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In which yet another author perverts yet another icon of childhood, and we have fun with Spike and Xander.

Dick 'n Jane


Reading Level One

See Spike.

Spike is a vampire.

Spike has pretty blue eyes and funny white hair.

This is Xander.

Xander is a human.

Xander is tall and has brown eyes.

See Spike and Xander.

What are they doing?

Oh, look!

Spike and Xander are kissing!

Kiss. Kiss. Kiss.

See Xander.

Xander is helping Spike.

Spike is taking off his pants.

Now Spike is naked.

Xander wants to be naked too.

Xander takes off his own pants.

Spike and Xander are touching each other now.

Touch. Touch. Touch.

"Xander!" says Spike. "Please!"

It's always good to use your manners.

"Please, Xander, please!" says Spike. "Suck me!"

Xander sucks Spike.

Xander sucks Spike hard.

Suck Xander, suck!

Suck. Suck. Suck.

"I'm coming, Xander!" says Spike.

When Spike comes, Xander swallows it all.

Now Spike is sucking Xander.

It's a good thing vampires don't need to breathe, isn't it?

Spike is still sucking Xander.

Xander is making funny noises.

See how red Xander's face is!

"Spike!" Xander yells.

Xander comes.

Spike swallows.

Xander and Spike lay on the floor.

See Xander and Spike fall asleep.

The End

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The Spander Files