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fuck me hate date me rape me
use me abuse me  fear me touch me with your scarred hands make me know the bleeding skin will be seared tear me down with just your eyes I'm gullible just so you know I trust in all your lies don't try to be me friend don't unlock the doors that nobody has been in push down on me make me beg like a dog humiliate me whip ,e with all your vengeful words that sting like venom spewing the hate that brings to attention my each and every sin make me bleed make sure I know that's the design that means I am woman feed my need to know who I am and what my role in life is meant to be punch me in the face get my adrenaline starting to race break my spirit and will within kick me when I am down make me taste my own blood and the ground where I fall piss on me while I lay here curled in a ball walk away make me beg and plead my hunger is satiated only by the blood I bleed so beautiful and read make sure I am barely living and mostly dead break me anyway you desire let me know with each step I take I am walking further into the fire you can't make me bleed just enough how come nobody told me that love could be so tough my thoughts have become so clear while I am laying here drowning in my own blood and tears just like and old tire I have seen and experienced more than a kid should in such short years you have been coming home so late you smell like sex and you only come to me to get what you couldn't get on your last date this was and is fate this time when you're gone and I am left in the dark I promise to you that by the next time when you come back around my way you will be happy to see that now you're free because after you left me there alone lost in my thoughts I took that gun and pointed it into my mouth hoping to shoot out the contents held within and then I hear your voice begin to say you can't die this way you got to do it right so when the cops find me tonight you will be proud to know I heard you and left the way you wanted me to gutted like a pig my insides spilled and turned inside out just like I felt my whole life people can only speculate as to why but how little do they realize there's a lot about my life they didn't know because when I had stepped out into the light I hid the bruises and scars so nobody could see what you made of me constant lies spilled out over your lips trying to protect what had become left of your pride and honor now I wonder what for what had been in it for me you made me feels things I hadn't felt before but that doesn't matter as they put their tags on my toe listing me as just yet another Jane doe knowing that nobody would come and lay claim to me because I never cried out loud so they wouldn't know that even in death I never made a sound click there goes the morgue door out of sight out of mind forgotten forever more but they couldn't hear the tears I could finally cry to bad that for me to cry I had to die it was my only sanctuary in a life that had been nothing but insanity

 

 

ddeath will achieve ultimate freedom from pain, fear, and depression. It is also the only way to experience complete peace. The hell of this pointless life and existence holds absolutely no meaning or reason to live.

 

No one cares! They have proven it by how they hurt me. LOVE IS A LIE!

When you are at this point, there really was no other way out but to die.

 

 

Ignorant and/or clumsy individuals may administer the wrong dosage, use the wrong delivery equipment or substance, and may generally botch the job
he LD-50 is what is believed will kill 50% of people who take it (it's only tested on rats or mice, usually).
the focus here is on being sure of dying, and 50% is damn low odds considering the cost of failure. Thus, dosages quoted here are often several times the LD-50 (as toxicity often does not follow a straight line for that last 20% or so). Remember, these are dosages for people to die with, not the maximum "safe" dose to self-medicate with.
"LD-50" means the amount of drug it took to kill 50% of the subject group, usually mice or rats. Doubling the dosage does not necessarily make it 100%. mg/kg means that for each kg that you weigh (Americans: 1 kg = 2.2 lb) you need that dose in mg; for example if it were 2mg/kg and you weighed 70kg you'd need 140 mg for the LD-50. Note too that doubling that amount does not ensure death. People vary. People take six times the lethal dose of something and manage somehow to survive because bodies differ.
Although LD-50 is the best measure available, it does not necessarily equate exactly to humans. Unfortunately, human data is not available because the FDA won't let drug companies take a pool of 1200 or so humans and feed them a drug until 600 are dead.

 Toxicity Chart: 30 Toxic Drugs Frequently
Used in Suicide Attempts Key: 1000 milligrams
(mg.) = 15 grains (gr.) = 1 gram (gm.)
MLD = Minimum Lethal Dose --
IMPORTANT see qualifications of "MLD" above
Notes:

1. Special adjustments for scoring are found at the
end of the chart.
2. If tablet strength is recorded, make sure the
common dosage in column four corresponds with
the strength ingested. Dosage in column four
corresponds with the strength ingested.

