This is what I came up with for the Music of Pain ficathon. *gasp* I'm on time, early even. It's a miracle, people. Big thanks to velvetwhip for the speedy and helpful beta. *smooches*
Disclaimer: I don't own them. I own nothing. Please don't sue.
Spoilers: This takes place during "Chosen", the final Buffy episode, the night before the big battle.
Based on the song "Please Don't Tell Me How the Story Ends".
Please Don't Tell Me
This could be our last good night together
We may never pass this way again.
Just let me enjoy it 'til it's over, or forever
Please don't tell me how the story ends.
See the way our shadows come together
Softer than your fingers on my skin
Someday these may be all we remember of each other
Please don't tell me how the story ends.
Never's just the echo of forever
Lonesome as a love that might have been.
Let me go on lovin' and believin' 'til it's over
Please don't tell me how the story ends.
Xander stepped out of the kitchen door, rested on the small patio, closing his single remaining eye and took in the refreshing cool night air. He swayed lightly, letting the small breeze move him, trying to become part of the night, possibly the last night of his life.
"What's the matter, Harris? Too much estrogen for you in there?"
The dark haired Scoobie smiled, much to his own surprise, and turned toward the vampire he knew was smirking at him in the dark. It figured that the last little bit of peace he was seeking would be interrupted by the annoying vampire.
Glancing around in the shadows, Xander finally spotted the glowing end of a single cigarette on the other side of the yard. Slowly walking over to the bench swing, Xander settled down next to the vampire before answering.
"Yeah, it's driving me crazy. Too many girls, too much stress, too much fear. Besides the noise alone is maddening."
Spike looked at Xander in the dark for a moment. "What do ya' mean?" Spike asked, slightly confused at why this was all bothering the human.
"Sex, Spike," the young man replied, slightly exasperated at the vampire's denseness. "There are a lot of people having sex in there and it's bugging me, ok."
Spike understood that the sheer amount of girls around would be hard on a still young man, not to mention that Willow and Kennedy had been going at it like bunnies for hours. But the fantasy fodder had to be amazing. "The girls getting to you?"
"You could say that," Xander replied, resting his head on the back of the swing. "The guys too."
The simple whispered statement shocked Spike into silence for a few moments and Xander had to laugh at the absurdity of it all. "I can hear Giles."
"Giles is having sex?!?!" Spike exclaimed in shock.
"On the phone." Seeing Spike's continued surprise and confusion, Xander elaborated. "I heard him calling that girl in England, what's her name, oh, Olivia. I guess to say like a last goodbye or something. Then he got all quiet, followed by a lot of 'bloody hell's and some other phrases I couldn't quite understand but I pretty sure they were dirty. The British use a lot of weird euphemisms, you know that, right? But anyway, that, coupled with the heavy breathing equals Giles having phone sex. I had to get out."
Silence prevailed again until Xander reached over and physically closed the vampire's mouth. "You going to be ok, Spike? You look a little pale and that's really bad for you. I suppose I shouldn't tell that it kinda turned me on"
Spike shuddered bodily as Xander laughed quietly. "Now I have to bleach my brain," the vampire complained.
"Nah, you're hair looks fine."
The two men stared at each other before they began to laugh again. The break in the tension between them was a relief and they sat in silence for a while, Spike smoking and Xander swinging.
The dark-haired boy reached out and grabbed the cigarette as it was on it way toward Spike's lips, plucking it from the cool fingers and taking a deep drag.
"Hey!" Spike protested, "That's mine. Besides, you don't smoke."
"Nope," Xander said as he blew out the white smoke. "But I figure that since this is probably my last night on earth, I'd make an exception."
Spike looked hard at Xander in the low light, surprised that the boy seemed serious. "What are you going on about?"
"Well, I figure that tomorrow's going to be bad, like the worst bad we've ever faced. Some of us aren't going to make it. I figure that means me."
The vampire turned his body so he could face the boy instead of looking at him sideways. The last thing he ever expected from the loyal, steadfast boy was this talk of defeat. "Why would you say such a thing?"
Xander shrugged before finishing the cigarette and tossing the butt into the yard, exhaling heavily before even trying to answer. "I've been lucky to make it this long, Spike. I'm just a boy. Just a normal boy. No magic powers, no demon, no special skills. Hell, if it weren't for you, I'd be blind or dead right now."
Spike thought to argue, but what could he say that would make Xander feel any better? He sighed and started to say…something, when Xander interrupted him.
"By the way, did I ever say thank you?"
The vampire stared at his fingers for several long moments, unable to get his emotions under control. "Don't say thank you. I should have stopped him, should've been faster."
Spike was surprised when Xander reached out and touched a gentle finger to Spike's lips as the vampire tried to continue to protest. Once Xander was sure that the vampire would follow his command, he reached up and pulled the eye patch from his face, revealing the scarred flesh that was the symbol of Spike's failure.
