"Get up Lilly." One of my older brothers was practically on top of me. "It's 7:30 munchkin."

I growled in response. Doesn't he know how to leave me alone? School wasn't for another 45 minutes. I had time. I could be dressed and out the door in 15 minutes.

"LIL-LEE!!" he yelled in my ear.
"DAVE!!!!!!" I screamed back. "Get the fuck off of me you..you…backwater hick…I'm your sister!"
"Lilly!" my oldest brother Luke barged in. "C'mon I'll give you a ride to school."
"I don't want one leave me the hell alone."
"Hey. Ladies don't talk like that. Where'd you pick up that language?" Luke could be so bossy.
"You, retard. Leave me alone I need to get dressed."

Dave finally let me up from under him and he and Luke left the room. God, what is wrong with them? brothers.

I was dressed and fed in 25 minutes and Luke wouldn't let me out of his offered ride. Dave and my little brother, Pete, sat in the back of Luke's Camero and I got shotgun. Luke thought he was the shit with this car. He had about 400 girlfriends because of it, which was stupid. You have a cool car let's make out, how moronic. Do girls really act like that? I mean why? For the love of God why? He won't let you drive it.

"Can I drive Luke?" I asked but knew the answer.
"No." It was the same one I got from my parents about their station wagon. I'd been 16 for months. I had a permit, but I think I might never have a license. No one lets me near a car. True I ran into the Thomas' tree with my dad's truck, but I was 15 then, this was completely different.

"What were you and Paul Thomas doing yesterday?"
"Huh?"
"Fat Paul from down the street? Lilly you don't hang out with him do you?" Pete was an ideal little brother really.
"Lilly was in his car, I saw her." Luke's jaw set.
"He..he gave me a ride home."
"Why?" Dave had an 'I'm gonna kill' face. "Did he touch you Lil?"
"Yeah, my hand as he shook it. Jesus Christ, lighten up." I crossed my arms…brothers ruin everything.
"I don't like it Lilly. You can't trust boys. Why would Paul just give you a ride out of the blue? He can only be after one thing…"

They worried way too much about me getting raped in the back seat of someone's car. My brother's were very aware of Matt's gayness, so they felt they had nothing to fear with him, but if anyone else so much as glanced…they were dead. I can just imagine one of my brother's approaching Paul at school.

"Look, maybe you're a horny bastard but Paul isn't like that, ok. He was just being nice."
"Yeah right."
"Just drop it."

We had arrived at school and I was extremely grateful to get away from all 3 of them. I hoisted my back pack and got out of the car.

"Lilly.." Luke called to me like a parent warning their child.
"What?"
"Just…Don't trust boys, okay."

Fuck you, I thought. I'll trust whoever I want. I was completely positive Paul wasn't trying to get in my pants. He didn't care about what was in my pants because I was like his brother. I wasn't a girl or a sex object. I was just Lilly.

I hated taking off my carefully picked dirty shirt and changing into the ridiculous PE uniform. I hated PE period. Running, jumping, kicking…not really my cup of tea. I'd rather be in English. Worse was Jon had PE the same period.

Now Jon was my friend and had been since about 4th grade, but the more we grew up the more I didn't like hanging out with him. All he cared about were girls. Don't get me wrong. I loved girls. With their curves and their hair and the way they smelled, they all smelled so good, but I wasn't really the pick of the litter and I didn't feel I needed to stalk them.

I guess that's what boys my age are supposed to do. Jon does it. Joel definitely does it. Benji does it. Billy doesn't, but Billy's kinda weird. Aaron…well Aaron got way more action than any of us ever had. It didn't even help that we were in a band, like Benji said it would.

"Yo, Pauly." Jon stuffed his backpack into the locker next to mine." Did you talk to the beautiful Lilly?"
"A little."
"And?"
"And what?"
"Will she go out with me?"
"Dude, you know she has a boyfriend right?"
"What? Matt? Please, that guy's so queer."
"She still goes out with him. Maybe Lilly's into pretty boys, you'd never have a chance." I laughed.
"Neither would you?" Jon retorted.
"Yeah, but I'm not trying."

Jon rolled his eyes and sighed.

"Come ON, Paul. Lilly is hot, you know it. I know you know it." Jon pushed. "Come on, Pauly, admit it. Admit you want Lilly. You wouldn't mind a little Lilly lovin'."

"Stop it." Someone screamed. "Please guys, STOP!!"

We ran around the corner in time to see Todd and his cronies pushing a figure against the shower walls. When it screamed again I recognized it as my friend Joel. The jocks felt compelled to mess with him endlessly. He screamed loudly and someone brushed past Jon and I towards Joel and the 3 bigger boys.

"Leave him the fuck alone." It was Benji, Joel's twin brother.
"You want some too?" Kyle, an over large red-head asked Benji, holding something in his hands.
"What are you DOING??" Benji all but screamed.

I noticed Joel's PE shorts were at his ankles. What kind of sick prank were they pulling? Why would they take Joel's pants off??

