I could always count on futures
That things will look up
And they look up
Why is it so hard to find balance
Between living decent...
And the cold and real
Hey now,
What is it you think you see?
My darling
Now's the time to disagree.

I rolled around in bed and smiled at Alex. My eyes barely being able to focus, my lids falling shut over them. I heard her making noise and opened my eyes wider to see her opening her's.

"Hey baby." I fluttered my lashes. "Morning."

She groaned.

"You alright?"

"I'm tired. I don't feel so good." She whined.

"Are you okay, baby?" I asked seriously.

"Uh huh, I think I just need to sleep. You can get the boys to school, yeah?" she shut her eyes again. "Thanks Joely. I love you."

I kissed her forehead and rested my head as I watched her sleep.

"Moooooom!" Sam came pounding into our room. "Mom….moooom" he shook Alex.

"Hey." I whispered, getting up. "Hey, Sam…leave your mom alone, what's up?"

"I need my red shirt"

I know I never do the laundry, but I'm positive Sam has more than one red shirt.

"Which one?"

"The RED one"

"I know that buddy, which red shirt."

"I dunno" he shrugged.

I groaned and dragged myself out of the warm bed.

"C'mon let's go look for it." I said with a yawn.

We traveled downstairs into the basement, there was a pile of colorful dirty laundry on the floor and a basket of folded washed clothes. My guess was it was dirty, but I was hoping it was already clean. I pulled a red shirt off the top.

"This one?"

"That's Zack's." Sam made a face. It was sacrilegious to get him confused with his brother. He wouldn’t talk to me for 2 days cause I mistakenly called him Zack once. I call Alex, Benji, sometimes and she doesn't seem to mind.

"This one?" I pulled out a red shirt with Monster written across the front.

"No."

"Well, which one is it?"

"The one with the lizard."

Lizard, lizard? I don't remember a red shirt with a lizard on the front.

"What do you need it for?"

"I just need it!" he groaned. "I like it."

"Can't you wear this one? It's cool, isn't it?"

"Dad, please!" he whined. "You're not helping…can we get mommy now?"

"Naw, mommy's tired. We're not going to bother her today."

"Buuuut" he complained.

"What's going on?" Zack came down rubbing his eyes.

"Hey Shrimp." I smiled. "We're just finding Sam's shirt."

"Oh. Is mommy making me cereal?"

"No, sorry, let's find Sammy's shirt then we'll make some pancakes, how's that sound?"

"I want cereal!?" Zack whined.

"Okay, we can eat cereal" I smiled. "But first Sam's shirt."

We hunted for what seemed like hours, when it was actually about 10 minutes with no luck. I don't think he owned a red lizard shirt.

"Alright we looked through everything." I said defeated. "You're gonna have to wear something else."

"But Daaaaaad…" he started whining again.

"Sam!" I warned.

"But Daaaaaaaaaad.."

"Samuel Benjamin, I don't want another word, go upstairs and get dressed." I don't know why I even agreed to look for this shirt. I'm his father I should be able to tell him what to do.

"Canna have cereal now?" Zack pouted.

"Yes, why don't we get dressed first it's already 7:30"

"What does that mean?"

"That it's almost time for school." I took his hand and led him upstairs.

I don't know why everything was such a chore this morning. I got the boys together in the morning plenty of times before, but today the toast was burnt, the right shoe was missing and I had a kink in my neck that appeared out of nowhere. I ran upstairs for the 40^th time and went into the bedroom and walked through it to the bathroom, eager for 2 seconds to myself to take a piss. As I left, I walked across to Alex's bedside.

"Al, baby?"

"Hmmm?" she groaned.

"You're appointment's at 10, I'm gonna take the boys and swing by to pick you up on the way…"

"No, Joely."

"What?" I was confused. "No, what?"

"I'm not going to my appointment, call and cancel."

"Al…"

"I'm sleepy." She whined and shut her eyes tight. Any second she was gonna start tearing, and that's the last thing I wanted to see.

"Are you sure?" I asked, rubbing her cheek, gently.

"I'm sleepy." She repeated and curled up further in the blankets.

***

Tuesday was the same as Monday and Wednesday was the same as Tuesday. I went into the bedroom to check up for the umpteenth time. She was lying there so peacefully, I didn't want to wake her, but she'd been sleeping for a good 2 and a half days. It had me a little upset and worried about her. She ate when I brought her food and she got up a few times to go to the bathroom, but she really didn't leave the bed.

