Ventrue: Okay folks, we have another problem. The "kids" want to know how we will tell eachother apart; what makes us unique.
Toreador: That's easy, we are all unique... special... beautiful in our own way we--
Brujah: Shut the hell up. He means like what separates CLANS you pantywaste.
Malk: Never waste panties... They tell me magical things.
Ventrue: Yes Brujah. What makes us... fit into a category. What makes us... CLAN.
silent pause
Brujah: Yeah... just another way for the "man" to beat us down.
Malk: Which man would that be, mon-capitan?
Brujah: Shut up before I mash you, kook.
Ventrue: *sighs* Any suggestions?
Toreador: Signature clothing?
Tremere: Necklaces? Mystical pendants?
Malk: Derangements! Different derangements assigned to each clan! There are so many different types to chose from, you know.
Brujah: *looks to Nosferatu* Yeah... lemme guess who the Narcissist is...
Nos: I heard that.
Ventrue: I was thinking more along the lines of a weakness... a subtle flaw.
Malk: Oh yeah, silly me, insanity isn't a flaw. Hey! Can my flaw be Kyptonite?
Brujah: *smashes him on the head* I must have a Kyrptonite fist.
Malk: *insane laughter*
Ventrue: Okay Brujah, yours will be a nasty temper. For obvious reasons.
Brujah: TEMPER!? WHAT TEMPER!? Fucking suits... You'd be pissed too, if you had to sit next to Nos and Malk.
Ventrue: *coughs* Torrie, since you love beauty so much, you will be mesmerized by the sheer beauty of the world.
Everyone looks at Nos
Toreador: Tragic, yet beautiful. Agreed.
Malk: I don't know about you all, but I still want Kryptonite. I mean, I have to have something to balance out my insane merits.
Brujah: *SMACK* God damn psycho.
Malk: *supresses a grin but breaks out in mad cackles*
Nos: *Scratches his chin, causing skin to flake off* And my flaw?
Silence
Ventrue: *shivers* We'll get back to you. Gangrel, yours will be: everytime you frenzy you will look more like an animal.
Gangrel: WHAT!? What do you mean "You will look more like an animal!"
Ventrue: It starts off small, you know... fur, deep voice, maybe horns.
Gangrel: WHAT!? Oh come on! Torrie gets to moon over stupid drawings and I get a fucking BEAK!? Yeah, that's real fair... *growls*
Hassim: And I?
Tremere: You can't drink kindred blood. *laughs* It's poison; your hair falls out and you look like him. *points to Nos*
Ventrue: Agreed.
Nos: Still waiting.
Silence
Malk: *giggles*
Hassim: Why does Tremere get to pick my weakness?
Tremere: Ever heard of Blood Magic, heathen?
Hassim: *licks his lips* Me? Never.
Ventrue: Tremere, if Assamite can't drink kindred blood, then you have to drink from all of your elders.
Malk: Speaking of Kryptonite... *claps his hands and jumps in jubilee*
Brujah: *Pounds Malk* Temper.. love it.
Malk: *whispers to himself and then smiles at Brujah* Donna knows where you live.
Ventrue: Lasombra... hmm... you will have no reflection.
Lasombra: *scoffs* You should give that to Nos.
Nos: Why?
Silence
Ventrue: *coughs* I will be right with you, Nos. Is that acceptable, Lasombra?
Lasombra: Yeah, but you guys have to tell me when I have blood on my chin.
Ventrue: No problem. Tzim... Your weakness will be...
Malk: Having some sort of other-dimensional virus that is slowly eating your soul? That, and having a name you can't spell or pronounce? *chuckles*
Ventrue: Yes. I mean, no. You must sleep in your native soil, or at least have some in your coffin.
Gangrel: WHAT!? I get WEBBED TOES and she has to sleep in dirt!?
Tzim: Agreed.
Gangrel: I want a new one.
Nos: Ventrue, I am still waiting. Have you forgotten me?
Silence
Ventrue: Moving right along. Giovanni *thinks* Your Kiss hurts; there is no pleasure in your bite.
Toreador: You can say that again. *coughs*cappaWHAT?*coughs*
Room looks at Torrie
Toreador: Oh... sorry. Was that outloud?
Giovanni: Get drunk one night and it plagues you for the rest your unlife. *sigh*
Ventrue: Ravnos, you are a criminal by nature.
Ravnos: *hands Ventrue back his wallet* Sorry.
Ventrue: *blinks after his hand passes right through it* No. I meant... *shakes head* give me the real wallet, and the money too.
Ravnos: Oh, sorry. Here. *mumbles something about reality being so horrid*
Nos: When do I get my flaw?
Brujah: Heh, at your Embrace.
Stifled Laughter
Ventrue: *coughs* Set, yours will be that you don't like the light.
Gangrel: OH FOR CRYING OUT LOUD! I get a set of BAT WINGS and he doesn't like bright lights!?
Malk: I want my Mummy!
Brujah: *raises his fist at Malk, who simply smiles*
Set: *grins* Agreed. Fair and just. *winks*
Gangrel: *points* He winked! You two had A DEAL SET UP!? *growls* Fucking snakes.
Nos: If you continue to ignore me I will be forced to get UGLY.
Malk: Too late for that now.
Stifled laughter
Ventrue: Am I missing anyone?
Malk: Well, I'm gonna be as strong as Caine if you don't give me Kryptonite.
Tzim: *chuckles* You, little man, have quite enough problems; you don't need an additional flaw.
Ventrue: Then it is settled.
Nos: You have forgotten the two of us, Ventrue.
Brujah: Yeah, Mr.Picky, What is your flaw.
Ventrue: *smiles* I am picky... about what I eat.
Gangrel: *stands up, throwing her chair back* I am leaving! *points around the room* I get udders like a fucking COW and you get to sleep in DIRT!? YOU are a fussy eater!? YOU Get to look at art!? YOU... *finger stops on Nos* Okay, I guess it could be worse. *sits back down, apparantly mollified*
Nos: I get it! You fear my knowing too much, that's my flaw.
Brujah: *laughs* Yup, that's it.
Ventrue: *looks at Nos nervously, then clears his throat* Meeting adjourned!