"Make them stop, Benj," Joel wailed.
"Make them stop, Benj." Todd mimicked. "What a big fucking baby."
"I think he likes it, Todd." Rick, the other one, laughed maniacally.

I sneered and ran to help Benji, but Jon caught my collar.

"What are you doing, dude?" Jon looked at me incredulously
"Helping Joel and Benj."
"But dude…"
"Those are my friends! I'm not gonna let some homo jocks mess with them." I tore out of Jon's hand and ran to help.

Benji was getting red in the face and clenching his hands into fists, but they just laughed at him. When I was closer I finally noticed that Joel was completely exposed from the waist down and that Kyle had a tube of bengay in his hands. Those sick fucks. I pushed Todd away from Joel and leaned down to help him.

Todd, Kyle and Rick backed off, figuring that this was more trouble than it was worth and that Joel'd be alone somewhere else one day anyway. Benji was way too pissed, he wasn't going to let them get away with it, he went for the biggest jock there was and hit him in the back of the head.

"What the fuck?" Kyle turned around.
"You think you can mess with my brother?" Benji yelled.
"What are you gonna do about it, shorty pants?"

I helped Joel up and he pulled his pants back on. You can tell he'd been crying a little, but he turned his head so I wouldn't see. I stood next to Benji.

"You guys wanna play with the big boys?" Rick taunted.
"At least we don't like playing with other dude's dicks." I retorted.

I probably shouldn't have said that, but what was I gonna do about it now. It was on.

He was sitting with his moron friends, those Combs twins. I fucking hated those guys, for being made fun of so much you'd think they'd lay off me. Looks like they had gotten into it again. Benji was nursing a black eye. His brother looked depressed, but he kinda always did.

I always forgot that kid's name, but then, he didn't say much. He used to follow Kaylie Meyer around and like carry her books, so sad. Still if I was hot I might think about having minions to carry my books. I bet Paul would never hold my books, let alone my hand.

I wonder if he remembered Jamie Peters birthday party in 7th grade. A couple of us went into the shed. We were twelve, sheds with other girls and boys sounded really interesting and full of excitement. We didn't know until after we got there that it was really just full of junk, bugs and dust. The point is 8 kids in a shed meant spin the bottle. Paul spun second and I know he only did it cause Jon had pushed him. he got me. he tried to kiss me and I punched him.

I hope he didn't hold that against me.

I was going through the whole change. I'd gotten boobs over the summer and just had my first period, boys were still icky, but now they stared at me. gross! "Get away from me chubby!" I shouted, then with my "fist of Fury"(as my brothers called it) punched him across the cheek.

"Hey Lil!" Ethan called across the cafeteria. He motioned to the empty seat next to him.

Oh God, NO. Where was my "boyfriend" when you needed him. He must be late from art, again. Gays!

"Hi, Lilly." It was Billy dreadlocks, veggie man himself. I bet he hated me, but he WAS smiling.
"Hey."
"So are you gonna go?" he was standing next to me.
"Go where?"
"Paul didn't ask you?" He looked perplexed.
"He asked me if I wanted a ride home and gave me one."

Billy laughed lightly.

"No, our show."
"A show?"
"We're playing at Skidrow on Paul's birthday."
"Really?"
"You should totally come."
"I don't…"
"Hey Lil." Matt rested his hand on my shoulder. He stared at Billy. "Who's this?"
"Billy." I answered plainly.
"HI, Billy, I'm Matt…Lilly's boyfriend.
"Oh, you have a boyfriend?"

I shrugged.

"Uh, well you can both come, I guess."
"Come to what?" Matt looked at me with question.
"The band's playing on Paul's birthday."
"Sounds great we'll be there!" Matt answered for me before I could refuse.

Billy stalked away happily. I hit Matt.

"What's wrong with you?!"
"Hey, I'm being a good friend and getting you closer to Pauly boy. How'd detention go?" he smiled happily.
"I got sent to see Miz B."
"Fuck, why?" Matt sneered as we took a table.
"I punched Asshole Combs."
"The cute one?"
"No, the other one."
"Oh." Matt took a big bite of his burger. "So, when's Paul's big day?"
"October 5th."

I was gonna make a fool of myself at this concert. I just knew I was. I'd do or say something really stupid. Something that would make Paul completely disgusted with me. Someone should just shoot me now.

"Whatcha gonna give him for a sweet 16 present?" Matt's eyebrows wagged.

Or maybe it'd be good. Maybe we get a moment alone and I'd confess all my feelings and we'd live happily ever…who am I kidding?

"We gotta make you hot for this concert." Matt pointed out. "Paul can't see any other hoes in the building, just you."
"I'm not going."
"Not going? You can't not go."
"I can and I'm not. There's no reason for me to go."
"You being in love with him isn't good enough."

I looked at Paul across the lunchroom with the Combs', Jon, Billy, and Aaron. He looked so cute and sweet. I bit my lip and sighed.

"So?" Matt asked. "Are we going?"

I sighed again and shut my eyes.

"We're going." I nodded.