Toxicity:
Mild = 0-33% of MLD;
Moderate = 34-66% of MLD;
Severe = 67%+ of MLD.

Commonly
Available
Drug Est. MLD Doses Est. MLD
# of tablets
at most
common dosage
Aspirin, Bufferin
(acetylsalicylics)
Anacin, Excedrin
30 gm. 5 gr.
(.33 gm.) 90/5 gr.
Amytal
(amobarbital)
1.5 gm.
15, 30, 50, 100 mg.
30/50 mg.
Benadryl
(diphenhydramine)
47% Benadryl
(diphenhydramine)
3 gm.

3 gm.

35, 50 mg.

35, 50 mg.

60/50 mg.

60/50 mg.
Butisol
(butabarbital)
1 gm.
15, 30, 50, 100 mg.
30/30 mg.
Carbrital
(pentobarbital +)
1 gm.
75, 100 mg.
10/100 mg.
Darvon
(propoxyphene)
2 gm.
30, 65 mg.
30/65 mg.
Demerol
(meperidine)
1.2 gm.
50, 100 mg.
24/50 mg.
Dilantin
(diphenylhydantoin)
3 gm.
30, 100 mg.
30/100 mg.
Doriden
(glutethimide)
8 gm.
250, 500 mg.
16/500 mg.
Dramamine
(dimenhydrinate)
5 gm.
50 mg.
100/50 mg.
Elavil
(amitriptyline)
3 gm.
10, 25, 50 mg.
120/25 mg.
Equanil, Miltown
(meprobamate)
15 gm.
200, 400 mg.
38/400 mg.
Felsules
(chloral Hydrate)
10 gm.
250, 500 mg.
20/500 mg.
Librium (chlordiaepoxide)
5 gm.
5, 10, 25 mg.
500/10 mg.
Luminal
(phenobarbital)
1.5 gm.
15, 30, 100 mg.
40/30 mg.
Mellaril
(thioridazine)
3 gm.
10, 25, 50, 100,
150, 200 mg.
100/25 mg.
Nembutal
(pentobarbital)
1 gm
30, 50, 100 mg.
10/100 mg.
Noludar
(methyprylon)
5 gm.
50, 200, 300 mg.
17/300 mg.
Nytol, Sominex
(methapyrilene +)
3.5 gm.
25, 50 mg.
140/25 mg.
Percodan
(dihydrophydroxy-codeinine)
.5 gm.
4.5 mg.
125/4.5 mg.
Placydil
(ehtchlorvynol)
15 gm.
100, 200, 500 mg.
30/500 mg.
Seconal
(secobarbital)
1.5 gm.
30, 50, 100 mg.
15/100 mg.
Seraz
(oxazepam)
10 gm.
10, 15, 30 mg.
333/30 mg.
Stelazine
(trifluoperazine)
2.5 gm.
1, 2, 5, 10 mg.
500/5 mg.
Thorazine
(chlorpromazine)
2.2 gm.
10, 25, 30, 50,
75, 200 mg.
44/50 mg.
Tofranil
(imipramine)
2.5 mg.
10, 25, 50 mg.
100/25 mg.
Tuinal
(amo/secobarbital)
1.5 mg.
50, 100, 200 mg.
15/100 mg.
Valium
(diazepam)
8 gm.
2, 5, 10 mg.
1600/5 mg.
Valmid
(ethinamate)
15 gm.
500 mg.
30/500 mg.
Veronal, Bs
(barbital)
3 gm.
15, 30, 300 mg.
100/30 mg.
Special Adjustments for Scoring:

1. When any ingestion is accompanied by ETOH
(ethyl alchohol), increases the toxicity
level by approx 50%.
2. If it is established that a person is a
regular drug user, then raise the number of
milligrams for MLD by 33%.

