Part 6|Sins of the Past
She had stumbled over to me on the couch in the suite at the hotel. An odd, playful grin spread across her face as she approached. The tequila must have been too much for her, but she shouldn't have been playing quarters.

"Hey, baby." She sighed as she hunkered down next to me. She leaned her head on my shoulder.

She began sucking on my neck. I didn't move to stop her right away even though every part of me told me I should.

"Mmm, Joel." She crooned into my ear, obviously, not noticing my pierced ears as she flicked her tongue over them.

Lucy thought I was Joel. She rubbed her hand over my shirt and pinched my nipples through the cotton. I let her and didn't say a word as she moved her lips around my neck to massage my opposite lobe with her tongue.

Lucy giggled, warm breath swaying the little hairs on my neck.

"Touch me, baby."

I complied, grasping her waist and pulling her close to me. She continued kissing my neck and soon I found myself replying to her pecks with kisses of my own on her neck and exposed parts of her shoulders. It was something undeniably wrong, but it felt good.

"Oh, Joel." She whispered with pleasure as my hands found her breasts and fondled them through her thin blouse.

The words stung. I had to stop. I shouldn't be doing this. Lucy was going to marry my brother, some day soon and here I was, taking advantage of her.

"Lucy…" I started taking my hands from her breasts.
"Jo-oel!" She whined and straddled me, my startled body responded and Lucy smiled wickedly down at me. "That's better."
"No, Luce."
"Shhh." Lucy cooed and gently nuzzled my neck, flicking her hot tongue on my neck and around my ears.
"Lucy stop."

I seized her wrists to hold her away from me, looking into her eyes, hoping she'd see how un-Joel I am, hoping she'd realize her mistake and stop teasing me with her body, making me increasingly hard.

She didn't look back into my eyes with recognition, only a blank, hurt stare.

"God!" Lucy pulled herself off of me. "I hate when you act like Benji!"
"What do you mean, like Benji?" I asked, anger starting to form in my mind.
"All macho and asshole. Your brother is such a fucking prick. He's so rude, I mean, how could he possibly ever think I'd want him?"

I stared at her with disgust, my lip curled.

"Maybe I'm an asshole, but at least I know who I am trying to fuck?"
"What?"
"I am Benji you fucking moron!"
"What? Benji?"
***
Joel, Joel, Joel, Joel, Joel. Joel, Joel, Joel, Joel.

My constant mantra. It was a beautiful word. So was forever. And marriage, and husband, and wife, but most beautiful was Joel. Joel, Joel, Joel, Joel, Joel. I said it more to convince myself. This was the right thing. It was.

"Luuuuucy!" Joel's voice rang through the hotel room.

I grinned at my reflection in the mirror.

"Are you decent?" he asked, but I knew he'd prefer it if I wasn't.

I slammed the bathroom door shut before he had the chance to peek in and find out.

"Go away, Joel. It's bad luck to see the bride before the wedding."
"So I'll close my eyes…c'mon Lucy…" He rapped once on the door.
"Nope." I shook my head knowing he couldn't see me.
"Okay, I just wanna tell you something." I could hear him pressing his weight against the door. I leaned mine against my side.
"What?" I asked closing my eyes and smiling the only way you can when you're in love.
"I love you."

I shut my eyes even tighter. Joel. Joel, Joel, Joel, Joel, Joel.

In half an hour I was gonna be somebody's wife. I was gonna be Joel's wife!

After everything. After fights, after lies, after thoughts and feelings beyond my control, I was gonna be his wife.
***
In 15 minutes, Joel was gonna marry Lucy. And what was I gonna do to stop it? Nothing. What could I do? Tell Joel about last night? Would he understand?

Of course not.

Your girlfriend, your fiancée, thought I was you. She kissed me and I just about fucked her. We didn't, but don't marry her, okay. I mean, when do I come off as the good brother?

But last night I learned about the real Lucy. The Lucy who's unashamed of hurting my brother. The Lucy who lies to him.
***
"Yeah, I'm Benji! How could you NOT know?" He screamed at me.

The truth was I didn't have any idea it was Benji and that was bad. How could I marry someone and not be able to tell him apart from his brother?

"Are you gonna say anything?"
"Like what?"
"How 'bout, 'sorry Benji'?"
"You seemed to enjoy yourself." I shrugged.

Benji sighed aggravated and rolled his eyes.

