Hearts and Secrets

by
Tgray

Part Four

Angel and Wesley sat silent for a few moments, awkward and unsure, neither knowing what to say about Spike’s sudden departure. Finally, when one went to speak, the other did as well, apologies coming from both sides.

“What do you mean you’re sorry?”

Angel shook his head. “I should have known it was a bad idea. Things have been sort of, I don’t know, tense maybe?” He took a long, deep breath, gripping his water glass between both hands, staring down at the table. “Spike wasn’t in love with the idea of my working with you. He’s been feeling a little… insecure.”

Wesley sat back in his chair, folding his arms in front of him. “Angel, we’ve been working together for two months, and you never gave any clue that Spike was at all unhappy. You couldn’t have warned me before I made a complete prat of myself?”

Angel looked up slowly. “I just assumed it would work itself out. I never thought- ”

“That your boyfriend would feel a slight bit of animosity toward a man who you’ve had relations with?”

Angel fumbled with his napkin, folding it in half several times before finally answering, “It’s not like we’re… and it was so long ago. He should know better than to think...”

“Angel,” Wesley interrupted softly, “affairs of the heart aren’t easily overlooked. If the situation were reversed, I highly doubt I would be handling it any differently than he is. I don’t think I’d feel entirely comfortable sharing you either.” The last words were spoken softly, barely audible.

“But it’s business, Wes. He has to understand- ”

“Understand what, Angel? That his lover is neglecting to spend time with him? All those times I know you should have been at home and you were still at the office, with me.”

Angel frowned and traced the rim of his glass with his finger. Softly, he answered, “I enjoy spending time with you. It’s been nice, without…” he tapered off.

“Without the complications of a romantic involvement?”

Angel ignored the question, instead adding, “I’ve missed having you to talk to.”

“And now you have Spike, and speaking of, why didn’t you tell him you were thinking of starting your own agency?”

Angel shrugged. “It never seems to be the right time. We’re always… busy. Or something.” His face took on a saddened expression. “Conversation isn’t exactly what drew us together, Wes.”

Wesley cleared his throat. “I see.”

The air seemed thicker around them by the silence that followed. After a minute, Angel finally looked up, directly into Wes’s eyes. “It wasn’t always bad with us, remember? Our sex life was never an issue until….”

“Until I began trying to force you into something you weren’t ready for?”

“Wes…”

“I pushed too hard, Angel. I know that. And the more I pushed, the further you pulled away from me. Especially, well… physically.”

“I never should have. It wasn’t really about that.”

“No. But it was a normal response to the situation. I knew you weren’t ready for that amount of commitment. Still, I thought if I could just convince you...”

Angel shook his head. “I think that’s why I was so attracted to Spike in the beginning. He was so carefree, so wild and energetic. I knew he wasn’t looking for anything too serious.”

“And living together isn’t serious?”

Angel shrugged. “Well, we don’t talk about things like commitment, and forever.”

“No. It seems as if you refrain from talking at all.”

Spike scanned the bar, eyeing the pool tables and small dance floor before finally giving up. He wouldn’t admit to himself who it was he was looking for. That would mean he went there with an actual purpose. He’d hate to think he was the type of person who would do something just to get back at Angel. But maybe Angel deserved it. After all, he hadn’t given a rat’s ass about Spike’s feelings. Inviting the man he used to fuck to a cozy little dinner in their restaurant. Or maybe… Spike shuddered at the thought. Maybe it had been Angel and Wesley’s restaurant before…

Fuck it. There was no use going down that road. He needed a drink. Not too much, just a little something to take the edge off before putting in ten hours of manual labor at the docks. The docks that were old and boring and smelled like dead fish. He hated it there, but the nightshift was cool and the pay was even better. Not many people preferred keeping the hours he did, so the extra bonus of working graveyard was well worth the less than glorious parts of the job. Like being set up.

