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Forward: This coming Saturday on Slammin', Austin is set to take on the ECW Legend Tazz in a singles match. This will be Austin's first match since Ultimate Revolution 2. Can Austin pick up a win over Tazz? Or will Austin fall victim to the Tazzmission? Remember, Austin has never tapped out, will this Saturday be the first time?
Scene #1: D.W.'s Bar, Austin Arrested?!
Purpose: To Continue Where We Left Off!
The scene opens up, and we pick up right where we left off....!
Police Officer: All right, everyone put your hands in the air! And you, drop the stool!
Austin stops and looks at the police officers standing in front of him.....
Police Officer: Sir, put the stool down now....
Austin does what the police officer says, and slowly puts down the stool.
Police Officer: All right, now put your hands up....
"The Bionic Redneck" Stone Cold Steve Austin: Okay officer, but...
Police Officer: Put your hands over your head.
"The Bionic Redneck" Stone Cold Steve Austin: I was jus.....
Police Officer: Now!!!
Austin finally does what he's told, he puts his hands up, and then places them over top of his head... Just as he does this, the rest of the police officers move in to take Austin and the two men he was fighting with, in custody. Billy Bob tries to explain his innocents to the officers.
"Trouble Maker #2" Billy Bob: Please, that guy is a mad man officers! He attacked me and my friend for no good reason....
"The Bionic Redneck" Stone Cold Steve Austin: Like hell I did!!!! Those two assholes started with me first!!!
Police Officer: OKAY! Enough! All three of you place your hands behind your back, and listen closely as I read you your Miranda Rights.....
The Police Officers place Austin, Billy Bob, and Travis under arrest..... After they finish reading them their Miranda Rights, the officers take them out side and get each of their accounts of what happened.... Starting with Austin's.
Police Officer: Now, from the top, what happened?
"The Bionic Redneck" Stone Cold Steve Austin: Well it's like this officer, I was minding my own business.... Drinking a few beers, like I do almost every night some where or another. And well, all of a sudden those two jack asses show up....
Police Officer: Watch the lanuage...
"The Bionic Redneck" Stone Cold Steve Austin: Excuse me. Those two guys show up, and they start trash talking me. At first I tried to keep my composure.... But after about the third time that they tapped me on the back, looking for a fight, I just had to give them one.
Police Officer: Okay....So, those two show up, hound you, and then what happens?
"The Bionic Redneck" Stone Cold Steve Austin: Well just like I said officer..... They were looking for a fight, so I gave them one! I mean, im not gonna sit there and take it, that's not me, that's not Stone Cold!
Police Officer: All right, well then what happened?
"The Bionic Redneck" Stone Cold Steve Austin: Well I took the glass that I had my beer in, and I bashed that one guy across the face with it.... I started stomping on him, his friend jumped in, he tackled me...... We wrestled around on the ground for a while, I started whooping his ass again, then from out of no where the other guy hit me in the head with something..... I don't know what it was but it shattered all over the floor and it hurt like hell whatever it was! And then after that, they tried to double team me, but I fought back.... I knocked that one out cold, and I was about to do the same to the other one....but then you guys showed up.
Police Officer: Okay... Well, im gonna have to place you under arrest, and take you to jail.
"The Bionic Redneck" Stone Cold Steve Austin: It was self defense officer! Are you telling me a man can't defend himself anymore in this day and age?
Police Officer: No that's not what im saying... It may have been self defense, but that's up to a judge to decide....
"The Bionic Redneck" Stone Cold Steve Austin: Well what about the other two? What's going to happen to them?
Police Officer: I don't know.... Let me go find out their side of the story and then I'll get back to you.... More then likely though, they'll be taken in just like you.
The officer walks away, leaving Austin standing by his Patrol Car as he goes to get the other two's side of the story..... A short while later he returns.
Police Officer: Well it's like this, all three of you will be going to jail. You'll each have your own cell. And all three of you will have a hearing together tommorow morning. Good luck in court....
"The Bionic Redneck" Stone Cold Steve Austin: Wait, wait! Officer..... Can I speak to the owner of the bar, he's my friend, and he should have been the one who called the cops....
Police Officer: Why do you need to speak to him?
"The Bionic Redneck" Stone Cold Steve Austin: Look, can I speak with him or not?
The officer looks around and spots Darren....
Police Officer: Stay here, I'll go get him....
The officer leaves, and a few seconds later he comes back with Darren....
"The Bionic Redneck" Stone Cold Steve Austin: Darren.
"Bar Owner" Darren Webster: Steve.... Hey man, im sorry about calling the cops but....
"The Bionic Redneck" Stone Cold Steve Austin: Darren, can't you just drop the charges on me? I mean your the one who called the cops, and it was in your bar... Officer, if he drops charges against me will I go free?
Police Officer: Hmmmmmm.... I don't know, I think you would... (turns to Darren) Just show up at the court house tommorow morning at noon and tell the judge your droping all charges against him, and he should be acquitted.
