"Shhh." The tiny girl put her finger to her mouth to silence her brothers. "Quiet."
The three children quietly snuck inside their parent's bedroom. Their parents snored lightly from atop their King sized bed. One by one the children climbed up the bed, moving carefully not to disturb their sleeping parents. The littlest boy, barely 3-years-old couldn't reach his stubby legs up to climb aboard, but neither his big brother or big sister seem to notice or be concerned.
"Ready?" the girl asked. "Ok"
"WAKE UP!!!!!" The two oldest children yelled, jumping slightly and stirring their father. The smallest boy reacted slower and simply waved his arms in the air and screamed from the floor in front of his mother..
"Okay," Their dad groaned. "Okay, I'm up."
"Morning my babies." Their mom rolled over. She spotted her little one straining to pull himself onto the bed to join the rest of his family, whimpering.
"C'mere." She reached out and picked him up onto the bed. "Good morning sweetheart."
"Moe-ning" he replied, hugging his mom and lying against her.
"Joel, you're a big baby." Noah made a face.
"Am not!" the smaller boy shouted.
"Noah, don't talk that way to your brother. Apologize."
He rolled his 4-year-old eyes. "Sorry."
"Noah!" She said more firmly.
"Sorry, Joel." He said more sincerely.
"Daddy, can you take us to school? Please? Please please please!!" The girl pleaded, jumping on her father's stomach
"Yeah, what time is it?" He answered sleepily and turned his head towards the alarm clock on the dresser.
"It's 7:16" The girl answered.
"Is Ben awake?"
"I dunno." She shrugged.
"Ok, Iz, go downstairs I'll go make breakfast in a minute.
"Pancakes?" Her brown eyes lit up.
"With syrup, get out the stuff to make it. Go, shoo, all of you." He waved his hands as his children scampered out of the room.
"Me too?" Joel asked from his mother's arms.
"Especially you." He grinned and picked up his youngest son. He set him on the floor and spanked his little butt to push him out of the room.
He turned and smiled at his wife as he got out of bed. She smiled back as she stretched.
"Morning Jess." He gave her a quick kiss.
"Mmm, morning Benji."
***
"Babe, do you think I'm fat?"
"Excuse me?" I stared at Benji as he looked at his profile in the mirror. "Um, no."
"Well I'm not really like, fit."
"Benji you never were…I like you like this, just like this." I hugged him.
"But, look." He pointed to his slight belly.
"Benji! I like your meat."
"You like my meat??" he raised his eyebrows.
"The meat on your bones, I mean. I like the chub." I emphasized by grabbing his love handles.
Benji laughed as I started tickling him. He started tickling back and I laughed loudly.
"What are you guys doing?" Isabel appeared in the doorframe, her face was very set and serious and her hands were on her tiny hips.
"Getting dressed." Benji answered, slightly embarrassed.
"School starts in…" She looked at her pink glitter watch. "34 minutes. I don't wanna be late."
Benji mock saluted. "Yes ma'am your majesty."
I half smiled. "Go make sure your brother's are ready I'll be down in a few min…"
"MOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMM" Ben screamed.
A few seconds later he was marching into our room, his little brother attached to his arm.
"Joel won't leave me alone." Ben complained.
"Ben tying my SHOES." Joel announced smiling.
"He wants you to tie his shoes, can't you do that?" Benji plugged in his electric razor.
Ben's nostrils flared like a bull and he groaned. "Why do I have to EVERYTHING?" He moaned long-sufferingly on his way back down the hall to his room. The door promptly slammed shut and I could hear him muttering on the other side.
"Jesus Christ, you'd think I asked him to tie everyone's shoes." Benji said behind the whir of his razor.
"Mommy, tie my shoes." Joel's mouth made an "o" as he pronounced shoe.
"Yeah, come sit on the bed, little guy."
Joel huffed and puffed to climb his way onto the bed with his pudgy arms and legs.
"Mooooom." Isabel said half way through my first loop.
"What, Isabel?" I asked aggravated.
"School starts in 29 minutes!!" She urged.
"Sweetie you aren't gonna be late, go watch TV." I suggested. "Where's Noah?"