He’d been used as a scapegoat when some drug lord scum decided to use the dock he worked to smuggle cargo into the country. That was how he and Angel had met. Spike had gotten curious after seeing a mass amount of unregistered shipments and decided to do a little investigating of his own. When he caught wind of a plan to pull himself and Gunn into it if the illegal activities were ever discovered, he decided he needed help from a professional. He’d asked around and was told Angel was the person to contact, so eventually, he’d asked for his help, bringing down the entire ring within a few weeks. They’d been living together ever since.

Maybe things had moved two fast. There was an instant attraction neither of them could deny, but maybe they’d begun playing house a little too soon. Spike wanted the security of a steady relationship. Angel wanted company and moving in together worked out well for both of them. Love was something they casually grew into, and there was no doubt in his mind that they did love each other. But as the novelty wore off, they’d begun to argue more and more, with silly habits and pet peeves causing most of the problems between them. But that was normal, right? All couples had problems. Normal problems that didn’t include Angel spending half his time with his ex-boyfriend.

Angry again at the thought, Spike stomped up to the bar and ordered a shot of Jack. When the kid behind the counter spun around from where he was stacking glasses against the wall, their eyes caught and Spike smirked. Admittedly, this was what he’d been looking for when he’d stepped into the bar.

“Bartender, eh?” he asked, sliding his leg over a barstool.

The kid smiled back. “Gotta make a living, right?”

Spike’s brow rose and then he reached for the shot glass that the boy put in front of him, swallowing it quickly. “Sure you’re old enough to be serving me alcohol?”

The boy smiled. “Is that your subtle way of asking me how old I am?”

Spike shrugged and said, “Another Jack.”

With a nod, he was handed another shot. “Driver’s license says I’m twenty one.”

Spike grinned back. “And your birth certificate?”

“Look, I like this job. You’re not gonna get me in trouble, are you?”

He shook his head. “Just curious, mate. Don’t give a bloody damn if you’re legal or not.”

The boy leaned in. “Nineteen, almost twenty.”

Spike couldn’t hide the smirk. “Just as I suspected.”

“But I’ve been around.” The boy pulled away and began cleaning the bar with a towel, then stuffed it into his back pocket. “So, I didn’t think I’d see you around here again anytime soon.”

Spike kicked back the second drink, slamming the empty glass on the bar. “Guiness,” he ordered, motioning toward the bar and then added, “Why’s that?”

“Well,” came the reply as the boy reached into a freezer and grabbed his beer, “the way you ran out of here last night…”

“What? Thought you’d get lucky?” He tipped the bottle to his lips.

“You weren’t exactly coming off uninterested. Kinda figured maybe there’d be something.”

Spike shrugged. “Had somewhere to be.”

The boy grinned. “So, you were into it.”

Spike lifted an eyebrow, thought of Angel, stuffed that thought away and then asked, “You getting off anytime soon?”

The boy leaned toward him, talking low enough so only Spike could hear and answered, “Guess that depends on you. You wanna get me off?”

Spike suddenly felt a stirring in the pit of his stomach. This was wrong. This was something he shouldn’t be doing, but he pushed the feeling away and said, “Flattered, but I meant your shift.”

“I know what you meant.” The boy smiled coyly. “And not for awhile, but I have a break coming up in a few minutes.”

Spike pretended to consider it, taking another drink, and then surprised the boy when he asked, “There anywhere private around here?”

“Out back,” came the answer a little too quickly. “Can lock the door leading out. Meet me in about,” he glanced down at his watch, “eight minutes?”

“Yeah.”

Spike sipped his beer and watched as the boy returned to the other people he was supposed to be waiting on with a little extra hop to his step.

Five minutes later Spike was leaning against a brick wall, a burning cigarette between his lips, trying to figure out what the hell he was doing. He smoked, he paced, he leaned, repeating the process several times before the door opened and the boy stepped out.

“Took you long enough.”

The boy chuckled. “Okay, so it took me ten minutes instead of eight. Somehow, I knew you wouldn’t be the patient type.”

