Benji shut the door behind us and I kissed him again. He held me close to his body and returned my kiss. Then he pulled back, becoming awkward.

My mind reeled at the loss of his lips on mine.

"Benji, what’s the matter?"
"I've dreamt about this." He said plainly, bluntly the way a child speaks.

I grinned and blushed.

"Me too."
"This was never platonic was it?" Benji stared into my eyes, his own were wide and honest.
"There's no such thing right?" I murmured, pressing my lips to his.

He pulled me against him and kissed back, trailing away from my lips and down my neck and shoulders. He slipped the straps of my bra down, but didn't take it off. His lips crashed upon mine again, I stood up and slid my pants down. Benji stood up and led me to his bed, and I allowed him to lay me down on his bed. He was lying so close that I could feel his heart beating a furious rumba against his ribs.

Months ago, I'd lain here as his willing pet. But this time I knew I'd follow through; there would be no stopping, there would be no crying.

Benji pushed me gently till I was lying on my stomach, my back exposed to him. He straddled the base of my spine, his weight pressing, in a good way. He carefully unhooked my bra and kissed the exposed flesh of my back and shoulders. He moved his body down mine, feathering his lips down my spine, stopping at the band of my underwear. He unstraddled me and spanked me lightly.

"Roll over." He instructed.

I obeyed.

My bra was loose but still covering my breasts. Holding either side of my hips, Benji slid my underwear down my legs and off my body. He came back up and lifted the bra off my arms. He buried his face between my naked breasts and showered them with kisses. He took my right breast between his moist lips and flicked the tip with his tongue, making me writhe. He then moved to the left one and did the same thing. My head rolled back with pleasure.

He moved back up my body, lips finding mine again.

This time I took control and pushed him till he was lying on his back. Benji smiled. I ran my hands over him, massaging his body. I thrust my hand into his boxers and he groaned in a mix of surprise and excitement. He uttered a guttural moan as my hand found him.

He was already painfully hard, and I jerked my hand over it firmly, earning a strangled groan from somewhere low inside.

He breathed in sharply.

"Jessa!" he moaned out my name.

I moved down until my lips touched the tip of his penis. His body jerked when I made tiny circles on the tip of it with my tongue. I let my whole mouth close around it and slid down as far as I could take it, hearing his gasp of approval. I bobbed my head on it up and down many times, Benji groaning loudly.

"I wanna taste you." he said, barely audibly.
"Do you now?" I held back a moment and he seized control once again. Tossing me on the bed and letting his lips wander down my body, until he reached that soft, most secret part of me.

His piercings grazed my lips, but his tongue moved faster over me to make me writhe with pleasure.

I tangled my hands in the bed sheets. "Oh Benji!"
"You like this?" he asked, I could FEEL him smiling.
"Mmmmmm, yes. Yes, yes, oh God."

He continued, using his fingers to further my pleasure. I moaned his name over and over, him telling me how good it sounded coming from my lips.

Benji kissed me THERE and around my inner thighs. He trailed his lips up my stomach, stopping and suckling on my breasts, once again. When he was kissing my neck he whispered in my ear, flicking his hot tongue against it as he told me what he wanted to do.

Naughty things he wanted to do with me, to me. It made me hot.

"I'm all wet, Benji."
"Do you want me?"
"I want you, Benj. I want you inside me."

He began to mount me but didn't enter. Instead, he slowly rubbed his tip over me, making me tingle with consciousness.

I bit my lip.

"Don’t tease me." I pleaded.
"Tell me what you want?" he continued.
"I want to feel you inside me, Benji, I want you to ride me."

Obviously satisfied, he pushed his entire length inside me and I stretched my mouth wide in a silent moan of appreciation.

Harder, faster, he went, riding me, pushing himself deep inside of me. Fucking my brains, out as the saying goes. I grabbed at the sheets and bit my lip as he moved himself even deeper inside me.

I surprised myself. I wasn't the least bit shy. Not with Benji. I didn't hesitate to touch him and feel him and taste him, the way I wanted. I was so used to being docile, meek, especially for our first time together. But this was different. This was Benji. I wanted him to see and feel the way I was feeling. To know this was more than sex, more than feeling, more than emotion, it was making love.

Every move he made sent fire to my soul. My body was alive with a hundred tiny circuits, juicing up, pulsing. I didn't want to believe that it was the built up tention that made it feel this way. It wasn't the fact that I hadn't had sex in over a year it was because Benji was THAT GOOD.

He made me feel so good. The heavy feeling of sex was replaced with the light glow of love. The slight fear I used to feel before penetration was only antisipation. And the usual pain was barely a pinch. He wasn't being tender or soft. He was excited but it's okay cause that’s how I wanted him.

"Oh God, Benji, don't stop. Don't stop." I moaned wantonly.
"You like it, baby?" he grinned, thrusting in and out in a fluid motion.
"Oh, yeah, you're a God Benji. You fuck me so good."
"Yeah," he moaned as he began to climax. "Aahhhh, fuck yeah."
"Say my name, Benji, I want my name on your lips when you come." I watched his face intently. “I want to know that it was ME that made you feel this.” I continued.
"Jess-uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" His seed poured into me, oozing, hot, good, reaching every part of me.

