Pyrowhere
The Top Ten Things You will Never Hear in Lord of the Rings:
10. Frodo: “Oh, crap. I lost the ring.”
9. Aragorn: “I’m actually against violence.”
8. Gandalf: “All haste! Wait, no, stop—my knee dislocated.”
7. Gollum: “On the good ship Lollipop! It’s a sweet trip to a candy shop! Where....”
6. Frodo (*checking his pockets*): “Sam, did you see where I put the ring last?”
5. Arwen: “Wow, that Legolas could make a sexy replacement for Aragorn.”
4. Pippin: “I’m going off now and make Merry with Merry—no wait. That came out wrong.”
3. Frodo: "My, my, you are a sexy Ringwraith.”
2. Legolas: “My, my, Gimli, what kind of axe are YOU wielding?”
1. Frodo: “SAM, I’M NOT JOKING! WHERE DID I PUT THE FRICKIN RING?!”