Spike flicked his cigarette onto the ground and slid his hands deep inside his duster pockets. “Don’t have a lot of time.”

“Let me guess. You have somewhere else to be.” The boy was moving closer as he spoke, leaning into Spike’s space, almost touching, but not quite.

In the back of his mind, Spike wondered what Angel was doing. “Something like that, yeah.”

The boy nodded. “So.”

Spike answered back, “So.”

This time when the boy spoke, he moved in, sliding a knee between Spike’s legs as his hands reached into the leather coat to rest on Spike’s hips. “My name’s-”

“Don’t wanna know, mate. And I’m not telling you mine, either.”

Smiling, he answered, “Hmm, mystery man. That’s kinda sexy.” He moved his leg, brushing it slowly against Spike’s crotch. “So, what are we doing out here, all alone, in the dark?”

Spike let his tongue curl against the back of his teeth. The look he always used when he was trying to seduce Angel. “Finishing what we started.”

“Sure you won’t take off this time?” He rubbed against Spike’s hip, and Spike could feel the growing bulge of the boy’s cock. “Do you know how bad I wanted you last night?”

Spike pulled his hand from his pocket and slid his palm against the front of the boy’s jeans. “Why don’t you tell me?”

“I couldn’t get you outta my head,” he moaned, “and then I had to take care of it myself. You had me so horny… almost hurt I was so fucking hard.”

Spike moved closer, almost whispering into the boy’s ear as his thumb flipped the button on the boy’s jeans. “Did you think about me when you were... taking care of it?”

“Yesss. I wrapped my hand around my cock and imagined it was you I was fucking.”

“Yeah?” Spike’s hand pushed firmer, feeling the bulge increasing beneath his fingers. “Bet you were a hell of a sight, pet.”

“If you would’ve come home with me- ”

“Told you. I don’t go home with strangers.”

“We gonna fuck right here then?”

Spike’s hand fumbled with the zipper and then pulled, sliding it down slowly, letting the loose fitting jeans slip down the boy’s hips slightly. “Didn’t say we were gonna fuck.”

“Will you kiss me like you did last night?”

Without another word, Spike closed his eyes and leaned into the boy, moving his tongue to caress the smooth, wet lips. They opened to him and he took the initiative to slide inside, tasting a minty flavor on the boy’s tongue. The kiss continued for several minutes, both men panting heavy, moaning into each other, their tongues probing and licking, mapping every crevice inside.

Spike tried not to compare, but noticed the subtle differences between this kiss and the ones he and Angel shared. When he kissed Angel, there was a definite feeling of submission, and he realized he always let Angel guide the way their tongues moved and caressed one another. This kiss was equal, both of them taking turns dominating the other. It was nice. It’d been a long time since he’d spent time just kissing someone.

When he and Angel first met, they’d enjoyed long hours of making out, fondling and teasing until one of them gave in and begged for more. Those days were long gone, and now, Spike realized it had been a long time since he’d felt this kind of passion. Like the boy would eat him alive if he let him.

He felt the hands on his hips tightening, squeezing, trying to pull him closer, but he resisted, instead working his hand into the waistband of the blue boxers sneaking out from under the jeans. He pulled away slightly, his mouth still open as he gasped for air and slid his fingers past soft curls, finding the boy’s stiff and leaking cock.

“Gonna bring you off, pet,” he said, wrapping his hand around the base of it, his mouth barely brushing kiss-swelled lips.

“Almost,” the boy answered breathlessly, “almost did already.”

Spike smiled and stroked upward toward the head.

“Wait.” The boy reached down, shoving his jeans and boxers down to his ankles. “I have to go back to work after this.”

Spike nodded. A wet spot would surely raise a few questions and he doubted the management would take too kindly to one of their employees receiving a hand job on the premises. He looked the boy in the eyes and began a long, leisurely stroke, up, down, up, down, up, swirl around the tip, back down. When the boy’s head tilted back, Spike’s gaze wandered downward to watch his hand.