"Alex?" I shook her lightly. "Baby, wake up."

"Huh? What is it Joel?" she seemed annoyed at being woken up.

"Baby, do you feel okay? Is everything alright?"

"I'm just sleepy." She yawned.

"I know, but…I mean, are you sure that's all it is?" I asked with concern.

"Yeah," she yawned again and nodded. "Are the boys okay?"

"Uh huh." I was sorta telling the truth. The truth was they were a little agitated.

I never realized the boys were so attached to Alex. I mean as much as kids are attached to their mothers I guess, but I never thought they'd be Momma's boys. This morning Zack was in near tears because mommy wasn't making his cereal. I tried coaxing Alex out of bed, but she didn't budge. She spent all day Monday and all day Tuesday and now it was Wednesday and she was still in bed. I guess all her activity was catching up to her. She needed some rest, I suppose, this was good for her.

I let her sleep some more and went back downstairs to the computer desk in the great room. I had a lot of work to catch up on, email to read. I turned to the computer screen. I hated checking email. It felt like it took longer every time I did it. I had to sift through each and every piece, just in case it was important. I had some stuff from Epic. Soundscan report. Newsletters from all the trades. Something from Jim and Abby about fundraising. Forwards from people in the office. It was so dorky. We sent all those stupid poems and jokes and everything. Benji wrote fake memo's; about keeping the water cooler chat to a minimum and about playing radios at reasonable volumes for an hour everyday, and sent them around the office. We obviously didn't take our jobs very seriously.

I opened his latest report.

Man, I loved Benji. I laughed to myself. Benji broke the "dress code" a lot and so did I, neither of us wore studded belts or pink ones and Benji wore a collared shirt the other day. His emails were always good for a read. I closed it and returned to the inbox. More boring mail. More boring work. It was probably about time to check in on the boys. They were being awfully quiet.

"Boys?"

Sam was still at the table poring over his math workbook. Zack sat on the floor playing with trucks.

"You guys okay?"

"Yup!" Zack nodded, looking up at me, his brown eyes shining.

Sam didn't say anything. His face was twisted with determination.

"Do ya need help buddy?" I asked sitting next to him.

"No." he looked me in the eye and looked back down at his book. "Yes. I don't get it." he frowned.

I smiled at him and pushed my chair closer.

"Okay, what're we working on?" I rubbed my hands together.

"Clocks." He frowned.

"Come on Sam, it's not that hard. I tell time on my watch all the time." I explained, stripping the metal band from my wrist and laying in front of him on the table.

We went over the numbers again, and began working on each little problem one by one. He was groaning and struggling and part of me wanted to stop and leave him alone, but I knew he was just being a brat. He could do this. I knew he could.

"Dad, I dowanna."

"Well you do a lot of things you 'dowanna' do in life Sammy, it’s just how the cookie crumbles"

"But Daaaaad"

"Sam, don't whine, c'mon."

"No!" He sneered.

"What?" I stared at him, oh no he DIDN'T.

"NO!"

"Sam…" I used a warning tone.

"No, I dowanna tell the stupid time!" He yelled getting up and taking my watch. He ran down the hall.

"Samuel Benjamin Madden!" I yelled after him. "Get back here right now, young man!"

I followed him into the bathroom. Maybe he was gonna lock himself in there. I came in the door, just in time to see him throw my watch in the toilet. Throw my $500 Fendi watch into the toilet and flush.

"SAM!!" I screamed, as it gurgled and spun in the water. I can't believe he would do something like that. Sam just stared at me. I scowled at him and grabbed him by the arm, spinning him and giving him one firm spank to his butt. "You do NOT do that Sam!"

He turned at looked at me shocked. I've never, ever, ever hit my boys before. His face twisted up and all at once he started bawling. Oh my God, why did I do that?

"No, Sam, I'm sorry, it's okay, I'm soo sorry." I leaned down to his level and hugged him. I felt so guilty. I shouldn't have done that. "I shouldn't have done that Sammy, I'm sorry. C'mon let's fish my watch out."

As I rolled up my shirt sleeve to stick my hand inside the bowl a let a wave a guilt wash over me. I can't believe I hit him. What if he was scarred for life? God, I was so stupid. Every bit of anger I felt about him ruining my watch was gone as I looked over at him whimpering. I must be the most terrible father…

But no, no I wasn't. I couldn't be, because MY father was the worst father of all time. He wasn't even a man.

