Well This is my Funny section of my website well really isn't that funny.
New Years Resolution for the typical coach potato (for future reference It's not me)
-I will read more during commercials
-I will stop sending fan mail to Paris Hilton
-I will give myself a hip-hop name like "DJ lazy ass"
-I will stop using "punk'd" as a verb
-I will give myself a queer eye makeover
-I will stop having impure thoughts about the "Olsen" twins
-I will learn to laugh with "Jay Leno" not at
-I will stop having imaginary conversations with Mulder
-Three words: no more "Regis"
-I will audition for "Canadian Idol 2"
-I will stop watching Jessica Simpson to feel better about myself
-Oh ya. Betcha I can I just one!
-I will not refer to 2004 as the "Year of My Personal Farce"
-I will remember to change the batteries in the remote when the clocks spring forward
-I will stop lying about when I met "Oprah"
-I will keep my eyes open during the surgery scene on "Nip/Tuck
-I will stop challenging my cats to a game of "Jeopardy"
-No more "Seinfeld" reruns
-I will pretend the CBC is HBO
-I will stop having nightmare about Michael Jackson and monkeys
-I will stretch before napping on the couch
-I will try not be "shocked" during a show's "Most shocking"
-I will stop laughing nervously during "Sex and the City"
-I will remember "The daily show" is satire
-I will remember "CNN" is not
-Not to self "Spongebob Squarepants" is not a subliminal message for drug use
-Less sports, more chores
-I will stop saying "as if" during "Alias"
-I will be more like Simon Cowell
-I will stop asking strangers to tell what happened on the last week of "The West Wing.
-I will stop confusing Peter Mansbridge with Dr Phil
-I will watch more "HGTV"
-I will watch less "MSNBC"
-I will not try this at home
-I won't cry during "Everwood"
-I will work on some new "Simpsons" impressions
-No more tequila shots during tribunal council
-I will stop referring myself as a "reality junkie"
-I will stop telling people I created "King of Kensington
-I will tear up my Joe Millionaire Application
-I will learn to ignore my spouse in a more believable way
-I will only eat dinner in front of the TV front to the TV if entertainment tonight has a must see cover story
-I will stop dropping "Snuffleupagus" reference into casual conversation
-Three words more "Vicki Gabereau"
-I will stop trying to find a bar where everybody knows my name
-I will find the humor in Saturday night live
-I will stop telling people Ben Affleck was a childhood friend
-I will not mock Canadian TV no matter what Mulder Says!
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