~|Cantore House, October 5, 1997, 6:34pm|~

"Where do you want to go?" My father roared.
"A concert!"
"It's just some kids from school." Matt assured.
"What kind of kids?"
"Daddy please? Please?" I got on my knees. "I wanna go, REALLY BAD"
"Lilly…" He shook his head.
"It can't be that bad." My mom rationalized. "Matt will take care of her."

"I don't know." He eyed Matt wearing baggy jeans and a t-shirt that clung to his small frame. Matt looked hot. But in my father's eyes he looked like a delinquent. I didn't even know why he let me date him, but it was probably something to do with the fact that Matt's mom ran the bible school and his dad was the church gardener. Religion is an automatic 'A' in daddy's book.

"Please dad, we'll be home before 11, I promise, I swear to God!"
"Lil…"

I pleaded with my eyes, making them as big and blue as I possibly could. Not that I could actually make them bluer. He nodded, slowly.

"Can I? Is that a yes?" I couldn't hide my excitement, I bounced in my keds. I was going to piss my pants in ecstaticism, if that's a word.
He nodded again. "Yes. Matthew I want my daughter back here before 11:30pm, no later or I will skin you alive do you hear me?"
"Yes, sir, Lilly will be home on time, you have my word." Matt saluted my father as I bounced for the door.

"Lilly?" I spun around, great, he was gonna send me to a convent.

"Yes, daddy?"
"How are you getting there?"
"Uh, Matt has his mom's car." No, daddy don't ruin this.
"You were going to get in a car with a boy?" Please, please, please don't.
"Daddy, c'mon…"
"Lilly…you know the rule…" I plead with my eyes again. Daddy sighed. "What kind of car?"
"It's a Caravan." Matt answered almost rolling his eyes, he hated being seen in it. minivans were the kiss of death to teenage boys. Especially closeted gay ones.
"A VAN?!" He yelled. "No absolutely not, get Luke to drive you." He ruined it.
"Daddy!?"
"NO Lilly." He held firm.

I sighed and look hopelessly at Matt.

Ten minutes later I was stuffed in Luke's backseat with R. Kelly playing through the speakers. I groaned. This really really sucked. I had this vision of me climbing out of the Camaro and tripping and falling on my face in front of Paul. Then he'd see Luke and hear the R. Kelly and make fun of me. 'Badass Lilly got dropped off in a pimpmobile.' My brother was a wannabe, and it was a drag. A major drag.

The club looked really cool. I'd only been to one other concert it was New Kids on the Block when I was 10. There was a few kids outside milling around. The cool crowd. The ones who went to 'shows.' Band kids. I was really really excited.

"Lil, you okay?" Matt patted my shoulder.
"Uh huh" I grinned. "Okay, Luke, drop us here, we'll be fine."
"Naw, Lil, I gotta park."
"WHAT?! You don't have to baby-sit us Luke. You know I'm not gonna go giving my virginity away to Matt."
"Yeah I know, not the point. Do you see those kids? You're not like them Lilly." He said. "I won't let you go in alone."
"I'm not alone, I'm with Matt."

Luke laughed. I've never been so angry with him and with my dad. This was so unfair. We were gonna have to lose him. I tried making signals to Matt, but I don't think he understood them. He just cocked his head sympathetically. How was I gonna garner Paul's attention when I was attached to Elton John and the white R.Kelly? Wait, don't answer that.

We made our way inside, Luke trailing us a breath away. Matt grinned at me. Telling me it was okay. But I far from believed him.

~|Skidrow, St. Charles,MD, 8:06pm|~

I know that they weren't the greatest band in the world, but I was having the best time. I've known Paul played guitar before and that he played bass now and I remember his piano lessons, but I never actually saw him play. He was hot when he played. Like really amazing hot. I was afraid I was gonna drool on the kid in front of me. Luke kept his distance, but he wasn't more then arms length and one wrong move from anybody and I was so getting pulled out of there.