"I don't know." she sneered like Ben and marched off, arms crossed.
"Great." I rolled my eyes. "Noah!"
I heard shuffling a few doors down, a crash, and a cry.
"I Ty-ING my shoes." Joel pointed to the double knotted mess he'd made at his ankles.
"Great baby." I stood up dragging him down the bed with me. "Benj, keep an eye on him. Noah! Are you okay?"
I walked a few feet into the boys' room. Noah was on the floor with his head in his palm, 30 or 40 books crashed onto the floor.
"Sweetheart what were you doing?" I went to him on the floor.
He rubbed his head and pointed to the train at the top of his bookshelf. Benji must have put it there last night and Noah must have been climbing the shelf to get it.
"Baby, you can play with your train later. It's time to…"
"NOOOOOOO." He wailed.
"Noah, not right now."
"I want my train."
"No." I picked him up, despite his protests. "Noah, you can play with your train with daddy later."
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO." He had headed into full tantrum mode now.
"Hey, what's going on?" Benji came in fully clothed, Joel wrapped around his torso and neck.
"I. WANT. MY. TRAIN." Noah's eyes narrowed.
"Alright, that's enough, young man." Benji and I did a trade off between the boys.
"But I want…"
"ENOUGH." Benji silenced him.
There was a car horn blaring in long intervals. Benji and I looked at each other questioningly. Finally you could hear Izzy's yell.
"23 MINUTES!!!"
"Ben let's go!" Benji and I both called as we headed down the stairs and out to the cars.
***
I hated how I had to drive kinda far to get to a decent grocery store. We lived in an impossibly small town. It was full of little markets and stuff and they were nice, but I was looking for plain old Vons (well they have Food Lion over here) so I could get everything I needed. I guess that's what we get for living in a vacation spot. It was the kind of place where people from the city came to get away. It was a cute small beach town called Cape St. Claire. Actually, we lived in Shore Acres, it was like the country club side of the creek, which was weird sometimes, cause we really didn't fit in with that crowd, but a lot of the neighbors didn't live here year round and I loved my house.
"Momma, where we gonna go?" Joel sipped his juice box in the backseat.
"Remember I told you about the barbecue, Joely?"
"Yes." He tapped his feet against his child seat. "Are we going to the store?"
"Yup, we gotta get stuff for the barbecue."
"Canna getta toy?"
"We'll see."
It really wasn't such a bad place. We lived in a really nice community. It was quiet and peaceful and people didn't hide in the bushes with cameras. We were a totally normal family. Woke up in the morning and took the kids to school. Helped the kids with homework and went to soccer games on the weekends. Just the right amount of obla-di obla-da I was looking for.
Except that we were the family with all the kids. We had 4 kids. Tony called us the rabbits. People stared when we went places (when we DID go places), it wasn't like we had 10 kids, 4's not a bad amount. I just wished there was a bit more of gap between them.
Right after we moved I started feeling kinda tired and I got sick like every night. I was really irritable and mean and it didn't help that 6 weeks after the move Benji flew out to LA to help Joel with band stuff, leaving me all alone with an infant, toddler, and fourth grader. Benji was worried, of course, but he had to go. After I figured out the medical situation and I finally had an appointment, I was stunned to find out I was pregnant for the 3rd time.
***
Isabel was climbing the chair to peek into the doc's cabinets and drawers.
"Ooo ooo, mommy, what's this?" she pulled out a giant cotton swab.
"That's a q-tip for big people."
"Not like me, right mommy?"
"Nope, we're little people. Can you put it back please and sit down." Noah was in the baby carrier perfectly content with his pacifier. Isabel busied herself with the stool. She seemed to have discovered it spun.
"Mrs…Madden?" the perky short-haired Dr. Finn entered, flashing her bright grin at Isabel.
"Weeeeee" Isabel giggled as she continued spinning.
"Isabel please stop that." I told my daughter firmly. "So, what's wrong with me?"
"It's nothing to be worried about Mrs. Madden." She smiled again. "You're just pregnant."
"I'm…what?!" I looked at my two children, down at my stomach and back up at the doctor. "Pregnant?"
"Yup."
"But…but Noah's only 7 months old."