“Look so fucking nice, pet. Full cock, so big and hard for me. Almost a shame I can’t let you fuck me.”

“Oh, God.”

“I’d love to feel your cock poundin’ into me… stretching me.”

He continued to pump, steadily quickening the pace as he changed position and moved behind the boy’s body, nudging his crotch against the boy’s bare ass. His free hand reached around and slid underneath the long t-shirt to tweak a nipple, rubbing sensuous circles around the hardened nub. His lips ghosted softly against the boy’s neck, stopping when he reached his ear. “Do you fuck as good as you kiss?”

The boy’s breath quickened. Spike’s finger pushed against the slit in his cock.

“Fuck my hand, pet. Show me how you'd fuck my arse.”

The boy’s hips began to move, obeying the words from behind him as the hand circled around his cock. Spike held still, letting the boy pump into his fist, setting the pace that would bring him to his climax.

“That’s it. Close your eyes and fuck me, feel how tight I am around you.”

The boy made a sound, not quite a moan, not quite a whimper. Something in between that had Spike on edge. The boy was already driving him crazy, rubbing against his cock each time he pushed back. He was painfully hard, but not about to do anything about it. Somehow, getting the boy off seemed okay. Getting himself off, well… that felt too much like cheating. At least this way, he felt like he was wanted with just a small amount of guilt to deal with. He allowed his mind to drift again, wondering what Angel was doing. Probably something a hell of a lot worse than this.

The boy moaned and Spike felt him shudder as he came, shooting his release onto the pavement in front of him. After a moment, the boy slumped against him, panting lightly, holding onto his wrist as Spike milked the last drops from him. When Spike felt the wetness on his hand and the boy’s body next to his, the reality and guilt of what he’d just done came crashing down on him. Not the tiny flicker of guilt he felt before, but a giant bubble of ‘What the fuck am I doing? I have a boyfriend’ kind of guilt.

“Damn, that was…”

“The last time,” Spike finished for him.

The boy pulled away, reaching down to pull up his boxers and jeans and then turned around to face him. “Okaaay? Not exactly what I was gonna say, but… what did I miss?”

“Nothing,” Spike answered, looking around for something to wipe his hand on, but finding nothing to use.

“So, why the attitude all the sudden? I mean, we just…”

“What? We snogged a bit; you got your rocks off. Now toddle on back inside to your cozy little job.”

“That’s it? That’s what you came here for?”

“No. Came for a beer, you were just a bonus.”

The boy shook his head, an incredulous look on his face. “So you just came to mess with me.” He let out an exasperated sigh. “You know what? You’re a real dick.”

Spike cocked an eyebrow and gave his best smirk. He saw the dark eyes as they moved over his body, then the boy grabbed the bar rag he’d stuffed into his back pocket and tossed it in Spike’s direction. “At least I’m not the one leaving with a hard-on this time,” the boy said, turning to unlock the door. Before he walked through, he turned back around. “I may be forward, and I may have come on strong with you last night, but at least I don’t play fucking head games.”

The door slammed shut and Spike was left alone in the alley. He began wiping his hand on the rag, disgusted with himself for letting things end up this way. He was pissed at Angel and his plan was to flirt a little, just to make himself feel better. He wasn’t supposed to let it go as far as it did, but it was too hard to stop once he felt the boy’s hard, tight body against him. He should have stayed away; knowing his immediate attraction to the boy would lead him down a path he knew he shouldn’t go.

Part Five

Spike and Gunn hoisted the last of the larger boxes onto the truck and decided to take a short break before venturing onto the next row. Spike sat down on the edge of the long dock, opened his half empty bottle, took a sip and then poured the majority over his head, letting the cool water drip down and seep into his sweaty t-shirt. It was half past midnight, but the temperature had barely dropped, leaving them uncomfortably hot and sticky.