Xander ducked his head, hiding his warped face from the vampire's gaze. "If this is the worst scar I get leaving the Hellmouth behind, I'll be surprised. I've seen a lot of horrors here; I'll just be one of them."
"No," Spike blurted as he reached out and cupped the strong chin, forcing the remaining hazel eye to look at him. "Not you. White hat 'til the end. You'll come out of this, able to tell your grubby little grandkids about the grand battle some day."
Xander couldn't help but chuckle at that. He leaned forward so that his forehead rested against the vampire's and they remained like that for a long time, frozen in an unusual tableau that neither man found the desire to break.
"Promise me," Xander finally whispered, his sweet, warm breath brushing against the vampire's cool lips.
"Anything," Spike swore, and he knew in his heart that he meant it.
"Tomorrow, when all this is over, you'll tell them that I love them."
Spike nodded, agreeing silently, even as he protested. "You can tell them yourself. You'll make it through. You're not the one that's going to be wearing the amulet of doom from the Elizabeth Taylor collection." The vampire pulled out the god-awful piece of jewelry that was supposed to save the world and held it between them so they could look at it without moving from their position.
Both men touched the cool stone, not surprised to feel the small vibrations of power emanating from deep inside the small amulet. "This will keep you safe," Xander whispered. "Protect you and all of us."
Xander waited, wanting to say more but unable to put into words what was in his soul. So he leaned forward and breached the short distance between them, pressing his warm lips against Spike's cool, slack mouth.
Xander figured he really must have shocked the vampire because Spike remained frozen, even when Xander pressed further into the kiss. Figuring he had been rejected, Xander began to pull away, ashamed that he thought Spike might want this, want him.
Suddenly Spike's hand shot out and wrapped in the thick, dark brown hair, holding Xander captive as he slowly began to respond.
Soft lips opened and two tongues, one hot, the other cool, began tentatively exploring, learning the taste and texture of each other. Xander moaned, leaning into the vampire even as Spike sought to pull him closer. The human moaned as he gave in ever more to the vampire's demands and Spike swallowed the sound, taking it into himself and matching it with his own.
It wasn't until they both heard giggling coming from the house that they realized that they were outside where anyone could see them. Spike pulled back and smiled at the boy as Xander ducked his head again, trying to hide his face. Pulling Xander's face up, Spike slowly stroked his thumb over the scarred socket as he stared into the lust-glazed hazel eye.
"You wanna go inside. Nobody comes downstairs anymore. Be nice and private."
Xander was so quiet and so still for so long that Spike was sure that the boy had realized what he was doing and changed his mind. As he moved to stand, Spike's hand was caught and he turned to face Xander again.
"It's quiet, right? Can't hear anybody else?"
Spike smiled and, chuckling lightly, replied, "You won't be able to. You want me to listen for you? Red and her bird say some pretty interesting things in the heat of it."
"Gods, no," Xander groaned as he stood and led the vampire by the hand as they slipped unseen into the basement, making sure to lock the door behind them.
Spike was afraid that once they were in the seclusion of what was serving as the vampire's bedroom, Xander would come to his senses and change his mind; but he was pleasantly surprised when the young man pinned him to the large post and attacked his mouth with a passion.
Hands gently explored as both men wanted, but didn't want to demand: needed, but needed permission as well.
Slowly, shirts were discarded before fingers slipped below waistbands and Spike finally couldn't take it any longer.
"Xander, just tell me this is ok, that you're not going to hate me for this later."
"Spike," Xander breathed, panting and gasping. "I need this, ok? This may very well be my last night on earth and I need to know that just for tonight, everything's going to be alright."
Spike was determined to do that for Xander, for right now, make everything alright.
Soft lips turned hard as they attacked each other as their need set them off in a frenzy of desire and passion. This was more than a distraction from the battle to come; it was a chance to capture what could have been.
Spike stripped the boy and stood back to get a good look at the human before him. He had teased Xander relentlessly in the past, still did, but it was just their way, almost like their version of foreplay. What could they have been if he hadn't been so busy chasing after the slayer and Xander hadn't been hiding so deep in the closet he couldn't see the light of day? If tonight were any indication, they could have been amazing.
The chubbiness the boy had accumulated had melted away with his recent foray into manual labor, leaving behind the curve and dip of muscles hard-earned. It made Spike's mouth water with the need to taste this nummy treat.
Smiling at Xander's blush, Spike slowly reached down and undid his belt before opening his jeans and slipping out of them as he toed off his boots. Standing naked, letting Xander take in his fill, the vampire wondered at the situation, strange as it was, until Xander slowly began to approach him.
He stood still as the dark-haired boy reached out and began to trace the muscles of Spike's abdomen with his warm fingers. Spike practically purred at the treatment, sighing as Xander explored his body, learning his body as it by braille.