"Bar Owner" Darren Webster: Okay Officer. (turns to Austin) I'll see you at noon.
With that taken care of and out of the way.... The Police Officer loads Austin into his Patrol Car....The other officers to the same to Travis and Billy Bob..
Scene ends....!
Scene #2: In Jail, The Hearing!
Purpose: To Decide Austin's fate!
The scene comes to light, and we see Austin laying in his cell bed asleep....When a rattling on the cell bars is heard....
The noise wakes Austin up. He rubs his eyes and looks to see who it is.... A Police Officer stands outside Austin's cell...
Police Officer: Come on, time to go.... Your Hearing starts in 15 minutes.
"The Bionic Redneck" Stone Cold Steve Austin: How long will it take to get to the Court House?
Police Officer: Not long, it's right across the street...
Austin gets up as the officer opens the door.... Austin walks out, and the officer puts him in handcuffs. Then they head for the Court House.
5 minutes later
They arrive at the Court House... The officer un handcuffs Austin, and sits him beside Billy Bob and Travis.
The Judge bangs him mallet, and orders the Hearing of Billy Bob Junior, Travis Walker, and Steve Williams to begin. The Judge asks to see the charges filed against the men... He receives the files, reads them carefully, and then speaks...
"The Judge" Jim Hathorne: Men, these are some serious charges filed against you by the owner of the bar you fought in. Your being sued for property damage, disturbing the peace, and the state has filed assault charges on all three of you. Now, do any of you have anything to say before I announce your Court Date?
"The Bionic Redneck" Stone Cold Steve Austin: Yes, I do your honor. (points at Darren) Do you see that man sitting over there? He's the owner of the bar, his name is Darren Webster. He's decided to drop all charges against me your honor.
"The Judge" Jim Hathorne: (looks at Darren) Is this true?
"Bar Owner" Darren Webster: Yes your honor. I'm willing to testify that Steve had no responsibility to what happened. He was provoked, and was only defending himself. So, not only am I droping the charges of property damage, and disturbing the peace, I also ask for you to drop the charges of assault filed by the state.
"The Judge" Jim Hathorne: (thinks for a second, then turns to Austin) Well, enlight of these developements.... Mr. Williams, I am acquitting you of all charges, including the charge of assault by the state. But you just make sure to stay out of trouble from now on.
"The Bionic Redneck" Stone Cold Steve Austin: Thank you your honor!
"The Judge" Jim Hathorne: Your welcome. But as far as Billy Bob Junior and Travis Walker are concerned, you two will meet back here in two weeks from now....For you Court Date. (bangs his mallet) Dismissed!
Austin is then released.... After the Hearing he meets back up with his friend Darren outside.
"The Bionic Redneck" Stone Cold Steve Austin: Hey man, thanks again for helping me out. I owe you one.
"Bar Owner" Darren Webster: Don't worry about it. I mean, what would I do if one of my best customers couldn't come down to my bar anymore? (laughs) Oh yeah, I almost forgot... (points to a parking lot across the road) I made sure they didn't impound your truck last night....I told them it was mine. I drove it over here so you could get it back.
"The Bionic Redneck" Stone Cold Steve Austin: Thanks... So, do you need a ride anywhere?
"Bar Owner" Darren Webster: No, my wife is coming to pick me up shortly.
"The Bionic Redneck" Stone Cold Steve Austin: Well all right then.... I'll see ya around.
"Bar Owner" Darren Webster: Yep!
The two men go their seperate ways... Austin climbs into the cab of his truck, and drives away....
Scene fades to black...!
Scene #3: Austin makes his way back to the arena, and is interviewed!
Purpose: To Hype Slammin'!
The Scene comes to light, and we see Austin entering the arena. He seems pleased to be out of jail, but at the same time upset that he was in jail in the first place.... As Austin walks down the long corridors of the arena, he is suddenly approached by Johnathan Coachman.
"World's Greatest Ring Announcer, in his mind anyway" The Coach: Austin, there you are! I've been looking everywhere for you.... Is it true that you spent last night in jail?
"The Bionic Redneck" Stone Cold Steve Austin: Yeah, what of it? Are you my parole officer or somethin'?
"World's Greatest Ring Announcer, in his mind anyway" The Coach: No. I was just wondering why you spent the night in jail? There have been a lot of rumors going around...
"The Bionic Redneck" Stone Cold Steve Austin: Like?
"World's Greatest Ring Announcer, in his mind anyway" The Coach: Oh I don't know..... Things like: A domestic dispute, DWI, ect.... You know, things like that. So, what's the real reason you were arrested?
"The Bionic Redneck" Stone Cold Steve Austin: I got in a bar fight.
"World's Greatest Ring Announcer, in his mind anyway" The Coach: Really?! How did that happen? And will this effect your performance in your match against Tazz this week on Slammin'?
Austin looks down at the floor, then back up at Coach.
"The Bionic Redneck" Stone Cold Steve Austin: Look, now isn't a really good time.... I just got released; meet me in front of my lockerroom in an hour, we'll conduct this interview then.
