Buffy The Vampire Slayer RPG
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Little Jimmy had a cussing problem and his father was getting tired of it. He decided to ask his shrink what to do. The shrink said, "Since Christmas is coming up, you should ask Jimmy what he wants Santa to bring him. If He cusses while he tells you his wish list, leave a pile of dog shit in place of the gifts he requests." Two days before Christmas, Jimmy's father asked him what he wanted for Christmas. "I want a friggin' teddy bear laying right beside me when I wake up. When I go downstairs I want to see a damn train going around the fucking Christmas tree. And when I go outside I want to see a friggin' bike leaning up against the garage." On Christmas morning, little Jimmy woke up and rolled over into a pile of dog shit. Confused, he walked downstairs and saw another pile under the tree. Scratching his head, he walked outside and saw a huge pile of dog shit by the garage. When Jimmy walked back inside with a curious look on his face, his dad smiled and asked, "What did Santa bring you this year?" Jimmy replied, "I think I got a dog but I can't find the son of a bitch!"
A little guy goes into an elevator, looks up and sees this HUGE guy standing next to him. The big guy sees the little guy staring at him, looks down and says, "7 feet tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch penis, 3 lb. left testicle, 3 lb. right testicle, Turner Brown." The small guy faints dead away and falls to the floor. This big dude kneels down & brings him to, slapping his face and shaking him, "What's wrong with you?" In a very weak voice, the little guy says, "Excuse me, but what EXACTLY did you say to me?" The big dude says, "I saw the curious look on your face and figured I'd just give you the answers to the questions everyone always asks me. I'm 7 feet tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch penis, 3 lb. left testicle, 3 lb. right testicle, and my name is Turner Brown." The small guy says, "Thank God! I thought you said Turn Around."
One day a blonde calls her friend and says, "I need you to come over and help me solve this puzzle." He says, "What's it a puzzle of?" She replies, "From the box, it looks like a tiger." So, thinking himself to be a rather good puzzle person, he shows up at her house and she shows him to the table where all of the puzzle pieces are scattered across the table. The friend takes a look at the puzzle pieces, and then at the box, then back at the pieces, then turns to his blonde friend and says: "First, no matter what I do, I'm not going to be able to show you how to assemble these to look like the picture of that tiger. Secondly, go get a cup of coffee, and put all of these pieces back in the Frosted Flakes box."
A little kid steps onto a city bus and sits right behind the driver and starts yelling "If my dad was a bull and my mom a cow I'd be a little bull". The driver starts getting mad at the noisy kid... who continues with "If my dad was an elephant and my mom a girl elephant I would be a little elephant". The kid goes on with several animals until the bus driver gets angry and yells at the kid, "What if your dad was gay and your mom was a prostitute?". The kid smiles and says, "I would be a bus driver!"