 

 

Potassium Cyanide (KCN) Consumption
If you've got some potassium cyanide, or know where you can get some, then the following method may prove valuable (provided by Derek Humphry):

1. Take a small glass of cold tap water; do not use mineral water, nor any kind of juice or soda water, due to the acidity of such liquids.
2. Stir 1g (or 1.5g, at most) of potassium cyanide (KCN) into the water; using more than recommended will likely cause burning of the throat due to the acidity.
3. After about five minutes—this "waiting period" is important, as a chemical reaction needs to take place—the KCN will be dissolved and ready to drink (because it has turned into HCN). It remains drinkable for a period of several hours, but not much more than that.
4. Once the concoction is drunk, consciousness will be lost within a minute. There will be just time to rinse out the glass (to ensure that no one else accidentally drinks from it—however, one could just as easily put a big "Warning" label onto the glass, or throw it into a corner or a fireplace, if one doesn't want to take the time) and lie down. But beware—a person extremely weakened by illness might lose consciousness within twenty seconds.

5. While in the coma, death will follow in fifteen to forty-five minutes, depending on the physical strength of the person and whether the stomach is full or empty (an empty stomach promotes faster death).
6. During the coma period, the dying person will breathe heavily or snore, similarly to people who have taken a lethal dose of barbiturates.

 

 

Hanging
1. asphyxiation (dangle on end of rope for 10 minutes)
Time: 5 to 10 minutes

 

 2. breaking neck
Time: Should be instant if it does break



Time: Instantanious if you are lucky, minutes/hours otherwise
Available: You need ten stories or higher, and access to the top floor windows/roof. Bring a bolt cutter to get onto the roof
Certainty: 90% for 6 stories, increasing after that

 

Slitting wrists or other (often not effective)
Time: Minutes if major artery cut, eternity otherwise.
Available: You really need a razor sharp knife. Razors are pretty tricky to hold when they are covered with blood.
Certainty: possible if you cut an artery, improbable otherwise

 

Bullet
Time: Microseconds unless you are unlucky (mins/hours)
Available: Difficult in UK, easier in USA (get a shotgun)
Certainty: Certain

 

Asphyxiation
Time: 5 mins to unconciousness, 10+ mins to brain death
Available: Anywhere there's a rope and something solid to tie it to

 

Decapitation
Time: Couple of seconds before conciousness fades
Available: Happen to have a train line nearby? Or a guillotine perhaps?
Certainty: Very certain, unless you pull away just before

 

Disembowelment (aka seppuku/hara kiri)
Time: Minutes
Available: Got a nice razor-sharp sword?
Certainty: Fairly certain, assuming that you managed to gut yourself properly before passing out with the agony

 

 

Drowning
Time: Minutes (5 mins to die of drowning, 20 to die of hypothermia)
Available: Anywhere there's deep, (cold) water in a remote spot
Certainty: Good, just make sure you sink & can't swim
 

 

Electrocution
Time: Seconds / minutes
Available: Anywhere with high-tension, high-current lines & a good earth
Certainty: Somewhat dependant on luck & how much power goes through you
 

 

 Explosives
Time: 10 milliseconds, or similar (!)
Available: Difficult to get hold of detonator & good explosives
Certainty: Certain if detonator works properly

 

 

Freezing to death (hypothermia)
Time: several hours (15 minutes in very cold water)
Available: Got a large chest freezer? Is the outside temp < -10 degrees?
Certainty: good if you don't get found
 

 

Jumping in front of trains
Time: Seconds (or hours if unlucky)
Available: Anywhere near a HIGH-SPEED railway line
Certainty: Depends on your timing & speed of train. Go for decapitation
 

 

Self-immolation
Time: Seconds to days
Available: Anywhere you can get petrol & a match

 

Driving into bridge support at 100 mph
Time: Hopefully instantanious
Available: Fast car, motorway, unprotected bridge....
Certainty: So-so, put a couple of cans of petrol on the passenger seat to make it certain, & USE YOUR SEATBELT

i never have seen the point to life
i have been told you live you love you
die but during that time how many heartaches and lies
should you suffer  before that kills you?
suicide seems to be the only logical explanation
 for exscaping it all but there are those that feel otherwise
they always try to prove reasons for living
 be it kids or if you love them at the same time
 are humans not meant to be strong
they come in alone and they die alone...
sometimes you feel you can't do it cuz someone will find you
 and try to stop why can't people leave well enough alone?
 this is supposed to be a free country
then where is our freedom to choose our right
 to kill ourselves people complain about overpopulation
well this would help tin out the herd
some of us are not as strong as others
be it cuz of tremendous abuse
suffered in our lives or feeling a lack of importance to others