"Lucy…"
"I'm tired Benji." I cut him off.
"Tired?" Benji crossed his arms and stared at me confused.
"Yeah. I think that tequila is getting to me."
"Stupid cunt." He spat.

I smacked him so that my hand made that wonderful snap against his skin.

"Don't you call me that?"
"Why not? You are a stupid cunt!"

I slapped him again. Satisfied with the red hand print I left there.

"Do you even love Joel at all?"
"Of course I do!"
"Then why aren’t you more concerned?"
"Benji it was an honest mistake. If anybody should feel guilty it's you."
"So you're going to tell Joel then, right?"
"Why?"

Benji threw his arms in the air.

"Why? WHY? Because you almost fucked his brother. Don't you feel bad, at all?"

Of course I felt bad. But I wasn't about to tell Joel about all this. It was only gonna hurt his feelings so why bother?

"Look there a lot of things I don't tell Joel, it’s no big deal."

Benji stared at me incredulously.

"What? What don't you tell him?"
"Nothing nevermind."
"No." Benji grabbed my arm.

I fought out of his grasp, but he gripped my arm tighter.

"Benji let go."
"No."
"Let go of me!"

Benji finally released me. I glared at him.

"Ya know, I should have known it was you and not Joel. I mean your dick is like half sized." I looked at his crotch and made a tiny measure with my thumb and forefinger.
***
The "your dick is really tiny" part, was the part that really set me off. I'd turned and let her leave then. And I guess that was when she ran into Joel and he decided they should get married while we're still in New York.

And that stupid bitch agreed to it. Of course she would. It was scary the way she could get taken advantage of and I guess that's one of the things Joel liked about being with her. Getting to play superman.

And here we are now in the back of the cab. Joel will marry Lucy and be none the wiser that his brother had fondled the same breasts I'm sure Joel had fondled and kissed the same neck and lips and shoulders, only hours before. Joel will be happy in love and Lucy forever taken care of, forever a lying bitch. Forever, my sister-in-law.
***
"Whore!" the little girl yelled. She must have been 13 years old.

I glanced at her sideways and kept walking.

"Bitch." She yelled.

I bit my lip and tried to ignore her. I showed my pass to the big security guard and headed into the building. It was much warmer inside. A lot warmer than the bus. I hated those little girls. Yelling at me. Why couldn't they just leave me alone?

I looked at the ring on my finger. It was so pretty and it meant something. Regardless of what "those" girls wanted to say, I belonged to Joel and he belonged to me. Husband and wife, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part. I grinned inside.

"Hey kiddo." Paul swung his arm around my shoulder.
"Sup?" I smiled.

He released me and shook his head.

"I miss Anna."
"Aww, Paul, why don't you call her?" I reached into my pocket. "Here, go ahead and use my phone."

He smiled when he took it and I continued walking.

"Where are you going?"
"To find Joel."

He nodded and walked down the hall and out of the building as he began dialing.

"Luuucy!" Joel appeared behind my shoulder, followed by Benji.
"Hi," I grinned as Joel wrapped his arms around my shoulder.

Benji rolled his eyes.

"So, I'm gonna do some laundry. I need socks. You need anything washed?" Joel asked.

Benji scoffed and crossed his arms.

"What Benji?" I asked disgusted.
"Can't Lucy wash her own damn socks?"

I sneered at him.

"Joel, has other things to worry about than dirty socks. So why don't you do your job." Benji glared at me.
"Don't you think that's kinda sexist?"
"No." Benji spat. "You're a grown woman. You should know how to do laundry."

I made a face at him and looked at Joel.

"I need clean clothes. Socks especially." He pleaded.
"So go wash some, I'm not stopping you."
"Well it wouldn't kill you to do some once and awhile, Luce." Joel suggested, harshly.
"Oh, okay, take his side." I yelled.
"His side?" Joel raised an eyebrow. "Look I'm not on anybody's side, babe, but that stuff isn't that hard. I mean, you could at least try to do the wife thing."
"This is unbelievable!" I threw my arms in the air. "The 'wife thing', Joel?"

Benji smirked.

"Lucy, your out here with me and that's great, but fuck you can't even do anything but bitch and moan."
"Bitch and Moan, when have I ever bitched and moaned?"
"It would help me out if you could do laundry and stuff like that. Instead of…"
"Just standing there!" Benji added.
"I just need a little bit from you, baby." Joel pleaded with his eyes. "Wash me some socks could you?"
"NO!" I shouted.
"Why the fuck not?" Joel turned to anger again.
"Because I'm your wife, not your maid."
"Please Lucy. I'm asking you for something simple. What else do you have to do?"