"Well it is possible. I mean, you know you’re more furtile right after pregnancy, right?"
"Oh" NO I obviously didn't know. I couldn't believe I was pregnant again, so soon. Benji was going to flip, run home and do the protective thing.
"You really had no idea?" she asked me again as she wrote in my chart.
I shook my head. "Do I look like I had an idea?"
"It'll be okay. Noah seems like a very well-behaved baby."
"he is…" I bit my lip trying to envision what this all meant.
"This is a referral for Dr. Riley, he's an Ob/Gyn."
"uh huh." I nodded.
"You can probably go down and see him now. Ya know get a look at the baby, see how far along you are."
"NO!" I shouted and she looked startled. "I mean, I can't…I have to go pick up my son from school."
"Oh." She smiled. "well there's a number, just make an appointment."
"uh huh." I nodded as I gathered my kids and left.
***
I had been about 10 weeks pregnant, and had no idea. I felt kinda stupid. As I predicted Benji was all concerned and surprised as hell. I remember the phone call quite well, because Sam was in the background going 'Are 'chu kay, uncle Benji?' and 'Daaaaaaaaad, uncle Benji needs yooooooouuuuuuu'.
That was my little Joel. He and Noah were barely 14 months apart. It was insane, it was like I was pregnant for 2 years. But damn if they don't grow fast. Noah was in preschool with Zack, Joel's 2nd son, and Joely stayed with me, because they refused to let us enroll him, even though he and Zack were born the same year. There was some rule about the kid having to be 3 upon application and since Joel was born in December, he was kinda stuck with me. I don't think he minded having me to himself for 5 hours a day.
"Well fancy seeing you here." Lilly grinned. "Hi, Joel."
"HIIIIII" he waved. "Mommy it's Leelee!"
I looked up at Lilly approaching with her own 3 year old daughter Leah.
"Hey, guys."
"May we shop with you?" Lilly joked.
I nodded as I heaved Joel up into the cart. Lilly did the same for Leah, she was as equally blonde, mousy and petite as her mother. She waved at Joel. Joel stuck his tongue out.
"Joel, put that away." I scolded.
We chatted as we shopped. Crackers, juice, cheerios, milk all went in the cart as the latest family happenings streamed from our lips. Occasionally a child's hand would fly out and toss cookies in the cart, and with the ease of smiling it was replaced on the shelf. It was like a dance, no thought was required for grocery shopping.
"So, you and Paul coming to the barbecue?"
"Of course, this Saturday right?" Lilly reached to the back of the freezer for the last gallon of Rocky road.
"Yeah." I nodded taking the chocolate syrup from Joel's hand. "No, baby, we don't need that."
"Well Xander has soccer practice til 3, so…" she shrugged.
"Yeah Sam does too. Alex is gonna come help me out and Joel's just gonna bring Sam when they're done." I explained as we wheeled our carts forward.
"Maybe he can bring Xander." Lilly pulled into a check out and began to unload.
"Yeah." I lined up in the opposite checkout.
"Want me to bring anything?" she asked.
"Sure, whatever."
I made a mental checklist as I took things from my cart and put them on the conveyor belt. Joel tapped his feet on the cart and smiled at the woman in line behind us.
"Hi!" He waved at her.
"Hello, young man."
"No, ma name's Joel." He grinned.
The woman chuckled and I looked behind me and smiled.
"How old are you Joel?"
"Thee." He nodded, holding up his fingers. "Ma brutter's four." He held up 4 fingers. "An' my other brutter's a lot, and my sisser's seb-ben."
I rolled my eyes, Joel knew how to talk perfectly fine, but whenever he started talking to someone at the store or some other event, he talked like a baby. I don't know if it was conscious, but it was kind of annoying. Because my kids were far from stupid.
I let Joel continue telling the woman a story, something about cookies I think. The girl barely looked up as she scanned my items. I waited patiently, finally she looked up. Her eyes went wide and she looked back down at the scanner. She glanced back up quickly. I smiled curiously.
"Are you…" she asked slowly.
"Am I what?" I knew what she was gonna ask.
The clerk bit her lip. I knew she was embarrassed to ask me. she obviously recognized me. she shook her head.
