Co-authored by Lee Thornton III

After much deliberation on our part, Lee and I decided that we would expose the truth about our alma mater. *Hail.* Lee originally wanted to call this article "Harding: Why it gets down on its knees and blows." But, you know...

Have any of you noticed how it took you 2 and a half weeks to get your frikken' grades?! Usually it takes 5 or 6 days after the close of the semester. But not this time. I mean, all the teachers had to have their grades in on Saturday after we left. SO THEY HAD THE GRADES. So why did we wait so long???

So alright, we'll trump them and log in to Hunet and find out that way, right? FORGET THAT, Hunet has been conveniently made inaccessible to those off campus, which is what, 98% of all Harding's students during the summer?

You'd think it would be Harding's priviledge to inform its students, who are paying out the butt for their education, of their grades.

Oh, and don't even get us started on the breaks?! Have you guys looked at the calendar? Last year we started on the 13th, were in school for 16 weeks, and were out on the 9th of December. This year, we start on 26th, are still in school for 16 weeks and get out only 4 days later than we would have (the 13th). So how does that work??? Lee asks what Math professor are we consulting on this one. No doubt they've extended the summer break so that we have ample time to get our cafetaria gutted...

Its obscurities like this that blow our minds about Harding. We won't even address curfew, the frikken' rent-a-cops, chapel and the host of other annoyances Harding offers.

Anyway, we figure a couple of jabs at Harding Inc. is sufficient. Gosh I can't wait to graduate.