I sighed, exasperated.

"Fuck you." I screamed.
***
By the time, I reached the bus full blown tears had formed. Joel hadn't followed me. He followed stupid ass back into the venue. I couldn't believe he would say those things to me. Joel must have been talking to Benji. Benji was always trying to poison Joel against me.

Paul was in the back of the bus playing some video game.

"Lucy?" He looked up at me and I turned my head, sniffing up my tears.

Please God, don't let me cry in front of Paul.

"Hey, are you okay?" he paused his game.
"Uh huh." I tried, but tears kept falling down.
"Um," Paul awkwardly stood up. "Maybe I should…"
"No. Stay Paul." I sat down.

Paul sat down again. We were quiet.

"So, what happened?" Paul asked concerned.

I shook my head. Paul seemed to be okay with me not talking, but I could tell he felt extremely awkward.

"Oh, thanks for letting me use your phone. Anna wasn't home." He pulled it out of his pocket and handed it back to me.

"Oh," I sniffed. "I'm sorry."

Paul shook his head as if to say 'it's alright.'

"Joel and I had a fight."
"Oh, is that all?" Paul almost laughed.

I looked stunned at him. It might not have been a big deal to Paul, but it was to me.

"Sorry." Paul looked at his feet. "Look don't let him make you feel bad. Men are jerks, I would know."
"It's not Joel, it's Benji."
"Well there you go. Benji's a dick." Paul told me and I laughed. "See now you're smiling."

I smiled wider.

"Look, you're newlyweds. You're gonna fight. Anna and I used to fight all the time. I mean, once we had this huge fight about bacon. It went on forever." "We fought about socks." I giggled.

Paul smiled at me and laughed along. Paul was the sweetest. I leaned over to give him a friendly appreciative kiss.

When my lips touched his I was surprised to feel Paul putting pressure against my lips, kissing back. He turned his head only slightly and kissed me further. I liked it and returned his passion. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me closer to him as I slid my tongue into his mouth.

Paul wanted me. This was completely different than Joel. I let his tongue wrestle mine. I let him put his hands on my thigh and slide it up far enough to squeeze my ass. I got extremely excited by the touch of another man and I knew right then I was gonna fuck Paul.

"What else do you have to do?" Joel had asked. I have to do Paul.

In two quick movements I took off my panties and unbuckled his belt. Paul didn't protest as I slid his pants down and mounted him. He was already rock hard to my delight because I was intensely hot inside. I slowly ground my pelvis with his and heard him groan beneath me.

Paul grasped my hips, inching my short skirt up my thighs and guided himself inside me. I sighed in appreciation. This was the first time I was having sex with someone other than Joel. Paul felt different, but Paul felt good and I pushed myself onto his lap.

"Lou-cee." Was Paul's strangled response.

I pushed down and rocked my hips over Paul. I shut my eyes and moaned. The sensation Paul's wide hands cradling my back and leading my body to his was incredible. Paul groaned and begged for me to "ride" him and "fuck" him hard. For the first time, I felt in control. I felt…lusted. I liked that feeling.

This was not something of necessity. Paul and I were here of our own accord. Nothing was making us do this. There was complete freedom.

"Paul!" I moaned as he finally released.

I sighed exhausted against his shoulder. Paul's heart was beating fast.

"Ah, fuck Lucy." Paul had his eyes closed and he dropped his head back.

I laid against his shoulder, still joined with him for what seemed like a long time.

"Luce." Paul frowned. "Get up. Get off of me."

He reached down the floor and picked up his pants. He found my panties and handed them to me.

"Paul." I was beginning to feel really stupid.
"What?" He growled. Rubbing his hair harshly.
"Was that…Was that wrong?"

He stared at me for a few seconds.

"We shouldn't have done that Lucy." He finally said. He still sounded angry.

I hung my head.

"Are you mad at me?" I asked earnestly.
"Mad at you?" Paul almost laughed.
"I'm sorry Paul." I apologized quickly.
"Lucy." He sighed. "Don't be sorry."
"But…"
"Lucy!" He said, even more demanding. "Don't be sorry, okay. I'm not mad at you. I'm mad at myself."
"Why?"
"Cause I liked it."

I moved closer to him and stroked his arm. I leaned close to his ear.