"World's Greatest Ring Announcer, in his mind anyway" The Coach: Okay.... Well, see you in an hour....
Austin heads to his lockerroom.
An hour later
Coach is standing outside Stone Cold's lockerroom talking into the camera, which image is being put up onto the Titan-Tron.
"World's Greatest Ring Announcer, in his mind anyway" The Coach: Ladies and Gentlemen, Johnathan Coachman here! I'm standing outside Stone Cold's lockerroom, where shortly I should be getting a word with him. Last night, Austin spent a night in jail for getting in a fight at a bar, hopefully soon we'll find out some details. Will this effect Austin's match on Slammin' this week? Only Austin knows the answer.
Just then, Austin's lockerroom door swings open, and Stone Cold steps outside into camera view. The fans in the arena Cheer as Austin's image flashes across the Titan-Tron.
"World's Greatest Ring Announcer, in his mind anyway" The Coach: And speaking of Austin, here he is now! Stone Cold, could you give us the details of last night, and what exactly took place?
"The Bionic Redneck" Stone Cold Steve Austin: Well last night was kinda a crazy night. I mean, first I left the arena (What?!) I drove over to D.W.'s Bar and Grill (What?!) I drunk me a couple of beers (What?!) opened up a few cans of whoop ass (What?!) got arrested (What?!) taken to jail (What?!) incacerated (What?!) PUT IN COSTODY! (What?!) After that... I went to sleep (What?!) Had a few dreams (What?!) woke up (What?!) got taken to my Hearing (What?!) had my charges dropped (What?!) GOT RELEASED! (What?!) got my truck back (What?!) came back here (What?!) Ran into this ugly bastard! (points at Coach, What?!, and then some Cheers and laughs) and now im doin' this interview (What?!, then Cheers!)
"World's Greatest Ring Announcer, in his mind anyway" The Coach: All right... Well, you said you had charges filed against you? What exactly were they?
"The Bionic Redneck" Stone Cold Steve Austin: Oh you know, the usual.... disturbing the peace, assault, sued for property damage. Nothing major.
"World's Greatest Ring Announcer, in his mind anyway" The Coach: Nothing major? (gives off a slight chuckle) Those sound like some serious charges to me.
"The Bionic Redneck" Stone Cold Steve Austin: Nah, just the usual.
"World's Greatest Ring Announcer, in his mind anyway" The Coach: Uh huh.... And you say the charges were dropped correct?
"The Bionic Redneck" Stone Cold Steve Austin: What?!
"World's Greatest Ring Announcer, in his mind anyway" The Coach: And you say the charges were dropped?
"The Bionic Redneck" Stone Cold Steve Austin: What?!
"World's Greatest Ring Announcer, in his mind anyway" The Coach: (a little irritated over the "What's") And you say the charges were dropped against you?
"The Bionic Redneck" Stone Cold Steve Austin: Yeah! Weren't you listening?
"World's Greatest Ring Announcer, in his mind anyway" The Coach: (shakes his head) Anyway.... After spending the night in jail, do you think your in ring performance will be affected in anyway?
"The Bionic Redneck" Stone Cold Steve Austin: No, of course not. I'm Stone Cold Steve Austin! (fans Cheer) I get sent to jail all the time, and all it does is make me more agressive then when I went in there. You see Coach, all being arrested did to me was piss me off just a little bit more... Which is good news for all those Stone Cold fans out there, (fans Cheer) and bad news for Tazz.
"World's Greatest Ring Announcer, in his mind anyway" The Coach: All right. Well, speaking of Tazz.... This Saturday on Slammin' Tazz won't be alone. He'll be accompanied by his manager Jacqline. Do you think you'll have to worry about outside interference this Saturday?
"The Bionic Redneck" Stone Cold Steve Austin: Well Coach, if Tazz's little manager decides to get involved.....she's doing it at her own risk. See....the bottom line is, man or woman, you get in the Rattlesnakes way, and your gonna pay.
"World's Greatest Ring Announcer, in his mind anyway" The Coach: So you don't see Jacqline as a threat then?
"The Bionic Redneck" Stone Cold Steve Austin: No not really. Because the fact of the matter is, wether she gets involved or not.... I'm walking away with a victory. The straight facts are as follows: You put me in a match against anyone, with any stipulation, and the end result will forever and always be a win, for Stone Cold Steve Austin! (fans pop) You see, it doesn't matter what Tazz does, and it doesn't matter what his little manager does.....because by the end of the match, regardless of what happens, it'll be my hand that gets raised in victory. It's just that simple! I'm Stone Cold Steve Austin, and that's how I do things! (fans pop once more!)
"World's Greatest Ring Announcer, in his mind anyway" The Coach: And there you have it folks! A confident Texas Rattlesnake heading into his match on Slammin'... (turns to Austin) Thank you for your time.
Coach extends his hand to shake with Austin. But Stone Cold just gives him a smuck look, and heads back into his lockerroom, as the scene fades to black...!
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