This trilogy is a product of my bad mood and the fabulous prompt from slashthedrabble of "Please don't"

Rating: Mild
Pairing: James/Nick
Author's Note: This takes place during Season 6 of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, is obviously RPS, and is as moody as I am today.

Backstage!verse

by
Strickens_girl

The Argument

Nick watched from off set, scowling at his friend. He hated it when things were like this. Too often lately, their character's actions were influencing their own, when they were alone and they didn't have to pretend to hate each other.

The blond was filming another violent sex scene with Sarah and he knew he shouldn't watch. It hurt to see him with her when Nick knew they'd be replaying the scene later without an audience.

'Cut' was called and the scene ended with Sarah walking away quickly. Nick watched as James watched her, sadness in his eyes as she disappeared, only to be replaced by anger when he spotted the younger man watching from the sidelines.

The blond swept away, pulling on the robe to cover himself as he stalked toward his trailer.

Nick followed shortly thereafter, waiting until he couldn't stand it any longer. He tried the door, surprised to find it locked. "James," he called quietly. When there was no answer, he knocked. The other man had never kept him away before, not like this. "James, please..." he called, surprised at the desperation in his own voice.

When the trailer door whipped open, revealing an obviously pissed off James, Nick simply stared, refusing to say a word until the older man let him in. After several long minutes that seemed to last an eternity, the blond stepped aside silently, letting the shaking boy inside.

As soon as the door closed behind him, Nick reached for his friend, his lover but the other turned away, evaded him like he did when he was pissed.

"James, fuck!" Nick pleaded softly. "What the fuck is going on? You haven't said three words to me all damn week. What did I do this time?"

The brunet tried to think back to what had happened the last few days. Usually when his lover was distant like this, Nick had said something, made a barb too real, too sharp, too close to home, that he hurt the man who tried to pretend that his words didn’t hurt.

James scowled at Nick, a look halfway between pain and hate before picking up a magazine and throwing it on the table. Nick felt all the blood drain from his face when he saw the picture of him and Tessa, announcing their engagement.

"James..." he started before he found himself pressed up against the counter, a very pissed off, nearly naked man in his face.

"You didn't even have the decency to tell me yourself to my face." Nick was surprised at the slight shake in the normally calm man's voice. Slowly, he lifted his hands to the face he knew as well as his own. He shifted, aligning his body with the smaller man's like he had done so many times before, sighing as his lover tried to move away but couldn't.

"Please don't..." Nick whispered as he pressed his lips against the sweetest he'd ever known, praying that he hadn't ruined everything this time.

The Apology

James was mad, angry beyond anything he had known before. He'd let himself get close again, let someone in, someone that could hurt him so deeply. It was just almost more than he could bear, being tossed aside like this.

He swore after Boreanaz he wouldn't put himself in the same situation again, but as he looked at the picture of Nicky, his Nicky, smiling with that girl on his arm, he felt his heart shatter yet again. The worst part is that the boy knew. They had spent more than a few hours, drunk and high on sex and drugs, talking about the man that had left them both high and dry.

Dave had moved swiftly through the cast; first was Sarah, then Nick until James became his boytoy. At least until he announced his engagement to Jaime. He had his perfect little Playmate wife and was going to stop fucking James for a chance to have a pretty suburban life.

James had decided there and then he wouldn't let it happen again, but then Nicky started turning up more often, with those sad, kicked puppy eyes and love me, hurt me attitude. It was irresistible to the man who knew that same hurt all too well.

He felt himself getting lost in the kiss as Nick caressed him with those sinfully soft lips and wet, velvety tongue. He slowly realized the younger man was slowly grinding his jean covered cock against him and whispering between kisses, just the word, 'Please'.

Summoning all his strength, James got his hands against the broad chest and pushed, trying to get the younger man to stop, to breathe, to let him think with more than just his dick.

"Nicky," he panted, knowing the endearment would bring the boy back to himself. "I can't do this again. I've been your dirty little secret and I was cool with it, but I'm not going to sit back and wait for you to walk away to live your happy little life with the wife and rugrats."

Nick stared into the azure eyes, searching for a clue as to what his lover was saying. Suddenly, recognition flared inside him and he gasped, trying to pull the man closer.

"No, baby, it's not like that."

"Not like what?" James growled. "Not like you're willing to fuck around with me until you find someone else? Get yourself some pretty girl to parade around on your arm to look good for the magazines?"

Nick had that little sad smile that screamed 'love me, kick me', the one that James could never resist. "You don't get it. Tessa is good for me. Keeps me sane. But she knows, J. She knows all about us. I couldn't imagine you not being a part of me. Please..."

James recognized the desperation in his lover's voice; he heard it in his own too often.

"Please what, Nicky?"

Hazel eyes shone with unshed tears as Nick broken pleaded, "Please don't...just please don't leave me."

The Aftermath

James stared into the watery, hazel eyes. He knew Nick was telling the truth. Some people say the eyes are the windows to the soul, but with Nicky, they would be fucking 20 foot projectors with subtitles. It's what could make the boy a great actor, or a shitty one. No matter what his words or body language said, Nicky's eyes told the real story.

And right then, they were screaming at James. Begging for love and understanding, pleading for a single touch or kind word, exposing the hope the boy dared to hold on to.

Nicky was all but on his knees, begging for the older man to keep him. How many times had James wished he had asked, begged, pleaded for someone to stay? Maybe then, someone would have.

James knew that if he listened to his better judgment, he'd give Nicky a hug and a smack on the ass and tell him to leave and get on with his life. Unfortunately, James rarely used his better judgment, so he reached up, threading his fingers in the sable locks before pulling his boy down for a bruising kiss.

Nick sighed into the kiss, his whole body sagging with relief. He was so worried that he had fucked this up completely with his lover, but now James was taking him, claiming him again.

They remained locked, kissing brutally with teeth and tongue until James heard the familiar whimper of need escape Nicky's slick, kiss swollen lips. He pulled away, the both of them gasping for air as he pushed the younger man toward the back of his trailer.

"Strip," James growled as he did the same. Stalking into the small bedroom, he smiled at the trembling boy already naked and bent over the tiny bed. "So beautiful like that. Want me to take you, boy? Hurt you and heal you and make you mine?"

Nick groaned as the familiar words washed over him. He needed this, wanted it so badly, he had to fight to keep the tears at bay. Unable to speak, Nick simply nodded his head in answer.

James smirked as he reached for the lube. With only the barest of preparation, he pushed inside the tight, warm haven, moaning loudly. Threading his fingers in the dark hair, he drove inside the younger man, hard and deep, while he pushed the flushed, sweating face into the covers.

He thrust into Nick hard, part punishment, part reward until both men were on the edge. Wanting to see the expressive eyes, James pulled out and flipped Nick over onto his back. Throwing the long, muscular legs over his shoulders, James dove back inside in one long thrust.

Leaning forward to claim the sweet lips he craved, James bent the boy nearly in half, pounding his prostate as he fucked him in earnest.

"Please..." Nicky begged.

"Please what, baby?"

"Please don't ever stop fucking me."

James leaned back, azure eyes meeting hazel before he whispered, "Never," as they both came.

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