Well This is my Funny section of my website well really isn't that funny.

New Years Resolution for the typical coach potato (for future reference It's not me)

  • -I will read more during commercials
    -I will stop sending fan mail to Paris Hilton
    -I will give myself a hip-hop name like "DJ lazy ass"
    -I will stop using "punk'd" as a verb
    -I will give myself a queer eye makeover
    -I will stop having impure thoughts about the "Olsen" twins
    -I will learn to laugh with "Jay Leno" not at
    -I will stop having imaginary conversations with Mulder
    -Three words: no more "Regis"
    -I will audition for "Canadian Idol 2"
    -I will stop watching Jessica Simpson to feel better about myself
    -Oh ya. Betcha I can I just one!
    -I will not refer to 2004 as the "Year of My Personal Farce"
    -I will remember to change the batteries in the remote when the clocks spring forward
    -I will stop lying about when I met "Oprah"
    -I will keep my eyes open during the surgery scene on "Nip/Tuck
    -I will stop challenging my cats to a game of "Jeopardy"
    -No more "Seinfeld" reruns
    -I will pretend the CBC is HBO
    -I will stop having nightmare about Michael Jackson and monkeys
    -I will stretch before napping on the couch
    -I will try not be "shocked" during a show's "Most shocking"
    -I will stop laughing nervously during "Sex and the City"
    -I will remember "The daily show" is satire
    -I will remember "CNN" is not
    -Not to self "Spongebob Squarepants" is not a subliminal message for drug use
    -Less sports, more chores
    -I will stop saying "as if" during "Alias"
    -I will be more like Simon Cowell
    -I will stop asking strangers to tell what happened on the last week of "The West Wing.
    -I will stop confusing Peter Mansbridge with Dr Phil
    -I will watch more "HGTV"
    -I will watch less "MSNBC"
    -I will not try this at home
    -I won't cry during "Everwood"
    -I will work on some new "Simpsons" impressions
    -No more tequila shots during tribunal council
    -I will stop referring myself as a "reality junkie"
    -I will stop telling people I created "King of Kensington
    -I will tear up my Joe Millionaire Application
    -I will learn to ignore my spouse in a more believable way
    -I will only eat dinner in front of the TV front to the TV if entertainment tonight has a must see cover story
    -I will stop dropping "Snuffleupagus" reference into casual conversation
    -Three words more "Vicki Gabereau"
    -I will stop trying to find a bar where everybody knows my name
    -I will find the humor in Saturday night live
    -I will stop telling people Ben Affleck was a childhood friend
    -I will not mock Canadian TV no matter what Mulder Says!

    Alcohol Test

    If you can't click this button, you must be drunk!
    You have one 60 sec.!



    Are you an idiot?
    Type in your name and see?


    I will add more stuff