"Sam." I looked at him as I stood up and set my watch on the counter. "What you just did was wrong, do you understand me?"

He nodded.

"But what daddy did was wrong too. I'm sorry I hit you Sam, and I won't do it again, I promise." I explained. "I…I overreacted. You made me really mad when you took my watch and flushed it in the toilet, do you understand Sam?"

He nodded again.

"I want you to go upstairs and go to your room until I say so." I instructed. "You're in time out."

I should put myself in time out. God, I can't believe I couldn't control that urge. Sam gets on my last nerve a lot, but I've never, ever, EVER reached the point where I hit him, NEVER. I leaned against the counter and sighed. I picked up my wet watch. The inside was starting to cloud. It was nothing but junk now.

It was just a watch, an expensive watch, sure, but just a watch. I had others. He didn't crash my car or send his brother to the hospital for stitches, this was a little thing. This was nothing. I got beat over nothing. Tracking mud into the house was a spankable offensive. Crayoning the wall in my bedroom, spanked. Falling off my bike and scrapping my knee causing dad to get off the couch and put down his beer…Benji and I both got it for that one, Benji should've been watching me apparently. We were 7. Sam's age.

I took another deep breath before shutting off the light and going back out into the hall. I heard Zack giggling in the great room, probably still playing with his trucks. Then I heard a crash.

"Zack!" I ran down the hall, in time to be leapt upon by our giant 4-year-old St. Bernard, Shannon. She pinned me down with her enormous paws and slobbered on my face. "EW, oh, Shan…" I sat myself up, pushing Shannon off me. Zack continued laughing.

"Zack, that's not funny." I stood up. "What's Destroyer doin' in the house?"

He rolled his head back to look up at me. He grinned slightly. "She wanted to come and play trucks." He blinked a couple times.

"Oh, she did huh?"

"Shan Stroy'r likes my trucks!" he affirmed.

"Really?" I asked, looking over as Shan slobbered all over Zack's bright shiny fire engine.

"Nooooo, Shan…you play with THIS one!" he set a yellow and blue dump truck in front of her and set the fire truck aside.

We got Shannon, or more accurately Shannon Destroyer, when Sam was 3 and Alex was pregnant with Zack. Cash was dying and I wanted a dog of my own really bad. Alex let me, as long as I picked out something small. I thought maybe an English bulldog, or a Boston terrier or a cocker spaniel, but when me and Sam got down to the animal shelter, we set eyes on the cutest, littlest dog in a litter of 7. I didn't pay attention to the fact that she was a St. Bernard, she fit in my arms like a baby and Sam loved her. We took her home and I named her Shannon, it was a girl's name I liked and Alex didn't. She was convinced we were having another boy, anyway. Sam named her Destroyer after some cartoon he saw, and ever since she'd been part of the family.

"Well it's time for Shan to go back outside." I grabbed her pink studded collar. "C'mon Shan." I dragged her body along side me. she's just as heavy as I am and I groan as I pull her. "Out you go, Shan." She whined and pouted at me, so I rubbed her head, scratching behind her ears.

Smiled at out at the view from my back yard. The lights were starting to come on in all the houses along the creek. I carefully counted 22 houses, and I was pretty sure I could make out Benji's tree. I'm sure it was his house cause all the lights were on up and downstairs, his lights always seem to be on. It was homey and inviting.

In California everyone came to my house for get-togethers, I had the big house, Benji had the modest home. Here, we had houses roughly the same size, but for some reason we always gathered at Benji's house. Not that our house isn't a home and that we don't have a family, but Benji's house, Benji's family; I don't know what it was, his house was so homey. It was warmer there, brighter there. Maybe it was because Jess cooked so much and was there so much more. Alex stresses out and hides, in the bedroom, in work.

Alex was a great mom, no doubt about it. She was an awesome wife. I loved her so much, and I don't wanna compare her to Jessa or be jealous or make it seem like I wanted someone like Jess. I didn't want anyone but Alex. I couldn't even imagine being with someone else. There are just times when she puts up this wall and doesn't let me in. I've told her a hundred times and then she breaks a little and it goes well for awhile before she acts insecure again.

