Jake Wham and me, in happier days, before he told
me the dark and evil truth about the Eifel Tower that would forever change my life.
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Bethy51522: make it stop
whamalicious: make what stop?
Bethy51522: the work
whamalicious: ah
whamalicious: well, if you were to take your book and throw it in a fire, problem solved
whamalicious: of course, you would have to work to build the fire first, so maybe not
whamalicious: next idea
Bethy51522: moving on
whamalicious: throw the book of a very high place, such as the eifel tower
whamalicious: and then it will hit the ground and break
whamalicious: wait, that is in italy, wont work
whamalicious: next idea
Bethy51522: the eifel tower?
Bethy51522: jake wham
Bethy51522: that is in paris.
whamalicious: the real eifel tower is in italy
Bethy51522: oh really
whamalicious: there is a conspiracy to not let anyone know about this
Bethy51522: oh, i see
Bethy51522: i was totally unaware...
whamalicious: but i found out through my special secret connections
whamalicious: yea, dont feel bad, its very secretive
Bethy51522: jake wham, tell me about this conspiracy theory
whamalicious: ok
whamalicious: well, at first they tried to build it in paris, but of course,
the french are very stupid people, and it fell over and killed thousands
whamalicious: then, the italians, being the jerks that they are,
stole the idea of the eifel tower, and built it themselves off the coast of sicily
whamalicious: this works very well, becuase while they tell you that
sicily is just of the coast of italy, it is in fact, somewhere north of
greenland, unmapped
whamalicious: the french were very upset about this, because their brilliant
idea was taken from them by the italians
whamalicious: thus, they created images showing the tower within the city limits,
to make the world think that they had successfully built the tower
whamalicious: then, they also swore that they would burn down the real tower in sicilly
whamalicious: but because the french are very stupid, they are still looking for the island
whamalicious: and greenland has sworn not to tell the italians,
because their food always gives them heartburn
whamalicious: end of story