"Nevermind." She totaled my Bill. "It's $209.67. Do you need help out today?"
"Nope, that's alright. Credit?" I pulled the worn looking VISA from my wallet.
"Sure. Can I just see ID?" she said taking the card.
I quickly flashed my ugly Maryland drivers license. I used my California one up until last year, when it expired.
"Uh, didn't catch that."
I pulled it out again and let her compare the names. "It's me."
"Oh." Her eyes widened, apparently at the name.
"Yeah, me." I know I blushed.
"I saw all your movies." she revealed, as she swiped my card.
"Thanks." I smiled.
"I didn't know you lived around here." She smiled nervously.
"My husband's from Maryland so…"
"Oh, he was in some band right?"
Benji'd get a kick out of this one. 'Some band.'
"Uh huh." I felt like I wanted to laugh. I was embarrassed. I signed the slip and another employee bagged up my groceries and set them in the cart with Joel.
"Bye bye." Joel waved to the clerk and bagger. I waved shyly. Lilly looked at me questioningly.
"What, Jess?"
"I got seen."
"Seen? By who?"
"The clerk knew who I was."
"Aww, how cute, was she all giggley? This woman noticed Paul at the doctors office and she was all…all flustered. It was funny."
"She was polite." I explained as we went to the cars. I still felt slightly embarressed.
Lilly smiled at me. "You're like a little kid when you meet fans."
"So." I looked down.
"Well at least you aren't like Joel. He can be kinda cocky about it sometimes." Lilly mocked. " 'uh hey, I'm Joel Madden, I was in Good Charlotte. I'm the shit' "
I laughed. "he does NOT do that"
"Oh yes he does!"
"Momma, Leelee said SHIT!" Joely gasped.
"JOEL!" I stared at my son. "You do NOT repeat that."
"But you told Daddy he cuddint say it."
"I know."
"Leelee shouldn't say it either." Lilly told Joel and then looked at Leah to emphasize her point again.
Lilly and I shook our heads at each other. I headed off to my car on the other end of the lot.
"Saturday, then?"
"Yup!" I waved.
***
I set my nightly reading (scripts) on the counter and poured myself a glass of juice. I slowly began cleaning up the kitchen. Benji was still working I guessed. It was late and he hadn't come home yet. I tried to remember if he said something about staying late when I heard the door. I wrung out my washcloth in the sink.
"Mmm, that smells good." Benji came around the counter and grabbed my waist. He kissed my cheek.
"Hi." I grinned.
"Hi. Is there any for me?"
I nodded, retrieving the plate I served and put away for him earlier, from the microwave. I tore the foil from it and began heating it up.
"The kiddo's all in bed?" He asked.
"Uh huh, Joel fell asleep in his plate; Iz took Polaroid's."
He laughed. "I'm gonna go look in on them before I eat."
"K. I'll be right here." I smiled.
***
Just look at my babies.
Isabel slept like Jessa, on her stomach, hair usually in her face, and drooling. I brushed the hair out of her mouth and kissed her forehead. She groaned and waved her arms in protest.
There were 4 fresh Polaroid's on her dresser next to her camera, all of my baby boy with mashed potatoes in his hair. She must have about a hundred pictures tacked up on the corkboard I put up for her a few months ago.
Joel gave her the camera for her birthday and I had to keep her stocked with film ever since. She even titled her pictures and last week she had a 'show.' She set up the pictures in little groups on her wall and gave her cousins a tour, narrating about what the pictures were. It all went well until Sam yawned and said that her pictures of her my little ponies were stupid. Fighting ensued, little brat. I was a big fan of the 'daddy's Tattwos' collection. But I really liked these new ones and some of Noah sticking his tongue out called 'Noah's Stupid.' She was such a creative kid? Was she really mine?
Ben's door was covered with street signs. "Wrong way" "Do Not Enter" "No Parking". I laughed, reminded me of me. He slept curled up, not quite a fetal position but he crossed his arms over his head and burrowed beneath a covers as if he were protecting himself from an air strike. I couldn't believe how big he was now. How old he was. How old I was. He was 12 years old and in junior high. It was scary. I pulled the covers around him and he shuttered. I mussed his hair as I left.