I'm sure every marriage has it's own thing. I know Benji and Jess don't have the perfect marriage, hell, according to him they don't even have a sex life anymore and I know that's gotta suck. It's so easy to think that everyone else has it better than you, but I guess they don't because I love MY family, my boys and my Alex. Sure, I wanted a daughter, but I had 3 nieces, 5 if you counted Bri and Leah. And maybe I thought it was cool that Jessa cooked basically every night, but I loved my Tuesday's when I got to have fun with the boys and cook something with them. Yeah, I get jealous that Benji has Ben, this awesome, smart, grown-up kid, but Sam grows everyday and before I know it he's gonna be taller than me and drive and break curfew and chase every girl he sees.

I sighed and smiled when I saw the lights flickering at the house I thought was Benji's, for sure it was his, I could just see little Joel standing on one of the kitchen chairs and flipping the light switch and Benji yelling at him to stop. I went back inside just as I heard Zack cry.

"Daddy, I gotta owwie!" he sobbed.

"What?" I went back into the great room. Zack was on his knees, kneeling over the picture frame Shan must have knocked over. I didn't even look to see what she broke. It was a picture of me, Alex, and Sam at the hospital the night Isabel was born, we looked so much younger. He had a little cut on his index finger and bright red blood seeped out. He obviously tried to pick up the shattered glass.

"Owwwww" he cried.

"It's okay, Zacky, c'mon." I picked him up and took him back down the hall to the bathroom.

"D-D-Daddy, am I dead?" he sobbed, looking at his injured finger.

I smiled and mussed his hair. "No way Shrimp, this is just a little cut, you'll be okay."

"It hurts!" he cried.

"I know, I'll fix it." I smiled, setting him on the counter. First, I cleaned it with water. Then I got out the red first aid kit. I squirted out a tiny amount of Neosporin and rubbed it on his finger.

"Which Band-Aid you want?" I held up the choices of Blue's clues, neon colors or Starship Destroyers.

"Stroy'rs!" Zack gritted his teeth as he said it.

"Yeah!" I matched his tone and ripped open the package. I wrapped his tiny finger with the bandage.

"Dad?" Sam was at the door, with this hurt little look. "I'm sorry I broke your watch."

I gave him a lopsided smile and put my arm around his shoulder and held him too me. "It's okay, buddy." I leaned down and kissed his forehead. "I'm sorry too."

"Me too!" Zack waved his arms in my face.

I chuckled and kissed his cheek, my other arm hugging him to me as well. He held out his finger, with silver starships zipping around the dark blue sky on the Band-Aid. I kissed his finger too. "All better?"

"Awe betta!" Zack smiled.

I smiled down at my boys. Yeah, my life was pretty awesome.

"Hey, guys, it's getting kinda late, why don't we make some dinner."

"But it's Wednesday?!" Sam looked puzzled.

"It's okay, I can cook on Wednesday's too." I explained. "Let's go make something for Mommy."

"YEAH!" Zack cried, jumping off the counter.

The boys followed me into the kitchen and pretty soon we were all covered in tomato sauce and parmesan cheese.

***

"Look mommy!" Zack woke me up and pointed at his father and brother coming in, trays of food in hand.

I smiled vaguely and sat up.

"What's this?"

"Dinner time." Joel answered. He set his tray down on the dresser and disappeared again.

"Daddy made dinner Mommy." Zack explained. "And I helped."

"Me too!" Sam smiled.

"That's great boys."

Joel returned with the card table under his arm. He popped the legs out and set it next to the bed.

"Sam, can you go get your desk chair from your bedroom?"

"Okay."

"Joel, what's going on?"

"Well, you're not feeling well enough to come downstairs and eat with us so we brought dinner to you." he smiled so wide and proudly I could kiss him.

I felt a little better, the sleep was definitely paying off. I could hear them downstairs in the brief moments I was awake and I ached for them. my little Zacky, and little Sammy and little Joely. I sat up on the edge of the bed, sitting on one side of the card table. Zack climbed up next to me. Sam returned with his chair and sat down on another table edge.

Joel set the tray in the middle of the table, revealing four plates of spaghetti, along with a small salad and garlic bread. I grinned. This was really nice.

"Thanks, you guys." I said smiling as we started to eat.

"No problemo." Zack patted my shoulder. Joel and I laughed at each other. The things that came out of that kid were so funny and random.