Gunn took a seat beside him and leaned back onto his elbows, letting his head fall backward as he looked up into the dark sky above them. “So, you gonna tell me what’s lodged up your ass tonight?” With a sigh, he looked over at Spike, who was looking expectantly at him. “Then again, maybe I don’t wanna know,” he added with a smile, “you and Angel get up to some kinky shit, right?”

If Spike weren’t in such a foul mood, he would have gotten a laugh out of his friend’s ribbing. As it was, he barely raised an eyebrow and began peeling the label from his water bottle.

“C’mon, man. We’ve been here two hours and you haven’t said jack. What’s up? And don’t tell me nothing cause I know you better than that.”

Spike shrugged his shoulders and sat his bottle down, trading it for a cigarette. After lighting it and blowing out the first stream of smoke, he finally asked, “Why the bloody hell didn’t you warn me when I got involved with Angel?”

Gunn looked at him as if he were crazy. “Yeah. Like that would have stopped you,” he answered sarcastically.

Spike rolled his eyes. “I’m serious.”

“If I remember right, I told you to go find you a nice girl, settle down and have lots of bleach-headed babies. I don’t think I ever said anything about hooking up with Mr. Uptown private eye.”

Spike, looking rather defeated, said, “Guess I should’ve listened to you. Think maybe I could get used to shaggin’ someone without a dick?”

Gunn shook his head and ignored the question. “C’mon, the kinda heat I’ve seen between the two of you? Wasn’t nothin’ gonna stop it from happening. So spill. What’s got you so bummed?”

Spike frowned, images of Angel and Wesley clouding his head. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to open up, but needed to talk to someone. Gunn was his best friend and the only person who knew as much about he and Angel’s relationship than they did. “I think we’re loosing some of the heat. " He took another long drag and then added, “He’s bored with me.”

Gunn shook his head in disagreement. “Nah, man. That ain’t Angel. He’s a lot of things… snooty, anal, a white man with no rhythm… but I’ve seen the way he is with you. I can’t imagine…”

“I think he’s shaggin’ his ex.”

Gunn’s dark eyes widened as he sat up and looked over at Spike. “Daaamn, that’s harsh. This the same guy he’s been working with? The one you were telling me about?”

Spike took one last drag and then flicked the finished butt into the water down below, nodding. “Wesley. Sodding nancy-boy with an oversized stick up his arse.”

With his brow furrowed, he asked, “Okay, so how you know Angel’s messin’ with him?”

Spike shrugged and looked down, away from Gunn’s gaze. “Don’t exactly, just a hunch.”

“Man, you’re getting’ yourself all worked up over a hunch?” He followed when Spike stood up and began unloading some of the smaller boxes onto a dolly.

“They have a lot in common.”

“So? That automatically means they’re fucking?”

Spike rolled his eyes, took out a second cigarette and sat back down on the couple of boxes they’d just stacked, while Gunn continued to work. “I’ve been kidding myself, thinking me and Angel belong together. We’re too different.”

Gunn turned around with a stearn frown. “And that’s bullshit.”

A long exhale later and Spike said, “Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe he should be with Wesley.”

“No. That’s fucked up thinking and you know it. You wanna tell me about how you think Angel’s bangin’ some other dude? Okay. You wanna tell me what you’re gonna do about it? Even better. You start in with the ‘pity me, I don’t deserve him’ attitude and I’m outta here right now.”

“I didn’t say…”

“You didn’t have to.”

Spike’s eyes narrowed.

Gunn stopped talking for a moment, and then asked, “Do you love him?”

Spike’s thoughts traveled to the stranger in the alley. If he did love Angel, why didn’t he try to fight the attraction? In fact, why’d he go back looking for it again after what happened the first night? Wasn’t that what a relationship was all about? Resisting the temptation of fucking around with other people?

“C’mon, this isn’t a test. Either you do or you don’t.”

The sound of Gunn’s voice jarred him and he answered, “Course I do.”

Gunn nodded. “Then start acting like it. You gonna sit back and what? Give up? Push Angel to the other guy?”

