He threw his jacket on the bed.  Hard.  His heaving chest and heavy breathing echoed loudly in the room.  He angrily stood, just clenching his fists as he glared at the hotel room wall.

* Of course I used you.  Why else would anyone want you?

              His hands clutched his head as he tried to drive her haunting words, her fiery red curls and vibrant green eyes.  He had thought she was everything he could ever want; but she was fake, as fake as her smile and…  The more he willed her away, the more the memories came.  He threw himself upon the bed, staring at the foreign New Zealand skyline.

~FLASHBACK~ Earlier that evening

              “Ashley, open up, love.  It’s me.  I know you’re in there,” he knocked on her door.

His familiar girlfriend opened the door and he smiled.  She had wonderful taste in lingerie.  Then another face appeared, a man’s face, and his entire world crashed around him.

              “ You…you,” he stumbled over words in anger

              “ Bitch?  Of course.  I do what I have to,” her musical laugh now grated on his nerves.

              She kissed her new lover’s cheek before he moved out of their way.  He could only stare in rage at her.

              “ What?  Do you think your bed was exclusive?  You may be a big Hollywood star, but there are hundreds,” Ashley’s smug smile and beady green eyes showed only the pleasure she took in his pain.

              “ I can’t believe you,” his usually non-existent accent clipped his words.

              “ It’s ok, love.  You’ll get over it,” Ashley cupped his cheek, “ Now come inside.”

              “ You used me?” his brown eyes searched hers.

              He should have never chanced this.  He should have stayed on set with Natalie, someone safe, and never chanced this relationship in the first place.

              “ Of course I used you.  Who else would want you?  You have plenty to be desired of.  Especially in bed,” Ashley remarked.

              “ GO to hell.”

And he walked away, not really knowing what he was doing.  Everything was so messed up.  Never again, he vowed.  Her laughter followed him into the elevator.  She lounged in the door, watching him.  He pressed the button to his floor and watched the doors close on her.  Forever.

~End Flashback~

              He punched the pillow and turned over, flipping off the lamp.

              “ Never,” he whispered.

One tear streaked down his cheek.  He buried his face in the pillows as emotion shook his body.  For the first time in his life, he cried.