I lost Matt sometime between the 3rd and 4th song, which seemed odd since there wasn't that many kids here. Everyone who was here was here to see Pyromania. I'd heard of them once before. They had a 'reputation'. Drinking debauchery. It was lies, but it didn't stop kids from believing it. Anyway, Paul's band was gonna play first for like half hour and then it was Pyro. I really didn't care about seeing them.

Joel was really nervous. He kept turning his face away and shutting his eyes. Poor kid, I bet he'd never had to be in front of such a crowd before. The audience kept heckling them the entire set, but I didn't think it was so bad. They were even kinda catchy. Billy was pretty good and even Benjahole seemed to be alright. There was a group of giggling girls by the barricade. Brenda Sweeney, Michelle Welch, and their cliquey little friends. Benji and Joel's girlfriends. I thought of going over there. I mean at least I knew them. Michelle and Brenda were both in my grade, and I don't know why they went out with Benji and Joel. I don't even know how Joel actually talks to his "girlfriend," he never says ANYTHING.

Their set ended with what I guess was supposed to be this long "jam". It was laugh worthy and the audience so wasn't feeling it (some guys through peanut shells at them). I felt bad for them, but I clapped and cheered enthusiastically. As the crowd moved, I ducked and moved towards Michelle and Brenda. Hopefully losing Luke for a bit.

"Hey…Lilly?" Michelle waved. "I didn't know you even liked Good Charlotte."
"Oh, well Billy invited me."
"You know Billy?" Brenda asked, shocked.
"That kid is so strange." Michelle rolled her eyes. "Oh my God, Bren, is that Kathryn?"

I felt so out of place. Kathryn is Benji's ex-girlfriend, but apparently Brenda doesn't care because she and Benji aren't going out anymore, but she cared, it was obvious. It was really weird to be a girl. I felt like I was gonna do the wrong thing. Where was Matt when you needed him? He knew how to be a girl.

"I'm gonna go to the bathroom." I said and started walking away.
"Do you want us to go with you?" Brenda shouted over the starting music. Okay, that's just weird.
I shook my head. "No, that's okay." Get away from me you girls.

Where was Matt? I walked down the hall towards the bathroom, the same hall the stage emptied into. Benji and Joel were spilling out, a beer bottle latched into each of their hands, Joel's just condensing in his hand and Benji's attached to his lips.

"Hey it's Lil-Leeeeeee!" Benji laughed.

I spun and avoided him, ducking right into the restroom. The men's restroom!

"Lil, what are you doing in here?!" Matt was washing his hands and spun to push me out.

We came through the door and I was face to face with Paul. His dark hair slightly matted against his face with sweat. A very surprised and nervous grin on his face. His eyes shone slightly, but it might be the lighting.

"Hi Lilly." He managed to wave.
"Lilly!?" Luke was a few steps behind him. "Where the hell were you?" He raged.
"Uh, 'scuse me Lil." Paul motioned to the bathroom door behind us. I smiled nervously and stepped aside.
"Lilly, what were you doing in there?"
I shook my head. "Nothing, it was a mistake."

Luke threw up his hands and ushered me away. I was such a dumbshit. I followed Luke and Matt blindly through the crowd. I was such a freaking dumbshit dork. We went to the bar and got soda's. Luke was busy talking to the bartender about a football game and Matt and I were silent.

"So where were yo—" I started to ask Matt.
"Hi Lilly." Joel still had the beer in his hand, which I don't think he drank, and he was joined with Michelle.
"Wh-hoa, he speaks." I said.
Joel blushed, shiest kid in the world, he was never going to have sex or get married. (maybe we can be friends) "B-Billy said he invited you. It was nice you showed up. Or…or did you come to see Pyro?"
I almost said I came to see Paul, but instead said, "I came to see Good Charlotte."
"You guys were pretty good." Matt smiled at Joel. Joel just blushed.

Michelle was quiet, I guess some things are meant to be. I spotted Benji across the room, holding Kathryn's hand, while Brenda sulked nearby. Are girls really fighting over HIM? There must be something I don't see. I shrugged. I couldn't find Paul anywhere in the room and my heart dropped. I felt like a moron. What did I think was gonna happen with my boyfriend and brother right next to me?

Nothing, that's what.