Spike tossed the cigarette to the ground, stomped it out under his boot and blurted out, “I almost shagged someone… earlier tonight.”

Gunn froze in place, his expression one of bewildered curiosity as he stuffed his hands inside the pockets of his jeans. “Come again?”

Shamefully, he said, “I met this fucking kid. One minute I was drinking a beer, the next I was snoggin’ him against the building.” He sighed, biting his lip, waiting for Gunn’s disapproval. He chanced a glance and was surprised when he didn’t see any sign of the disappointment he’d expected. Letting his eyes drop, he said, “I don’t know what the bloody fuck I’m doing, Gunn. I just know I wanted it.”

“Okay, let me get this straight. You’re pissed at Angel cause you think he’s messin’ around with this Wesley character, so you go out and lip lock with another guy?” Finally, his expression changed. Sarcastically, he continued, “Yeah, I can see all kinds of good there.”

Spike immediately bit back, “It was good. It was hot and hungry and…and why the sodding hell shouldn’t I? If Angel’s gonna go around flaunting his new-found rekindling with his ex, serves him right if I’m off enjoyin’ a snog! Way I see it? Angel brought it on himself.”

“Since you have a hunch,” Gunn offered.

“Yeah.”

“And your hunches are never wrong.”

Spike sighed again, “Not when it comes to Angel.”

“Spike, man…. you got some issues.” Shaking his head, Gunn stacked a couple of crates and sat down beside him. “Seriously. You need to figure out exactly what you want and what’s important to you.”

“Everything was fine until Wesley…”

“Fuck that,” Gunn snapped back, “This ain’t about Wesley. This is about you and Angel and the fact that you don’t talk to each other about anything. You don’t even know for sure if he’s fucking around and you’re already out there trying to get even with him.”

“That wasn’t what happened.”

From the expression on Gunn’s face, it was obvious he didn’t agree. “That’s exactly what happened and you know it. You ain’t touched another guy since you and Angel been together, now all of a sudden you’re kissing some kid you don’t even know? Sounds like payback to me.”

“Can’t be payback if he doesn’t know about it.”

Shaking his head, Gunn asked, “So what about this kid? Who the fuck is he?”

Spike shrugged. “Just some guy at a joint downtown. Fucked around a bit, nothin’ to it.”

“Well if you ask my opinion, which you did… I think you need to go home to your honey in the morning and have a damn serious discussion. That, or you can go home pretending like nothing’s wrong and fuck his brains out like usual, but it’s your call. You know I’ll tell you to do whatever makes you happy.”

The trouble was, Spike wasn’t sure what it was gonna take to achieve the happiness Gunn was talking about. Angel not seeing Wesley? That was a given, and also not an option. Angel had been very clear about that. So what was left? Trust him and hope he loved Spike enough? The same way Spike loved him enough not to go out looking for the first hot, horny guy he came across?

Spike shook his head and put the key in the door. Something had to change and it had to be soon. Hopefully, Angel could call in late again and maybe they’d have time to talk. He wanted to make it work. With that decision made, he intended to do everything he could to make it happen.

Walking through the door, he was surprised to see Angel sitting on the sofa instead of meeting him in the room like he usually did, coming home just in time to watch him get ready for work. Angel met Spike’s gaze and the look of complete seriousness made Spike’s heart jump, his entire body tensing with nervousness. He was about to say something, to ask what was going on, figuring Angel was still pissed about what had happened at dinner, when he finally noticed the other person sitting across the room in the recliner. Instant dread was the only thing that came to mind when the boy looked up at him. That, and a few silent ‘bloody hells’ that were screaming to be heard.

And then there was Angel’s voice, the tone so even and business-like, speaking directly to him. “We need to talk.”

Manip by elizabeth_cs

Part Six

Spike’s eyes shifted toward Angel, and then back to the boy. He was confused when he saw the complete look of surprise on the kid’s face. What the hell was he doing here and how the fuck had he found out where he lived? And the more important question… why was he staring at Spike like he’d grown two heads?

