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Pyrowhere




Madame Cleo- File #26



Written by Aithne Veradine


Little Boy Blue: Hello? Is this the Madame Cleo Phone Psychic Service?


Madame Cleo: Yes, my child. You have reached the Powers of Fate.


Little Boy Blue: Wow. So, what do you have to say?


Madame Cleo: Life is a cookie.


Little Boy Blue: What kind of cookie?


Madame Cleo: Chocolate chip.


Little Boy Blue: Why chocolate chip?


Madame Cleo: Because chocolate chip tastes yummy in everyone's tummy.


Little Boy Blue: I'm allergic to chocolate.


Madame Cleo: Oh. I guess your life isn’t a chocolate chip cookie then.


Little Boy Blue: No.


Madame Cleo: Oatmeal raisin?


Little Boy Blue: Gross.


Madame Cleo: Sugar Pea-can? Little


Boy Blue: What are pea-cans?


Madame Cleo: Little tiny nuts.


Little Boy Blue: You're nuts.


Madame Cleo: No, little puppet, only one person is truly nuts.


Little Boy Blue: Who?


Madame Cleo: The head of the Italian Mafia.


Little Boy Blue: What does the head of the Italian Mafia have to do with this?


Madame Cleo: He's lactose-intolerant.


Little Boy Blue: So?


Madame Cleo: So, you can't eat cookies without milk. That means, he can't eat cookies. His life can't be a cookie.


Little Boy Blue: What is his life?


Madame Cleo: A banana.


Little Boy Blue: A banana?!


Madame Cleo: Yes, a banana.


Little Boy Blue: Why a banana?!


Madame Cleo: Because if I would have said an apple, you would have asked if it had worms.


Little Boy Blue: You're some psychic.


Madame Cleo: Thank you.


Little Boy Blue: I was being sarcastic.


Madame Cleo: I know. I know all.


Little Boy Blue: So, what is in my future?


Madame Cleo: A headache and a stomach pumping.


Little Boy Blue: What?!


Madame Cleo: Yes, a headache and a stomach pumping.


Little Boy Blue: Why would I have my stomach pumped?


Madame Cleo: You swallow a cookie.


Little Boy Blue: I swallow my life?


Madame Cleo: You must have a big mouth.


Little Boy Blue: I wasted my money in calling you.


Madame Cleo: You wasted your cookie too.


Little Boy Blue: I want my money back.


Madame Cleo: Next thing, you are going to say you want your cookie back too.


Little Boy Blue: As a matter of fact, I do!


Madame Cleo: Too bad, the elephant ate it.


Little Boy Blue: What elephant?!


Madame Cleo: The one I hired as a bodyguard.


Little Boy Blue: Huh. Does he do a good job?


Madame Cleo: As long as I give him cookies.


Little Boy Blue: Can I have another cookie?


Madame Cleo: Give me more money.


Little Boy Blue: I don't have any more. I'm a simple goat-herder in Scotland. How much money do you expect me to have?


Madame Cleo: Enough to keep me talking.


Little Boy Blue: 50 cents?


Madame Cleo: It works for me. What kind of cookie would you like then?


Little Boy Blue: M&M.


Madame Cleo: Oo, sorry. Fresh out.


Little Boy Blue: How can you be fresh out of M&M cookies?!


Madame Cleo: The elephant ate them.


Little Boy Blue: So, give me a banana then. I can be like the head of the Mafia.


Madame Cleo: Which Mafia? Only the Italian Mafia has a banana life. The head of the Russian Mafia is actually a pizza roll.


Little Boy Blue: He's lactose-intolerant too?


Madame Cleo: No, he just hates Subway.


Little Boy Blue: You get all the cookies from Subway?!


Madame Cleo: Mhmm. Eat fresh.


Little Boy Blue: Why can't I just go to Subway to get a cookie?!


Madame Cleo: Because you want to keep an old Jamaican lady in business and--[click] Blue? Bluie?