"So, what have I missed?" I asked, spinning spaghetti on my fork.

Everything, apparently. The boys went on and on as if I had missed whole years of their lives. I smiled as Zack explained the mystery of losing a green crayon at the playground at school and how he and Noah searched diligently and came up empty handed. Of course he used words like 'me and Noh looked for-EVER and it wasn't nowhere.' Sam told me about the self-portrait he did and ran off mid-sentence to get it. Joel told me about Benji's new dress code policy.

"Woman are beautiful?" I repeated. "Pervert. He wants to get in their pants."

"Benji's married Alex."

"Duh, I know that, doesn't mean he's not still a total flirt." I explained. He used to flirt with his ex-assistant, Lola, all the time. I don't know how Jessa puts up with that. Thank God, girls still made Joel shy or he'd be as bad as his brother.

"What's a pervert?" Sam asked.

"Your uncle Benji."

"No, he's not. Don't tell them that, Al." Joel shook his head at me.

"Okay, sorry, he's not a pervert. Don't say that, okay." I fixed. "How's the time thing going, Sammy?"

"I broke dad's watch." He frowned.

"You did?!"

Joel frowned, too, like he broke the watch himself.

"I put it in the toilet."

"And it went FLUSH!" Zack danced in his seat, mimicking the watch going down the toilet I guess.

"It's okay, now, it wasn't a big deal." Joel shrugged. "It's okay, now isn't it buddy?" he rubbed Sam's head.

"Uh huh." He still looked sad or guilty.

"Baby, what's the matter?"

"Nuthin'" he made a little grimace. "I don't like telling time."

"Sweetie, one day you'll do it so well you won't remember not knowing." I soothed him.

I was glad to be returning to normal. Sleep made me all the more tired and lazy, but I was supposed to be getting more rest. I guess it made me kind of over-tired. But Monday was so bad, my head hurt like crazy and my body just felt…achy. All I wanted to do was sleep. I felt swollen and heavy and my back hurt pretty bad.

It's not like this was new. Sam was my best pregnancy aside from him being late 2 weeks. I was tired and had a huge appetite and every average symptom from the books. Zack was when the nagging crampy back pain began, the terrible indigestion, and the searing headaches. Even then it was mild and Zack arrived perfectly on time. Then there was Jake. He had a terribly, awfully short life, that he shared with me. Everything felt fine. No one ever told me to be too concerned with my back pain or my headaches.

The night he died, will stay etched in my mind forever. Joel's too I'm sure. It started with the bleeding and then the cramping and finally with the trip to the ER, where an intern told us there was no heartbeat. I remember the ultrasound pictures, the lack of movement, the empty void sound. I wanted to die, but I had Joel and I had my boys and before long I was pregnant again.

I patted my belly and I felt him inside, moving around, getting stronger. He was a perfect, strong little boy.

"We need to call the doctor, Alex." Joel said. "We're supposed to see her every week now."

"I know." I nodded. "We should call her now."

"Hmm, is she still in?"

"She's on call at the hospital Wednesday nights, remember?" I reminded him.

"Oh yeah."

Joel went to get the phone while the boys and I finished our dinner.

"We made brownies, mom." Sam told me.

"Hmm, I think I'm a little too full for brownies."

"But they have fudge in them." he whined.

"Maybe a little later, okay?"

"O-kay." He sighed.

Joel returned with the phone pressed to his ear. He listened then pulled it away from his ear and dialed a number, then hung up.

"Pager." He explained.

Joel and the boys cleaned up as we patiently awaited the return phone call. I laid back down. the tiny amount of energy spent sitting up and eating was making me sleepy again. But it wasn't really too bad. It still felt better than the past 2 days.

I shut my eyes for 2 seconds and when I opened them the lamp in the bedroom had been turned off, the boys, card table, and spaghetti had all disappeared. I looked towards the digital clock on the dresser. 11:34pm. It was almost midnight. I had been asleep 5 hours. I must be really tired.

I could faintly hear the TV in the living room. I could imagine Joel sitting down there in his flannel pj's, no lights on, the blue green glow of the TV illuminating him. He'd be scratching his beard, or his balls, and giggling at the screen. It was either Conan O'Brien starting or, more likely, cartoons.