He leaned down and kissed my cheeks. I sighed. I was still throbbing. I hadn't orgasmed in so long.

"God, Benji!"

I looked over at him and he grinned. He wrapped is arms around me and we lay in a sweaty embrace. He shut his eyes and kissed my forehead, breathing heavily, obviously exhausted.

"I love you." He said softly and kissed me again.

I smiled when he squeezed me.

He loved me, too. He loved me back.

It was true.
~~~
I groaned as her hand found my dick and she stroked it eagerly. God, it felt good. That touch of a woman on me…there. I'd been so long. There had been the stupid chicks on the road who came on to me and tried to fuck me in the green room and the attraction was there and I was horny enough, but it never happened. There was always a reason not to. Eventually I was afraid I'd forgotten what to do. It was safer for me to fuck myself, thinking about Christina Aguilera or Angelina Jolie.

It'd been too long I was reminded as Jessa brought her lips to me and sucked my softest most sensitive skin. I was going to lose it. Jessa sucking my dick, rubbing her hands on me, the thought was enough to make me come alone. But this wasn't a dream-Jessa, it was really her. it was really her between my legs running her wet tongue along the underside of my cock and leaning down further to lick my balls.

I thought I might shoot right then, when her lips made contact with me there, when I chanced a look down and watched her devour my skin and simply adore every minute. I could tell by the smile and the look she gave me. The look of a dirty wet girl that wanted to be fucked, hard.

"I wanna taste you." I groaned and I did desperately want to taste her like she tasted me.
"Do you now?" She took her mouth from me and I seized my opportunity to pick her up and toss her down.

I kissed down her perfect creamy skin. Flawless hills of breasts that begged to be touched and fondled. She was wet and pink and throbbing, just the way I wanted her. I went face first not bothering with being neat about it. She tasted sweet, like warm milk. Eating Jessa was like eating the best dessert and hearing it moan your name. She liked the way my metal felt against her delicate pink skin. I smiled. She loved it.

I used my hand to spread her lips apart and delve my tongue inside to fondle her clit. She moaned loudly and I think I heard Cash make noise downstairs. I used my other hand to slip a finger inside and test her depth. I used two the next time and felt her tight opening. I wanted to be in her. I shoved my fingers in hard and she arched into my face. I grinned again and kissed her aching lips.

I kissed up her body, taking my time to taste every little bit and hopefully leave little Benji marks. I reached her bust and licked slowly around one nipple then bring it all in my mouth like a nursing infant. I sucked the skin into my mouth and bit down gently on her nipple. She only moaned with pleasure and pure enjoyment. I kept moving, kissing her neck and sucking her tender earlobes.

I was filled with masculine brute force. Caveman mentality that would have Jessa leaned over and presented to me like an open flower.

"I'm gonna fuck you Jessa, so hard baby." I promised against her ear. "So hard. I wanna make you come, make you scream Jessa, I wanna hear you scream."

"I'm all wet, Benji."
"Do you want me?" I asked wanting her to answer me like a nasty girl.
"I want you, Benj. I want you inside me."

I got up and positioned myself, poised to enter, but I didn't. I brushed my head along the her seam, threatening to barge in. The sensation was incredible.

"Don’t tease me." she pleaded.
"Tell me what you want?" I continued to move it back and forth.
"I want to feel you inside me, Benji, I want you to ride me."

I couldn't wait anymore and plunged my head within her moist folds. She opened her mouth but had no words. I took no slow tender motions, I went hard and fast from the get go and I heard no complaints. Only Jessa crying my name telling me I was a God, asking me to say her name.

"Jessuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" I released into her, feeling utterly exhausted.

I kissed both her cheeks and pulled out feeling the sweat between our two bodies. I held Jessa close to me. I shut my eyes and kissed her forehead. I never wanted to stop kissing her or feeling her heated naked skin against mine.

"I love you." I told her and I meant it with every ounce and kissed her mouth. I loved her, there was no denying. I loved her now and I would always.
***
I heard the shower running when I woke up. The sun wasn't really up yet. I ached in places I hadn't in years, ah, the work out of sex. My back hurt my shoulders hurt and my dick hurt from slamming hard into Jessa last night. The memory brought blood to my shaft and I swelled again. I took my hand and gently massaged the head with it. I made swift long strokes, eyes shut tight, thinking about how wet and tight Jessa had felt.

"Jessa, oh, Jessa" I moaned to myself.
"What?" my eyes popped open with embarrassment as the bed creaked with Jessa's return. She smiled at me. She was still completely nude as was I. She leaned over me and kissed me. Jessa straddled my legs and fought my hand away with her own carefully inserting my cock inside her. I watched her with extreme pleasure as she slowly inched me in like I were her dildo.
"Jessa" I groaned.
"Yeah." She murmured, sliding me all the way inside.

We groaned together and then…I woke up again, hearing the shower running. Jessa was in the shower. I wanted to join her and fuck her again with hot water falling on us. She had awakened things inside me. The touch of woman had been lost on me for over 2 years. One night and I wanted more I wanted to never stop.