"I knew you'd be amazing," Xander whispered, still touching the vampire, needing to know him in every way possible before the night was over.
Spike could only take so much of the gentle exploration before he wrapped his arms around the boy and took his mouth in another bruising kiss. Maneuvering them to the makeshift bed, Spike laid the boy down before blanketing him with his body. They kissed and rocked against each other, bringing each other higher with the slick slide of cock against cock until Spike looked into the hazel eyes and purred, "Xander. I want you."
The human man smiled and spread his legs, letting the cool body settled down between them and he gasped as the vampire's hard cock began to prod against his balls, slipping down to brush his entrance.
Pulling nearly all the way off the boy, Spike began to search frantically for something, anything to ease his way. Smiling at the lotion on the shelf, he reached for the small bottle even as he wondered where it came from.
"Anya," Xander answered as if he had read Spike's thoughts. "When she and I were, you know, down here. It was like a goodbye thing. She brought it with her."
The blush covering Xander's face and chest was intriguing, if not tempting to the vampire and he smirked as he opened the bottle and poured out a generous amount of slick lotion. He considered teasing the boy, making more of the blood rush to the surface, making him smell even that much better, but he decided against it. For now, having a willing, wanton partner like Xander was more than enough.
"Ok, Xan. This is probably going to be cold." Bringing his fingers past the boy's balls and down to his hole, Spike slowly circled the tight muscle before slipping a single finger inside. He was surprised that Xander wasn't as tight as he had expected. He raised a single eyebrow and Xander caved.
"Anya, lotion, that's all I'm going to say," Xander blurted and the blush returned full force.
Spike laughed and added a second finger as he leaned down to sniff and lick at the blood filled skin of Xander's neck. He quickly but carefully prepared the boy, exploring the taste of salt and sweat and need seeping from the skin of Xander's neck and chest. By the time he was ready, Xander was a quivering puddle of need.
Lining up and bracing himself, Spike sought once more for reassurance. "You're sure, Xan?"
"Spike," Xander practically growled. "If you don't fuck me right now, I'll kill you."
"Works for me," Spike chuckled and then he was silenced as he slid into the hottest, tightest, most perfect piece of heaven he had ever known. He had to open his eyes to make sure Xander was still there, for the vampire was sure he had burnt up from the heat and pure pleasure of this boy.
Xander groaned as he was breached. The unfamiliar stretch burned but felt so good. Spike immediately stilled, wanting to give the human a moment to adjust but Xander rolled his hips up as he wrapped his legs around the slim waist, pulling Spike even further within him. He wanted to feel this, needed to remember this if he made it through the day ahead.
Taking the hint, Spike reluctantly pulled out of the delicious heat before slowly sinking back in. He wanted to go slow, make it good for the boy, but his body betrayed him and began to thrust in a steady rhythm, quickly increasing his pace as Xander began to moan and buck beneath him.
Hands roamed as the need to touch became all consuming. Lips kissed and sucked as tongues tasted, wanting to remember every texture and flavor of the other.
Much too soon for Spike, he felt the familiar tightening that signaled his approaching orgasm and he braced himself on one arm before reaching between their writhing bodies to grip Xander's cock. It was dripping with need and the boy cried out when Spike's cool fingers wrapped around his hardness.
Losing his rhythm, Spike began pounding into Xander with frenzy, hoping he wasn't hurting the boy but unable to stop himself. Xander, for his part, began to buck hard beneath the vampire as he tried to thrust his cock into the tempting tightness of Spike's fist before he slammed his ass down to impale himself on the wonderfully hard cock inside him.
Blue eyes locked onto the dilated hazel below and both men cried out as quietly as possible as they came hard, trembling as they came down from the orgasmic high.
Finally catching his non-existent breath, Spike slowly pulled out of Xander's still clenching ass and collapsed next to him on the makeshift bed.
"Wow," Xander whispered.
"Yeah," Spike agreed. Unsure of what to do next, Spike lay still next to the boy, wondering if he would just fall asleep. Instead, Xander reached over and pulled the vampire to him and Spike went willingly, resting his head on the warm chest. He listened to the hammering heartbeat for a long time, making it his own until Xander's hands began to wander yet again.
"You tired?" Xander asked after a few quiet moments.
"I'm a vampire, Xan," Spike replied with a smile. "I'm supposed to be awake at night. Besides, never really can sleep the night before a big fight."
"Good," Xander purred as he pushed the vampire onto his back and rested on top of him.
The spent the night together; touching and fucking, imprinting each other on their psyches. Xander just knew one of them wasn't going to make it and he needed this, needed something to hold onto. Spike just wanted one perfect night before his final end.
They stayed together, loving without saying the words, until morning's first light.
Neither man wanted to say good night. It sounded too much like goodbye.
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