I ventured into the boys' room next door. Noah always slept so soundly it was scary. I was afraid he'd stop breathing. He always looked so peaceful and serene. His favorite toy, Oscar the Grouch, was on the floor, he probably dropped it. He watched Sesame Street religiously and if Oscar didn't make an appearance, he was crushed. I think he idolized Oscar. Sometimes, he refuses baths because he wants to 'be dirty like Oscar!' He's even caught worms in the backyard and tried to convince his mom that he wanted it as a pet like Slimy. I picked it up and nestled it back in his arms.
I went across the room to Joel's little bed. He'd recently switched to the big boy bed, but I kinda wished he was still in the crib; he slept like a wildman. His blanket was at his feet, one sock was missing and his pj's were crooked. Cookie (Monster that is) was nowhere visible, which was strange. He wanted Oscar too, but Noah complained that Joel was being a 'copier,' so, I got him the cookie monster instead. He WAS a cookie monster. The boy can eat. He ate a dozen cookies once in one sitting. I'm not saying I should have let him, but he did it. 3-years-old, Jessa was right he took after me.
After I took a few minutes to straighten him out and search, I found Cookie on the inside of Joel's pillowcase. How on earth did it get there? I then kneeled down just to watch him sleeping. His little potbelly rising with each little snore. It was the best feeling and sometimes it overwhelmed me, being a father. Knowing that I'd made that little boy and the other little boy on the other side of the room and the little girl on the other side of the wall and the boy in the next room. They were pieces of me and I loved it.
I was an incredibly fortunate man. First I get to make millions doing what I love to do, I get to tour the world and meet some of the most incredible people. Then I meet the woman of my dreams and make her my wife and now we have 4 beautiful children. And to think, I almost killed myself. If I had succeeded there wouldn't be an Isabel Joeny or a Noah Thomas or a Joel Benjamin. Ben would have still been born, but he'd have been an orphan.
I had amazing great kids and an amazing gorgeous wife waiting for me downstairs. I softly shut the door to the boys room and went back down to the kitchen. Jessa was leaning on the counter, reading and picking at my dinner. I wanted to throw her over my shoulder and have my way with her somewhere.
"Hey, baby." I gave her a big kiss. I hated days like these, when we barely saw each other and I missed dinner with the kids, but the label was very busy. At least I wasn't touring anymore. We'd mutually agreed two springs ago to hang up our mics and guitars, Good Charlotte was over. Sure we saw each other all the time, we were brothers. And we'd get together in somebody's living room and sing old songs, all our kids, joining the choruses (you haven't heard "Hold On" until you've heard it from 3, 4, and 5-year-olds). Who knows if in a year we don't all get bored and do a cheesy reunion tour/album. I mean, I stilled played and wrote songs. But for now I was running DC flag with Joel and producing. Currently it was Billy's new band, the Obvious. They were amazing and Billy was excited to be the 'Joel' of the group.
I smiled as I sat on one of the counter stools. She was already in sweats and a form fitting tank, that was driving my crazy, since I could see her nipples through the thin material. The food was good, and I was hungry, but my mind was on pussy. I kept eating though, planning my next moves. Blessing in disguise the kiddos were already asleep, one more barrier we didn't have to cross. We were silent except for her page turning and my jaw.
"Hey, can ya get me a coke babe?" I asked, knowing we kept them in the bottom of the fridge, knowing she'd have to lean down and give me a nice view. She looked up from her book and a strand of thick dark hair fell in her face. She looked incredible.
"Huh?" her lips were like ripe fruit. Red from juice, her eyes wide, eyelashes long. Holy God, this was MY wife. "Magic word?"
"Please." I grinned. She returned it and opened the fridge door. She bent down exactly the way I wanted her to. She moved slowly, like she knew my ruse. Which, I realized she probably did.
"Dirty bastard." She smiled as she set the coke and ice-filled glass on the counter. "shall I shake it up and spray it all over myself, master?"
"You can keep calling me master." I wiggled my eyebrows.
"Yes, master." She popped the can and poured it.
"Whatcha readin'?"
"Script."
"Any good?"
