JOKES
String Theory
A string walks into a bar with a few friends and
orders a beer. The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we
don't serve strings here."
The string walks away a little upset and sits down
with his friends. A few minutes later he goes back to
the bar and orders a beer. The bartender, looking a
little exasperated, says, "I'm sorry, we don't serve
strings here."
So the string goes back to his table. Then he gets an
idea. He ties himself in a loop and messes up the top
of his hair. Then he walks back up to the bar and
orders a beer.
The bartender squints at him and says, "Hey, aren't
you a string?"
And the string says, "Nope, I'm a frayed knot."
Stumpy Legged Pink Dog
A guy walks into a bar with his dog on a leash the
barman says, “Geez that's a weird dog: he's stumpy-
legged, pink, and doesn't have a tail, but I bet my
rottweiler would beat the heck out of it.”
50 bucks is laid down. Out in the yard the rottweiler
gets mauled to pieces.
Another drinker says his pit bull will win but the bet
is 100 bucks.
Another trip to the yard and when it's all over there
are bits of pit-bull terrier all over the place. The
drinker pays up and says, “Say what breed is that
anyway?”
The owner says, “Until I cut his tail off and painted
it pink it was the same breed as every other
alligator.”
Magical Wish
One day, down in the mystical forest, a magical frog
was hopping towards a water hole. The forest
was so enormous that the frog had never laid eyes
on another animal before. But today, by chance a
bear was chasing after a rabbit to have for
dinner.
The frog called for the two to stop and said, "Because
you are the only two animals I have seen, I will
grant both of you three wishes. Bear, you can go
first." The bear thought for a moment, and being
the male he was, said, "I wish for all the bears
in this forest, apart from me, to be female."
For his wish, the rabbit asked for a crash helmet, and
immediately put it on. The bear was amazed at
the stupidity of the rabbit, wasting his wish like
that.
It was the bear's second turn for a wish. "Well, I
wish that all the bears in the next forest were
female as well."
The rabbit asked for a motorcycle and immediately
hopped on it and roared the engine. The bear was
shocked that the rabbit was asking for such idiotic
items, because after all, he could have asked for
money and bought the bike.
For the last wish the bear thought for a while and
then said, "I wish that all the bears in the world,
apart from me, were female."
The rabbit grinned, roared the engine, and said, "I
wish that the bear was gay."