I achingly got out of bed, wrapped my baby blue robe around me, and slipped my feet into my overstuffed teddy bear slippers. I padded downstairs after briefly checking to see my sleeping boys in their beds. I turned off Zack's radio. He couldn't go to bed without a radio, since he was a baby. He loved when Joel sang to him, and when Joel would be gone on tour, I played the CDs for him. Now, he just listened to any random station. Sam was playing a video game before bed and I pried the Gameboy from his hands and left it on his nightstand.

Finally, I reached the bottom floor. I could hear the unmistakable gibberish talk of Meatwad. I shook my head. Joel was on the couch in the dark, his legs spread out in front of him, and as I predicted, his fingers raking in his beard. His collection of Aqua Teen Hunger Force DVDs were piled next to him.

"Hi Joely." I smiled and he patted the space next to him. I went and sat next to him, letting him wrap his arm around my shoulder.

"How you feeling?" he asked, pausing the DVD.

"Okay." I shrugged. "Did the doctor call back?"

He shook his head. "Naw, I think she was probably busy. Maybe, we should just go over there tomorrow."

"Yeah, we'll call in the morning."

"Mm hmm." He leaned over and gave me a kiss. "I missed you baby."

"I missed you too, Joel." I smiled and we looked each other in the eye until we blushed with embarrassment. "Let's go to bed, baby."

"Okay." He stood up and cleaned up his movies. Meaning he turned off the DVD player and left the pile next to the TV. I rolled my eyes, it was such a messy boy thing to do. I'd pick it up in the morning, right now I wanted to curl up with my husband and go to sleep.

***

I had my arm on the small of Alex's back, leading her back upstairs, when the phone rang. It was almost midnight, who was calling? I took the phone from hallway as Alex continued to the room. I hoped it wasn't Benji. I had this terrible anxiety that it was him calling about Sarah.

"Hello?"

"Joel, hi, it's Carole. I just got a chance to answer your page. I'm so glad you called. I've been worried." She did sound concerned. She sounded like our mother. "How's Alex?"

"Well, she's tired." I explained. "She didn't want to get out of bed all week."

"Hmm, I see. Any cramps, or spotting?"

"She didn't say anything, hold on." I put the phone against my neck as I walked the rest of the way into the bedroom. "Al, have you had an cramps or spotting?"

"That Dr. Saunders?"

"Yeah."

"Some back pain, headaches, but mostly I'm tired." She frowned.

I nodded and out the phone back to my ear. "No cramps or spotting. She says it's been headaches and back aches."

"She's been eating?" she asked.

"Yeah."

"Is she awake now?"

"Yeah." I answered. I love our doctor, but all her questions always made me nervous. Like I could give a wrong answer. "Do you wanna talk to her?"

"Yeah, sure."

I handed the phone to Alex and she sat down to talk to her. I sat on the edge of the bed, listening to Alex's end of the conversation. It wasn't much. Repeating her symptoms, nodding, okay's, yes's, and then she hung up.

"So?"

"She says I should be fine, but she wants us to go first thing in the morning."

"Oh." I swallowed.

"Don't be nervous, Joely, she says she figured I would eventually get this tired. She says maybe total bedrest until he's born might be best."

"Really?" I sighed. "That…"

"It's not bad, Joel."

"But it's not good."

She smiled at me. "Don't worry baby, we'll be okay. I feel a lot better now. We read all the books, we're taken care of, if something's the matter we'd know, okay?" She kissed me. "Let's go to bed, baby."

***

"Joel!" she cried urgently as I rolled over. "Joely, get UP!"

"Al?" I sounded as concerned as possible, but my eyelids still weighed a hundred pounds and I couldn't get them to stay open.

"It hurts…" I could hear the pain so apparent in her voice.

"Alex?" I flung my eyes open, scared, fully awake at the sound of my wife writhing in pain on the bed. "Alex what's going on?"

She grimaced painfully, but didn't say anything. I glanced at the clock, 4:53am, we'd gone to bed, and Alex had been fine only 5 hours ago. I didn't understand. Dr. Saunders said everything should be fine, that going to see her tomorrow would be fine. I felt a wave of panic wash over me. She was 30 weeks along, almost 31. The baby was too big now to be a miscarry. My breath turned ragged and sweat dripped off my forehead in a few seconds it took me to realize that we needed to get to the hospital now. That our child was in danger.

***

"Futures" Jimmy Eat World from the album Futures

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