"Not really, but they want Bruce Willis to be in it and I'd love to work with him." she smiled, as she read further.
"You just wanna hear him say 'Yippee-ki-yiy-yay, motherfucker'!"
Jessa giggled. "That's true."
"You gonna do it?"
"I dunno, yet. It's not that great an plus it's an Australian shoot."
"Australia, sounds cool."
"Me away in Oz for FOUR months, though?"
"Ouch." I made a face. "Four?"
"Remember when I went to London last year for 3 weeks? Joel had a fit!"
How could I forget? He cried the entire time and Isabel lost her first tooth, but I forgot and left it under her pillow. Then Sam told her that the tooth fairy doesn't want girls teeth and she cried. Ben had the flu and threw up in the car…twice. Noah was an angel though, he didn't have any events.
"Yeah, but they're older now. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad." I suggested. "We could even fly out and stay awhile. I bet they'd love it."
"I don't wanna be away from home that long. I mean not for this script." She tossed it. "Bruce Willis or not. I got another one, maybe it's better."
"What happened to your script?"
She glared at me.
"Sorry, I asked." I finished my dinner and took my plate to the sink.
***
It bugged me, him bringing it up, but I should be working on it. Instead of taking the easy way out. last year I started working on it and it was very exciting. Then I got the worst case of writer's block ever and surprised Benji when I started taking scripts. I always told him how I could NEVER do someone else's script, and now that's just what I was doing.
"Well, whatever you do will be great." He read my mind and wrapped his arms around me from behind. He kissed my neck and cheek.
"Benji!" I cried out with surprised as he rubbed his hands up and under my shirt. I relaxed to his touch as he peppered my neck with kisses. "Mmm. Hard day at the office?" I smirked turning to him.
"You have no idea." He kissed me roughly, holding my body tightly against his with one hand as the other rolled over my nipple.
"Wanna go upstairs, babe?" I asked lowering my head and using the sex voice.
"No…kitchen floor." He pulled my shirt up, lips attaching to one aroused nipple.
"Benji!? No, what if one of the kids wakes up?" I pulled my shirt back down.
"Then we'll say we're cleaning the floor." He continued kissing me, taking my hand and lacing his fingers with mine.
I couldn’t stop his hand from slipping down the back of my sweatpants and dipping lower, fumbling towards my front. His hands changed direction and he was lifting me on the counter. I wondered what he was doing as he couldn't possibly enter me while he stood on the floor. He touched me and my body tensed with titillation, my head rolled back and banged against the cabinets.
"Ow, Benj."
He ignored me and gently his square fingers parted me, sliding inside and barely having to do anything except brush against the sensitive nerves. I moaned softly with want, he hated it if I whined. He dropped his head, trailing kisses down my stomach, close and closer to where his fingers were busy. He had always been such a tease. My hands reached out to grab hold of something anything, before my body went limp and I fell off the counter.
My hand slipped over the half full glass of cold coke and it toppled on the counter. Icy liquid spilling the length of the counter and gushing down to the floor. I felt it creeping towards me and soaking my pants.
"What the fuck?" Benji stepped back and looked at the mess.
As I got off the counter and fixed my pants, I laughed to myself. Here we were trying to be dirty and naughty in the middle of the kitchen and we spill soda of all things. We hadn't had random room sex in a while and it felt good to know we weren't getting old. But this was terrible, like an omen, 'don't you dare have sex in the kitchen!'
I kissed his cheek and looked down at our mess.
"So I guess we really do need to clean the floor?" I laughed.
"What?" Benji looked kinda pissed off. "Why'd you do that?"
"I couldn't help it babe, you had me a little hot."
"Oh." He suddenly blushed.
He cracked me up sometimes. The things that embarrassed him. How he was ever embarrassed about sex in front of his wife was beyond me, but I guess there's a little bit of innocence left in him.
"So, clean it up." His voice suddenly turned to seduction.
I watched him as a curious smile crept onto my face.
"What do you mean, Benj?"
"Come on, I wanna see you get dirty."
I raised my eyebrows. "You wanna watch me clean the kitchen floor?"
He nodded with a malicious smirk. "On your knees…with gloves…"
"The hot horny housewife?" I bit my lip and my eyes lit up. Kinky.
