Why Comic Book Movies Suck...
Comic book movies are utter stupidity. They were forced on the world. The only reason they're still standing is because all the geeks at Aint it Cool News aren't against them. Nobody has anything against them. When a trend of stupid mainstream movies came out, these were the guys that objected to them. Since these guys love their comic book collections as much as their DVD collections they don't object.
I have yet to see a good comic book movie. With all due credit to Sam Raimi, director of Spider-man 1 and 2, no comic book movie has been good. Spider-man comes closest but it's not all that great of a flick. I am really getting tired of computer generated good guys or bad guys. Sam Raimi directed one of the greatest horror movies of all time, Evil Dead. He has a huge following of loyal fans mostly revolving around the Evil Dead series. He's directed some great crap like The Quick and the Dead, A Simple Plan (Not the MTV band), The Gift, and Dark Man. He has gone and made a movie that relies on how convincing it's CG effects are rather than the things that truly count. His movies usually weren't deep but they were very entertaining when it was harder to be entertaining. It used to be we'd get one special effects movie in a group of 7. Now everything is special effects. I want to murder this stupid trend that's bringing cinema to a crap-hault.
Also, I was told Hellboy was Guillermo del Toro's masterpiece of a movie. It was the same shit I'd expect seeing something like Daredevil or Van Helsing. Oh my god! Hellboy says "crap" alot! He's the coolest dude ever! I would never consider the work that a bunch of guys sitting at computers did, my own masterpeice. Utter stupidity...
I'd like to expand more and go into better detail of why these moives suck but I'm ready to go skating.
UPDATE: 5-30-04
Okay, I'm back from skating. I need to make this a longer and better article so...
Here's why computer generated effects are destroying anything good about movies:
What makes a movie good is the feeling it creates. A horror movie creates fear. A comedy makes you laugh. It's simple. If the only thing the movie is riding on is it's special fx than you've created a crap movie. Now for some reason these computer generated movies are being creditted as the best.
I saw Freddy Vs. Jason. It had some good moments like certain actresses taking off articles of clothing but the fights between Freddy and Jason were mediocre. The gore was nothing but computer generated. The best gore is and will always be gore that is on film. A good film, If you look at the dailies, the actor isn't wearing a blue suit that says "put intestines here", you see what you're going to see. Holding a movie to a high credit just because the special fx look cool is saying "Continue to throw dumb bullshit at me. I'll eat it as long as DMX jumps from a plane that explodes behind him."
Stop bending over for these people and pay for movies that involve what originally made a movie good. Things like dilemmas between characters that aren't computer animated ghost pirates. I give the American Pie movies much more credit than Pirates Of The Carribean because those lesbians and piss weren't made by some programmers at a computer.
One action movie that came out last year that gets a lot of credit from me is Kill Bill Vol. 1. It had a lot of kick ass action with barely any use of computers. It destroys Underworld which was so computer special fx heavy I wanted to kill myself. In Kill Bill they had to take out the wires Uma Thurman's wearing at certain points but besides that, the whole thing is good. As long as it's not the computers making Uma jump 15 feet in the air, it's acceptable. The whole movie lives off the original things that make movies so great to watch. It uses techniques that date back to the birth of film. Now I'm not going to gett into the whole "Quentin Tarantino stole from other movies" or "He's a self-centered asshole" arguments because I don't give a shit. I was entertained. I'm giving this movie credit for standing out from the other crap action it came along with.
I'm going to see White Chicks before I see The Chronicles of Riddick and I hope you do the same becuase those Wayans brothers are hilarious.