I followed the sound of the running shower and smiled with the thought of Jess's naked body on the other side of the curtain. I pulled it back.

"Boo!" I wanted to surprise her and was surprised myself to find her in a pool of blood at the bottom of my tub. Razors spilt all over.

I screamed and sat up realizing it was a nightmare. The room was dark around me and Jessa's bare body was next to me, so hot and dead asleep. I laid down and watched her motionless face. She was drooling and I grinned. She looked cute and childlike. She looked like an angel. A few hours ago she was my best friend.

Now what were we. A couple? Did we suddenly have a relationship? I let all the thoughts I should have thought as she ran to me in the rain. Things I should have thought about before she took off my pants and drove me crazy. Before I made love to her.

I told her I loved her and it was honest. It was what I felt at that moment. It's something that had been burning a hole in my heart. The entire time I was on tour I thought about Jessa. She'd call me on the phone and I'd tell her about the tour, tell her about the people, the places, the food. And when it was really late and everyone was asleep I lied awake thinking about what she was doing? Thinking about what she was wearing then cursing myself for thinking about her like that. I made myself commit to the mantra that she was my friend, only my friend.

But this afternoon I kissed her and didn't want to stop. Her lips were like candy I wanted to just eat them. And she kissed back. She wanted everything as much as me didn't she. I didn't want to know the answer, but I knew I couldn't do this to myself. I couldn't fall in love. No matter how good it seemed or perfect she was…

She was perfect. Smart, funny, she listened to me and paid attention to me. She just seemed to understand. She fit in my life, but I couldn't. I really couldn't.

I liked her this way. Asleep, mine. No one could take her away. I couldn't hurt her and she couldn't hurt me as long as her eyes were closed. I kissed her and it felt good. It wasn't fair, I wanted to love her. I wanted to be part of her life.

But I couldn't.
***
I could see the fire red light on the other side of my eyelids. I squirmed in bed and realized I was naked, and that I could feel a draft on my nipple making it stiff. As I pulled the covers up to cover my breast I felt the warmth of Benji's skin. I popped my eyes open and smiled at the sleeping male next to me.

It'd been a long time since I woke up with a man, especially after a night of hot amazing sex. I quickly decided the best way to wake Benji up would be a nice spanking. I ran my hand down his body and I spanked him when I found round cheeks. He stirred and grumbled. I laid against him, my breasts pressed against his back and I laid my head on my folded arms, waiting for him to roll over and smile at me.

He didn't get up right away so I drummed my fingers over his shoulder blades and on his tattooed arms. I kissed his back.

"Ben-ji." I coaxed him from sleep. "Wake up big boy."

He groaned again and I reached my arm under him, finding his nipples and pinching.

"Ow, Jess!" he lifted his head, turning so we came face to face.
I grinned as sexy as possible. "Morning, Benj."

"Get off Jess" he complained and lifted his body up.

I rolled off him and lied almost under him, oh yeah I wanted this. He looked down at my naked breasts and tossed a pillow over me. He sat up, carefully concealing his naked body behind the comforter. He mussed his hair, shook the sleep from his head, and blinked his eyes a few times to adjust to the light.

"What time is it?" he wanted to know.
"Does it matter?" I asked playfully, moving the pillow and going for his jugular. I feathered his neck with kisses and licks.
"Stop, Jess." He pulled me away. "Put some clothes on, don't you have work?"
"You know as well as me I don't gotta be there til 12. It's early, Benj." I didn't get it. Didn't he like this?

"I'm sure you have errands to run or something."
"Benji?" I asked shocked as he pulled himself out of bed, wrapping a sheet around his waist. "Benj, what's the matter?"
"What? N-nothing. I don’t wanna keep you."
"You're not. Benji last night was…"
"Hey, I'm starving." He cut me off.
"Benji!?!"
"Yeah, let's go get some breakfast."

He hurried into the bathroom and I wanted to cry. Did he not have as good a time last night as I had? I thought he did. He seemed like he did, he moaned and came and told me he loved me. I wanted that feeling back. I sat up and pulled the covers up to my armpits. He didn't stop or slow down once last night, he didn't hesitate to have his way with me.

Maybe that was all it was. Maybe he wanted to to sleep with me. Maybe that was all he ever wanted from me. Sex. What an asshole.

I heard the shower come on and I got out of bed. I found half my clothes and went downstairs to get the rest. I tied my shoes as the shower ended. I found my keys on the floor by the door. I gave Cash's head a rub and headed out the door, I had to get out of here, away from him.

"Jess?" I heard as I slammed the door. I walked faster through the rain puddled walk. I got in my car and just sat there. I half expected him to come out after me, tell me he was acting like as ass, that he was sorry. Beg me to come back inside so we could talk…about us.

But I was kidding myself cause it wasn't going to happen. It was a one night stand. I'd only ever had sex with one other person and that was because I was in love with him. I didn't believe in the one night stand, it sounded so sleazy, so dirty. I felt used.

I started the car and drove away as tears started dripping down my face.