“Spike.”

He turned, focusing on Angel and the sound of his voice because he knew this was it. The decision he’d made to try harder, to make things better between them didn’t matter at all, because this was a major fuck up and now Angel knew. He met Angel’s serious gaze again and decided he’d better say something.

“Angel, I…”

“I know, the whole dinner thing with Wes was a bad idea.” Angel slowly rose and began walking as he spoke. “Look, I don’t blame you for being upset and leaving the way you did. Once I sat down and thought about it, I realized it wasn’t right for me to just spring it on you like that.” He’d crossed the room and was standing directly in front of Spike, reaching out to wrap his arms around him. “I’m sorry.”

He stood frozen, completely at a loss for what to say as Angel hugged him. Angel was apologizing? And then when warm lips pressed against his, instead of closing his eyes and enjoying it, he looked past the large shoulder at the other person in the room with them. The other person who was still staring at him with the same expression of shock that he knew was on his own face.

“But anyway,” Angel continued, pulling back slightly, “we can talk about that later, okay? Right now, there’s something else a little more urgent.”

And here it is. Spike could almost feel his heart beating through his chest.

“I need to ask you something and I want you to be honest because it’s gonna effect a lot of things. Especially things between you and I.”

Spike couldn’t answer. He couldn’t form the words to ask what Angel was talking about.

“Spike, this is Xander… my brother.”

Brother? Angel’s brother?

“He needs a place to stay for a while and I offered him the extra room as long as you’re okay with it.”

In a whirlwind, it all clicked into place. The attraction, the eyes, the subtle familiarity when Spike first saw the boy. When Spike still didn’t answer, Angel turned around to Xander and said, “Hey, can you give us just a few minutes maybe?”

And then Xander answered in the same soft, syrupy voice that had Spike practically begging to be fucked just hours earlier. “Sure thing.” He stood up. “I’ll get something to drink. The kitchen’s this way?” he asked, pointing down a small hall.

Angel nodded and Xander took one final look of curiosity, this time blatantly eyeing Spike from top to bottom before he turned and left the living room. Before he was out of sight, Spike hit Angel with the obvious question. “Since when in the bloody hell do you have a brother?!”

Angel shrugged. “Since I was sixteen. There’s such an age difference between us, we’ve never been… close. Hadn’t even talked to him in a couple of years until he came knocking on the door last night.”

‘Coincidence,’ Spike thought, ‘had to be.’ “And what? He just shows up in the middle of the night for a friendly visit and ‘Oh, by the way, I need a place to stay?’”

“No,” Angel answered sharply. “He went home after work last night and his roommate had emptied out their apartment. Left with all his stuff and the rent money along with it. C’mon, Spike. Where else was he gonna go?”

“How the bloody fuck should I know?! I’ve been with you for a year and I didn’t even know he existed!” Except when we were kissing with my hand wrapped around his cock. Spike tried to make that thought disappear. Obviously, Xander was keeping quiet; otherwise he would have said something as soon as they saw each other. “Doesn’t he have friends or something?” Xander couldn’t stay here. Not when things were so complicated as it was.

Angel looked at Spike, scowling as he asked, “Why are you being so pissy about this? Just because I’ve never told you about him? It’s not like we’ve ever talked about your family either.”

“No,” Spike answered sternly. “Because we don’t talk about anything, do we? Unless it has to do with your cock and my arse cause that’s about all we have in common.” Spike stepped past Angel and sat down on the couch, legs spread, resting his elbows on his knees. When he looked back, he saw Angel’s eyes had darkened, but he couldn’t read his face. It could have been anger, or it could have been the fact that he knew Spike was right. Either way, he didn’t like the sudden change in demeanor.

“You’re changing the subject and now’s not the time to talk about this, Spike.”

“When the bloody hell is the right time then, Angel? When it gets to the point that we’re fighting over who gets to keep the toaster oven?!” He shook his head. “Sod it. Whatever.”

