The Lives We Lead
Mood:  don't ask
Topic: Poetry
everyday,
thoughts collide
emotions are laid
in the concrete of our minds

questions posed
we answer
as best we can

daily walk
with thoughts
at random come
like tears placed down
it is at once I realized

the lives we lead
shall never be easy
for then what would be the use
easy come, easy go
or so I have been told

I open myself up
to inspect that which
lies therein
finding open wounds
and festering soes

I now offer myself
to die at your hand
fatal blows I did once give
I take them in return
and envelope them in

from your eyes
I saw tears fly
I saw also
the pain
the fright
your body armor weaken



until at last
I gave up
I offered myself
gave up everything
to attain the help you needed

it is true, a lot of past pain
I caused, I made
but also I laid my soul bare
told all that had happened
left no stone unturned

it left my body and mind weakened
in a state of fright
I fled from the demons
that chased me

I took to the hills
from whence help did come
I laid down with sinners
mere men and women
bent from storms
sleet and wind.

they asked me no questions
I told them no lies
I returned
to die another day

Many years have past
since the present was made
in a backyard,oceans of grain
bedrooms doors sealed shut
against the tears of pain

I have known many
friends and enemies alike
they both had their tales to spin

it is recently I realized
I no longer am the vagabond
the transient in the night
I no longer pass through life
unconnected.
but I align myself
to understand all mysteries
to open them I must

the lives we lead
are but for a while
then to begin again

I give of myself
to receive blows from your pen
cutting me deeply
I lie prostate
taking it all in

I question
the past
as I relive all
that was given

I now know that
the lives we lead
are not in vain
it is merely
what we do with it

At A Loss Of Life
Mood:  hug me
Now Playing: introverted
Topic: Poetry
Living life
burnt at both ends
asking of powers that be
to offer a reprieve

I need answers
from the demons in my head
answers to the questions of
is this the way it has to be

few safe places,
fewer yet , in darkest alleys
seldom finding them
safe enough to lay my head

parallel, side wise
against the grain
seldom retreat from
my life
that as spun
uncontrollable pain

inside outside
is it raining
or do I care

so many tears
so many fears
so few shelters
to weather life's storms

I ask of you to see
me not as I may appear
on any given day
but how I look on the inside

the me that is looking out
of tear soaked window pains
missing shutters
the shingles that flap in the breeze

yes all of these things
are what makes up the
soul of me
So often when I acknowledge
the effects
of life in general
I am at a loss of life
to questions posed
or so it seems

Echoes of Roses
Topic: Poetry
blood red roses
hunter green leaves
thorns prick my fingers
I too bleed

Once I walked by
a cemetery, brittle and dry
roses beheaded
I cried out
as did my soul yearn

Abandoned trellis
guillotines of guilt
no life to give
tears did flow
like lasts nights wine

echoes of roses
call to me
from flower beds
of days gone by
where flowers
no longer reside
and only despair
to ask for my bride

Truth
Mood:  on fire
Topic: Quote
It is in our darkness that we find our truth.
~ Kenneth Robinson

Put Your Best Foot Forward
Mood:  sharp
Topic: Educational
How many of us consider ourselves spiritual beings without fully understanding what it means to be so? Is it a daily walk with our spiritual selves? Do we connect to the powers that be only on the weekends or maybe we are spiritual when it is convenient for us to do so. I feel that for a lot of people to be spiritual is harder said then done, so many things get in the way, work, kids, family etc. Do we try to intellectualize it rather than just do it. Most all religions or rather spiritual paths involve some form of faith, blind or otherwise. It is hard to have faith in something even more so have faith in ourselves. In my mind to be spiritual is to acknowledge the basic premise that all things are connected to one another, everything is involved in the cyclic flow. The rain, the sun, the wind, the four legged, the winged ones. Even us higher thinking beings, or are we? A good portion of the population of this world live their entire lives with out even the most basic of faith in themselves, they allow society to point them in the way they should go. Never question the intentions behind it, much more infrequent do they consider the energies that are all around, be it the spiritual, physical, mental/emotional. I do feel that the most prevalent of all is in the negative as unfortunate as it may be. It is much easier to be negative in regards to our lives then it is to be positive. Many more incidents arise that are negative then do the positive. It does not have to be that way. We have total control over how we deal with the negativity that arises. We awake in the morning, how often do we view it with regret for lost sleep, or with the reasoning of ' I wonder what kind of problems will come up today?'. So often we start the day from the time we get up in the morning with a negative thought, which without a conscience effort on our parts will not get resolved but added too. Granted to take something that is negative and turn it to positive is difficult but not altogether impossible. When you awake instead of regretting it, be thankful that you are awake to meet another day, for it is a new dawn, I like to think of it as a rebirth from the death of the day before. Not unlike spiritual death that can become rebirth. That may be the main cause of most negative thinking, we have lost touch with our spirits. Forgotten what it is to be in touch daily with the powers that be. I have heard many people say ' if only I could go back I would do so many things different, I would not act this way, would not have said that'. On a personal note I feel that what could have happened did happen. So many times we look back on our lives and the negative emotions, the negative times in our lives that for some reason we are so fond of revisiting, not realizing that is where a good portion of the negativity comes from. We try to use our past to determine our future, often I have said that ' if it were not for the boy I was yesterday I could not be the man I am today. I have taken ( in many aspects) the past painful memories I keep that could possibly be harmful and I have examined them to realize that I have learned a great many things about not only myself but the world in general. Our perception of the past is not necessarily how it was, just as our perception of our future does not justify what may come. If we perceive ourselves as failing then that is what will be. Since we are putting forth the negative thought of failure before we have started what is the use of beginning. We need to be able to visualize ourselves succeeding in order to succeed, keep in mind that does mean to say that in every endeavor we try, we will be be victorious but in the end at least you will know that you gave it your best. I know that when I was younger ( not that I am old now) I often heard others say 'put your best foot forward'2 , at the time I really had no idea what that meant other than the thought that one of my feet were worse off than the other. I have come to realize that it had a great deal of truth behind it, mainly meaning to not focus on your downfalls ( negative thinking) and concentrate instead on your positive attributes. It is in that way that we can begin to rid ourselves of negativity, by not focusing so much on the past and the coulds or could nots. Whether the past is years ago or only moments, it is still in the past, like a person wiser than myself once said ' once bread is baked you can not un-bake it. Life is like that we make mistakes and bake our bread with the recipes we have then regret that we ever baked in the first place. That is how life is lived and mistakes are made for better or for worse. But the important part of it is that you give it your best and put your best foot forward. peace be with; Tom Vaughan

What is freedom?
Mood:  not sure
What excatly is freedom and are we really living a free life in the land of the free. It seems to me that our freedoms are hard won, but easily lost. Such as the freedom of choice eg., a womens choice of abortion as opposed to the fetus's right to life, a persons choice to smoke as it is hinged on other peoples right not to smoke. As a man more wiser than I has said, " Were your rights begin, do my rights cease to exist?"

( to be continued)

Mood:  sharp
~ Oh how I long to be ignorant of all lies, and live life in its purest of forms, but alas I am but a humble writer of words and no answers have I.~
~ Thomas Vaughan

Lover No More
I took the time
to place bandages of armor
around fragile remains

I offered up beauty
where you beleived that
ugliness did reign

On glinting wings of gossamer satin
with every heartbeat
your mental state withdraw
into a world of its on design

I did what I could
but two souls once joined
swiftly departed
and your friend nor you lover
I was destined to not be