I am your god, your leader, your man.
All the little people went out and rejoiced.
Finally a leader with a strong, rockin' voice.
He led the Funky Monkey tribe to da top of Nana Hill.
Where they sang and danced beyond their fill.
The Spunky Monkey looked around and saw what he'd done.
"Look at my people, they're nothin' but bums."
The Spunky Monkey then began rockin' away,
Leavin' the people to meet another day.
But two came beside him with a plee and a quest.
They alone had survived the test.
"O, Spunky Monkey, our leader, our guy,
Won't you help us be cool, be fly?"
Now the Monkey of the Swingers looks down and said:
"Little men, little dudes, the cool's gone to ya head.
"Ya gotta be smart, but cool; say 'come what may'.
I'm the Spunky, Funky Monkey, an' I'm here to stay."
~Aithne Veradine
Brent: priceless
Me: like the MasterCard
***
As official historian of the Spunky, Funky Winking Monkey society, it is my duty to tell you all that the Winking Monkey purse is no more with us. He has disappeared into Unknown, leaving we followers distraught.
It began like any other day, but then it turned evil. I was on my computer talking to a few of my associates on AIM. Among them was Jenn, a good friend of mine, and owner of the Winking Monkey purse (through which the great Spunky, Funky Winking Monkey talked to us).
Since the song telling the story of the Winking Monkey was written only 2 days prior, I asked her to read it in my subprofile. She agreed and read it. It went something like this:
Jenn: funny
Me: all I get is a funny? Sheesh.... =P
Jenn: wait a sec
Jenn: I need to write my review
Me: okay
*Jenn's review.*
Jenn: I needed to top Brent's
Me: Haha
Jenn: guess what
Me: what?
Jenn: I got a new purse!!
Me: WHAT?!
Jenn: I got a new purse.......its so cute!!
Me: What about the winking monkey?!
Jenn: the monkey is obsolete
Jenn: I dont kno how I am going 2 tell Brent tho.....its gonna break his heart
Me: Whe gives a damn about BRENT'S heart?! What about MINE?! You got rid of the SPUNKY, FUNKY WINKING MONKEY PURSE!!!!!
Jenn: You said damn...well d*mn anyway
Me: Because you got rid of the purse!!
Jenn: yep, the purse is gone....
Me: =-O
*The original conversation was lost due to a huge wave of pop-ads sent my Clippit, my mortal enemy. (He will pay.) At any rate, that is mostly how the conversation went.*
Following went:
Jenn: the monkey is obsolete
Me: that's just plain wrong
Me: his spirit still hears you
Jenn: acually he hears me
Me: soooo...what are you going to do with the purse? Hmm?
Jenn: i threw him in a pile in the side of my room
Me: =-O
Me: he has been piled!?
Jenn: he seems happy where he is right now
Me: the monkey is going to attack you with his super-powers in your sleep
Jenn: ah
Thus is the end of the Spunky, Funky Winking Monkey legend. *cries* I know he will be happy--even though we are no longer his people. *grabs tissues by the handfuls* It'll be okay....