." ~Rourke to Milo Thatch
  81. "I doubt everything, even my own doubts" ~Scientist in an episode of Star Trek: Voyager
  82. "But the thing was that good boots lasted for years and years. A man who could afford fifty dollars had a pair of boots that'd still be keeping his feet dry in ten year's time, while a poor man who could only afford cheap boots would have spent a hundred dollars on boots in the same time and would still have wet feet." ~The Captain Samuel Vimes "Boots" theory of socioeconomic unfairness
  83. "Pride is all very well, but a sausage is a sausage." ~Gaspode
  84. "That was the thing about death. When it happened to you, you were among the first to know." ~Terry Pratchett, Men at Arms
  85. "Don't stick your nose where someone can pull it off and eat it." ~Sergeant Fred Colon
  86. "No clowns were funny. That was the whole purpose of a clown. People laughed at clowns, but only out of nervousness. The point of clowns was that, after watching them, anything else that happened seemed enjoyable." ~Terry Pratchett, Men at Arms
  87. "Funny how I never feel really alive until someone tries to kill me." ~Captain Samuel Vimes
  88. "[Colon]'d got used to simple Carrot. Complicated Carrot was as unnerving as being savaged by a duck." ~Terry Pratchett, Men at Arms
  89. "When you're swinging a spiky ball on a chain, the only realistic option is to keep moving. Standing still is an interesting but brief demonstration of a spiral in action." ~Terry Pratchett, Men at Arms
  90. "Nine in the morning? What sort of time is that to get up? I don't normally get up until the afternoon's got the shine worn off!" ~Captain Samuel Vimes
  91. "He wasn't exactly an atheist, because atheism was a non-survival on a world with several thousand gods. He just didn't like any of them very much…" ~Terry Pratchett, Men at Arms
  92. "Carrot had been behind that, sure enough. Vimes had grown to recognize that blindness to the position of 'i's and 'e's and than wonton cruelty to the common comma." ~Terry Pratchett, Men at Arms
  93. "You put down your rock and I'll put down my sword, and we'll both kill each other like civilized people?" ~The Dread Pirate Roberts
  94. "It's not that bad.... I'm not saying I'd like to build a summer home here, but the trees are actually quite lovely." ~Wesley
  95. "Hey, perpetual night... I like it." ~Marshall on "The Plagues"
  96. "What good are images if people understand them?" ~Jon Stewart
  97. "Of all the hatreds, the ones among families are the cruelest." ~Flint Fireforge
  98. "Amazing t'ing, trouble. Always I go lookin' for trouble, an' when I find it people say it ain't dere." ~Constable Detritus
  99. "And while it was regarded as pretty good evidence of criminality to be living in a slum, for some reason owning a whole street of them merely got you invited to the very best social occasions." ~Terry Pratchett, Feet of Clay
  100. "It's never too soon to contemplate eternal damnation, sir." ~Constable Visit-the-Infidels-with-Explanatory-Pamphlets

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