You move to Bulgaria in hopes of being closer to where him.
You develop a Bulgarian accent because you find it sexy.
You immediately fall in love with any man named Viktor, and it's an added bonus if his last name is Krum.
You are attracted to surly men with black hair.
You begin a hunt to find Hogwarts so that you can find the library and FINALLY see and touch the bench where he sat while he was at Hogwarts.
After you finally find Hogwarts, you gone a search to find any book that he was reading so that you could see if he left any evidence that he had been handling it, such as finger prints, spit stains, and the occasional pencil marking.
You read the Yule Ball chapter over and over again.
When you're bored, you decide to go into your room and make out with your many pictures of Viktor.
You freak out when people spell his name "Victor."
You spend hours each days looking for websites that have good stuff about Viktor Krum.
You write fanfictions where he is good and not ruddy in character.
You have a Viktor Krum website.
You're reading this list.
You're enjoying this list.
He was Durmstrang's Champion, which means he's smart.
He took Hermione to the dance, and if he's good enough for her, he's good enough for us.
He's hot as hell! (I'm thinking a younger Gavin Rossdale!)
He's in love with Hermione, not because she's a hottie, but because she's intelligent and sweet. How many celebrities are like that?
He has the sexiest accent. (Viktor: "I haff no clothes on!")
He plays a great game of Quidditch.
He's willing to make sacrifices to bring some sort of victory to his team and people. (That amazing catch at the Quidditch World Cup.)
He turned his head into a shark's just for the woman he loved! Isn't that romantic? *swoons*
He's sort of na´ve (and that's kind of cute).
He's so shy! SQUEEEE!
He doesn't brag about how many trophies he has or how big his package is.
He doesn't feel Hermione up in the middle of the Great Hall.
He wants to leave his evil school and go to Hogwarts. (Hmmmmm, new Quidditch coach? No no, I got it! Sex Ed Teacher! "Now class, this is called the 'Veelbarrow'.......")
He swallows his pride.
Tall, dark, and self-loathing...Who can resist a man like that?
He hates Karkaroff! (That's my boy!)
He and Hermione would have such cute kids! (Big brown eyes, black curls...awwwwww!)
He has cool initials. (Ok, I know that's a dumb reason, but you get my point! HE'S A COOL GUY!!!)
You should love him because Theresa and I say so, damnit!! And if you don't, we'll come over and throw cookie dough at you.
The Fanfiction Personae of Viktor Krum
by Miss Yetigoosecreature
RandomlyAbusive!Viktor (Hermione needs rescuing!)
ThickAsAPost!Viktor (Huh? I seem to have acquired a brain
injury since the Tournament...)
HardOfHearing!Viktor (Could you say your name one more
SuddenlySwaggering!Viktor (I've decided I'm the greatest
thing since sliced bread! Fall down and vorship me!)
MyAccentIsCompletelyWrong!Viktor (He suddenly becomes
French for an inexplicable reason. Or substitutes random v's for every
OverlyPossessive!Viktor (Hermione needs rescuing! Again!)
(Hermione, I've decided I only like Swedish Supermodels. It's been real.
I went to Durmstrang! And I'm Slavic! Don't I haff to be evil?)
(Go on, Hermione, I just want you to be happy. I'll be over here committing
NobleCannonFodder!Viktor (I'll throw myself in front of the AK or die defending Durmstrang...)
Viktor's New Year's Resolutions
by Miss Yetigoosecreature
Ask that girl "Vhat's up vith the Bulgarian scarf,
already? I mean, vhat vas the thought process? Did you think I vas going to
come leaping out of the stacks saying 'You are vearing the colors of my
native country! I shall snog you fiercely now, and vhisk you avay to the
Yule Ball!' I mean, honestly!"
No more interviews with Rita Skeeter. On a related
note, squish all suspect, unidentifiable creepy-crawlies without prejudice.
Tell next person who asks "Why don't you get your
nose fixed?" "I haff two vords for you. Michael Jackson."
Work on posture. Stop slouching.
Look up the word "grumpy". Oh. Try not to look quite
Get t-shirt made which reads Slavic != Automatically
Evil. Or alternatively "So, how many Durmstrang students have tried to kill
Harry Potter? I'm waiting..." Or possibly "I am not grumpy, this is my game
Add robes to wardrobe that are not red. I'm so sick
Absolutely no more catching Bludgers with my face...
And clean up before heading to the Top Box. You never know who might be
Stop snickering whenever anyone mentions the phrases
"Beater's Club", "broom handle", or "magic wand". Stop listening when the
Weasley twins are making innuendo. Stop snickering at the word "innuendo".
Stop thinking about which English words sound funny.
Attempt to make more small talk. At least two
sentences a day!
Read up on Advanced Transfiguration. Again.
Cancel subscription to Daily Prophet. (Scandal
Write letters. Looong letters. Read letters. Looong
Look into strength and endurance training for the owl.
Practice that darned Corporeal Patronus. Think happy
thoughts. About ... someone.
No more storing wand in my back pocket. I hear you
could lose a buttock that way.
Avoid portrait of Sirius Black's mother.
Particularly on dates.
Investigate the history of dentistry. Particularly
anything about oversized front teeth...
Long i, long o. -knee. Long i, long o, -knee...
Write letter of appreciation to Sleekeazy for making
such a fine product. Same for Madam Malkin's.
Investigate correspondence courses in "Muggle
Studies" to fill in gaps in education.
Purchase Bulgarian-English unabridged dictionary.
Put next to writing desk.
Buy atlas. Attempt to locate all the lakes and mountains. In Britain.