We spend our entire life times striving to find people to connect with.
Once, just onceÖ I wish that when you found them, that they would stay.
Losing people never gets easier
I have exhausted the last ounces of energy I have left to try to halt time and delay the inevitable.
But, each day hits me with an even harder realization that this is actually happening.
My greatest fear is that the next time I see you will be the last.
That the next time we say goodbye, that will be the last time I will hear your voice.
No matter how well you have planned, life always seems to get in the way,
and so Iím worried that life will lead you in a different path than the one back to Oklahoma.
I donít want to see you go,
and it makes me absolutely sick at my heart to think that you would never be coming back.
Moving is like a death, no matter how much warning you have received, it never makes it easier to let go.
I wanted to be strong.
I knew how hard it was making it for you leave with tears flowing in your wake.
I wanted to be supportive.
I wanted to be able to send you off with a smile on my face, with the promise of an even happier return.
I wanted to wait until you left to cry.
I used every force of effort I could gather not to break down and cry.
But then, you would smile, you would glance over at me, you would laugh
and I would have to start gathering it up all over again.
Even then, you never failed to bring a smile to my face.
But every time I look at you, every time I talk to you, every time all I can think about is needing more time.
Iím not ready for you to leave yet.
Somehow I suspect that even if I had another year, I still wouldnít be ready to give you up.
My car seems so empty when you leave.
My phone seems so worthless once you hang up.
My day feels so bleak with out you in it.
You have become an integral part of my life, a part that I enjoyed growing accustomed to.
A part I donít want to have to be without.
All I can think about is how I am going to miss you.
You have been such a wonderful friend to me these last few months when I needed one the most.
I have spent more of my recent life with you than anyone else.
I thank you so much for being there.
Even if we didnít talk about it very much,
just knowing that I had you as a friend made my life easier to cope with.
I could never forget you if I tried for a million years.
You are truly the most genuine and sincere person I have ever known.
You have so many wonderful qualities that I admire, and quite a few more I envy.
I wish I had the strength that you do, I know it takes a lot to do what you are doing.
It is something I still canít do, no matter how necessary it is.
I am going to miss you when your gone.
Which seems unfathomable because I miss you so much now already, its hard to imagine feeling worse.
You have been so good and kind to me, and I am reluctant to relinquish that from my life.
However, I know that we often canít choose what obstacles life throws at us,
and I know that this is something that must be done.
This is some thing that must be said.
Take care Jimmy.
I miss you already.