Pyrowhere
Madame Cleo- File #26
Written by Aithne Veradine
Little Boy Blue: Hello? Is this the Madame Cleo Phone Psychic Service?
Madame Cleo: Yes, my child. You have reached the Powers of Fate.
Little Boy Blue: Wow. So, what do you have to say?
Madame Cleo: Life is a cookie.
Little Boy Blue: What kind of cookie?
Madame Cleo: Chocolate chip.
Little Boy Blue: Why chocolate chip?
Madame Cleo: Because chocolate chip tastes yummy in everyone's tummy.
Little Boy Blue: I'm allergic to chocolate.
Madame Cleo: Oh. I guess your life isn’t a chocolate chip cookie then.
Little Boy Blue: No.
Madame Cleo: Oatmeal raisin?
Little Boy Blue: Gross.
Madame Cleo: Sugar Pea-can?
Little
Boy Blue: What are pea-cans?
Madame Cleo: Little tiny nuts.
Little Boy Blue: You're nuts.
Madame Cleo: No, little puppet, only one person is truly nuts.
Little Boy Blue: Who?
Madame Cleo: The head of the Italian Mafia.
Little Boy Blue: What does the head of the Italian Mafia have to do with this?
Madame Cleo: He's lactose-intolerant.
Little Boy Blue: So?
Madame Cleo: So, you can't eat cookies without milk. That means, he can't eat cookies. His life can't be a cookie.
Little Boy Blue: What is his life?
Madame Cleo: A banana.
Little Boy Blue: A banana?!
Madame Cleo: Yes, a banana.
Little Boy Blue: Why a banana?!
Madame Cleo: Because if I would have said an apple, you would have asked if it had worms.
Little Boy Blue: You're some psychic.
Madame Cleo: Thank you.
Little Boy Blue: I was being sarcastic.
Madame Cleo: I know. I know all.
Little Boy Blue: So, what is in my future?
Madame Cleo: A headache and a stomach pumping.
Little Boy Blue: What?!
Madame Cleo: Yes, a headache and a stomach pumping.
Little Boy Blue: Why would I have my stomach pumped?
Madame Cleo: You swallow a cookie.
Little Boy Blue: I swallow my life?
Madame Cleo: You must have a big mouth.
Little Boy Blue: I wasted my money in calling you.
Madame Cleo: You wasted your cookie too.
Little Boy Blue: I want my money back.
Madame Cleo: Next thing, you are going to say you want your cookie back too.
Little Boy Blue: As a matter of fact, I do!
Madame Cleo: Too bad, the elephant ate it.
Little Boy Blue: What elephant?!
Madame Cleo: The one I hired as a bodyguard.
Little Boy Blue: Huh. Does he do a good job?
Madame Cleo: As long as I give him cookies.
Little Boy Blue: Can I have another cookie?
Madame Cleo: Give me more money.
Little Boy Blue: I don't have any more. I'm a simple goat-herder in Scotland. How much money do you expect me to have?
Madame Cleo: Enough to keep me talking.
Little Boy Blue: 50 cents?
Madame Cleo: It works for me. What kind of cookie would you like then?
Little Boy Blue: M&M.
Madame Cleo: Oo, sorry. Fresh out.
Little Boy Blue: How can you be fresh out of M&M cookies?!
Madame Cleo: The elephant ate them.
Little Boy Blue: So, give me a banana then. I can be like the head of the Mafia.
Madame Cleo: Which Mafia? Only the Italian Mafia has a banana life. The head of the Russian Mafia is actually a pizza roll.
Little Boy Blue: He's lactose-intolerant too?
Madame Cleo: No, he just hates Subway.
Little Boy Blue: You get all the cookies from Subway?!
Madame Cleo: Mhmm. Eat fresh.
Little Boy Blue: Why can't I just go to Subway to get a cookie?!
Madame Cleo: Because you want to keep an old Jamaican lady in business and--[click] Blue? Bluie?