Angel let out a long, deep breath and then sat down next to Spike. “Look, I know we have problems we need to work out. And we will. There’s nothing I want more, believe me. But don’t say things like that, okay?”

Spike turned his body slightly toward Angel. “Are you fucking Wesley?”

Angel’s eyes widened and the room went silent. Spike tilted his head and stared, trying to read the reaction. The trouble was, there wasn’t a reaction to read. Angel seemed to be completely stunned and Spike almost wished he could take it back. Almost, but not quite, because he really wanted an answer. But then the look on Angel’s face changed and Spike saw the hurt replacing the stunned expression.

“Do you really think I would do that?”

Spike looked down to avoid seeing the way Angel was looking at him. He began picking at a fingernail, avoiding the hurtful gaze. “I don’t know.”

Angel sat all the way back on the couch, leaning his head against the top of it. After a minute, he lifted it again. “You should. You should know it in your heart, in your gut.” He turned to look right into Spike’s eyes and said, “The same way I know you would never cheat on me.”

And Spike couldn’t feel any worse than he did at that moment. His eyes drifted down the hall toward the kitchen. How was he supposed to say he didn’t mind Xander, Angel’s brother, staying with them, when he knew it was the worst idea in the history of ideas?

“I don’t want anyone else, Spike. I’ve told you so many times already, but I’ll keep saying it until you believe it. There were reasons why Wesley and I ended our relationship, and those reasons haven’t changed. Just because I’m spending time with him doesn’t mean we’re gonna pick up where we left off.” He reached his hand out, resting it softly on Spike’s thigh, reassuring him with a loving touch. “The only person I’m interested in sleeping with is you.”

Spike thought about that for a moment. Angel only wanted him. It gave him a warm feeling in the pit of his stomach. Gunn was right. He hadn’t been tempted by anyone else since the day he’d met Angel.

So why now and what made Xander so different? Could he really use the excuse that he was angry and feeling insecure? If they hadn’t met, would it have been some other random guy? With any luck at all, with him being there, maybe Spike would figure out that it really didn’t have anything to do with Xander at all. Besides… their one, or actually two indiscretions, if the first night’s kiss was to be counted, could be easily overlooked. It wasn’t like their fooling around actually meant anything.

“Not to say this isn’t an important conversation, and something we really do need to talk about, but we can’t just leave Xander in the kitchen. I have to tell him something.”

Spike blinked at the sound of Angel’s voice. Maybe this was a test. It would be a good way for him to reinforce his love for Angel. Xander was just an attraction, while Angel was his life.

Spike nodded. “It’s your apartment, so really, it’s your decision.”

“No. It’s our apartment and having him around affects us both. It would mean a lot less privacy and a lot less room and I want to know you’re okay with it before I say anything. I’m sure he could find somewhere…”

“No,” he interrupted, “you’re right. He’s your brother, and I was just a bit thrown, that’s all. Of course he should stay here.”

Angel smiled. “Thank you, I’m sure he’ll appreciate it.” He leaned over and kissed him lightly and then added, “You know? I’m kind of looking forward to getting to know him better. It’s something I probably should have done a long time ago.”

Spike tilted his head slightly, curiosity causing his brow to furrow. “Why haven’t you?”

Angel shrugged and stood up. “I’ll explain, but it’s a long story and I’m already late for work. Let me go show him where the guest room is and then you can fill him in on the rest if you don’t mind.”

Fuck! Just because Xander was moving in, didn’t mean Spike was ready to be left alone with him. That didn’t sound like a good idea at all! “You’re going to the office?!”

Angel moved closer, pulling him into a hug. “Have to, but I’ll try to get off early.”

Spike swallowed and then watched Angel disappear down the hall. He had the gut-wrenching feeling he’d just made a huge mistake. Especially when Xander turned the corner, following Angel to the bedroom directly across from theirs. Their eyes locked briefly, only for a couple of seconds, but Spike knew without a doubt that things were about to get very complicated.

Manip by elizabeth_cs

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