Species:
?????
Gender: Male
Height: 2.02 meters (in armor), 1.75 meters (after he has his horns trimmed)
Weapon: Lightsaber
Affiliation: The Evil Dairy Empire
Milk, Dark Chocolate
Like every great (or semi-great) super villain, most of Dark Chocolate Milk's past is shrouded in mystery. It's understandable for this arch-nemesis because (don't tell anyone) this is actually his first supervillain gig. But, in hs own words, "It beats working at Wal-Mart." Dark Chocolate was once one of the fabled Comedi Knights, masters of the Farce and protectors of all humor in the galaxy. But he chose to turn to the chocolate milk side of the Farce, and became an agent of evil and bad taste. The Evil Dairy Empire entrusted him with the elimination of the Comedi Knights. During these dark (and also rather boring, which is why it's not in the movie) times, Dark Chocolate and his agents (nearly) destroyed the Comedi order.
While the Really Really Big Space War raged across the galaxy, Dark Chocolate Milk was charged by his master, the Evil Ice Cream Man, with discovering the location of the Rebel Alliance's secret base. Dark Chocolate captured Rebel operative Princess Cinnabun and had her tortured to reveal the location of the hidden fortress. Dark Chocolate also sought vital technical plans stolen by the Rebels. These plans carried the complete schematics of the Empire's most powerful bovine superweapon, the Death Cow battle station. When a ragtag (ok, maybe that's an understatement) rescue team successfully liberated the princess, Dark Chocolate found himself face to face with his former Comedi master, Oldy Moldy Colby.
The rest remains a mystery (and I don't feel like explaining the whole dang thing), just like the reason for why he hires Cowtroopers that are complete idiots.
(Of course.....there could be more to it than that. What is Dark Chocolate Milk's true past and identity? Well, obviously you'll have to see the movie, you nincompoop!)