"Do it Jess." He urged.
"You're filthy, you know that?" I asked carelessly and went to the little cupboard pulling out my "props" I pulled my gloves on slowly and watched Benji's eyes go wide. I made every motion as slow, purposeful and pornographic as possible.
I wiped the sponge slowly across the floor looking up at Benji, with lust filled eyes every few seconds. I could see the excitement growing in his face.
"All done." I said in my most alluring tone. "Anything else I can do for you…Master?"
I stood up on my knees and licked my lips meaningfully.
"Oh Jess, I'm so…"
"Mommy?" a baby voice whined
We froze for a few seconds as Noah walked in rubbing his sleep filled eyes, Oscar hanging limply from his hand. I almost jumped to my feet and tore off the gloves.
"Hey kiddo, what're you doing up?" Benji asked, I guess figuring Noah would be too sleepy to see his father's half-full erection.
"I can't sleep." He squinted in the light.
"C'mon." I straightened his sesame street pajamas. "Let's go back to bed sweetheart." I picked him up and he leaned his sleepy head on my shoulder and hugged me. I turned and looked at Benji. "I'll see you upstairs?"
Benji nodded. Noah waved Oscar at his dad as we left.
***
Jessa quietly shut the bedroom door behind her. She hadn't brought the gloves and the look on her face didn't look full of promise that I was getting some (more) tonight.
"Is he okay?"
She kinda shook her head but nodded.
"He had another nightmare." She sighed and climbed in bed next to me.
"Another one? That's the 3rd one this week." I stared in disbelief. "He's 4-years-old what does can he possibly have nightmares about?"
"It's the 4th and it's always the same thing. He's all alone and he can't find us." she sighed sadly. "It scares me Benji, he's a little boy. He shouldn't be worried about anything. This can't be good for him."
It was beginning to really worry me too. Poor little guy.
"maybe he feels…I dunno a little neglected. Like he doesn't get as much attention as Ben or Iz or Joel."
"Yeah. You think we do that? Give the other kids more attention?"
I nodded. "a little. I mean you baby Joel and…"
"I do not baby him." Jessa defended herself.
"You SO do. Noh's not that much older but you treat him different. I'm not saying we need to baby Noah, he likes to do stuff by himself, but maybe just spend a little more alone time with him."
"ya think?"
"We can try it."
"ok." Jessa made herself a little more comfortable.
"Are you tired, babe?" I asked, a little disappointed. I still did wanna get laid.
"Hmm? Yeah, a little." She shut her eyes a second. "I didn't ask, how's work?"
"Good. We got this really good demo today. Like usually we don't really open the demo's we get but for some reason…"
"Uh huh." She nodded, but I knew she wasn't really listening. It was boring. Just like her tales from the set were boring.
"Joel asked about you today."
"Hmm, what's up?"
"Nothing, he just thinks he never sees you or talks to you or anything."
"Tell him about the invention of the telephone."
I laughed. "Hey, we're supposed to go see this showcase in New York next Sunday."
"So, you're going out of town next weekend?" She became much more awake. "Damn it, you know I hate it when you do that. You always tell me at the last minute Benj."
"No, hey I wanted you to come with me Jess. Take a little trip, get away from the kiddos for a bit, go to a concert, stay in a hotel, ya know?"
"And where are the kids gonna go? Pawn them off on your mother? For a whole weekend?"
"There's Alex."
"Benj, she's 7 months pregnant and has two of her own, she does not need to deal with Noah and Joel, and Isabel taking pictures of everything and Ben moping…he's such a teenager Benj, seriously. And she'll be all alone right, I mean Joel's going to the showcase."
"What about Lilly and Paul?"
"I dunno Benj, it's asking a lot for any of our friends to take care of 4 kids for a weekend. Especially our kids."
"Well, I just wanna do this. I wanna have you alone."
"We're alone now." she pointed out.
"No Jess, away from all this. No babies waking up with nightmares, nobody we got keep quiet for."
"Baby it sounds great but we have kids now…it's not possible. We're not boyfriend and girlfriend anymore, we have responsibilities."
I sighed angrily and crossed my arms. "Fine."
***