Site hosted by Angelfire.com: Build your free website today!
Pyrowhere




Chester the Garden Gnome






Normal people might be wondering now why I would have a page on my site on which a picture of a garden gnome is placed. Any person who is not normal would be nodding their heads, muttering, “I can see what she sees in him.”

You see, Chester is my garden gnome, a present from my friend Jennifer. He was given to my over a year ago, and in our humor, we began to say that Chester was indeed my sex slave.

While it was a source of much laughter for many weeks, Chester and I began to both feel the tugs of love on our heartstrings. I asked myself who was I to deny the connection Chester and I so obviously had? I realized that I did love Chester—very much!

This is a page for that special gnome in my heart, and all the quotes we have said about that sexy little statue.





Random Chester Quotes


Brent: Handle with care. Sexy gnomes on board.


~*~



Laura: Man, I think everyone I talk to thinks im insane.

Laura: Hah, they are like, its called a mental institution

Sam: Ha, and you are telling me that?

Sam: I have a garden gnome named Chester!

Laura: Lol, I have a penguin in my room named Walter, I like to molest him at night.

Sam: OMG! LIKE ME AND CHESTER!







Chester’s Return


It was difficult bringing Chester back and forth to school, so I left him at home for many weeks. On October 13, 2003, he returned. Here are some quotes:


Jenn: The gnome is back.

Brent: Really?

Jenn: The gnome—has—arrived.


~*~



Everyone: Sam, put the gnome a-way.


~*~



Me: I know we said some more funny stuff this morning.

Jenn: Sam, you were too busy with the gnome on your head to care.


~*~



Me: Hot damn, that gnome is sexy.


~*~



Leanne: You can’t do that with gnomes! It’s not normal.


~*~



Brandy: Don’t play with the gnome’s tools.


~*~



Sam: “To be or not to be? That is the question.” Well, that and “Who will get to screw the gnome first?”

Jenn: I think Brent already handled that.


~*~






Ode to a Garden Gnome

(By Aithne Veradine)


How bright thy crimson cap gleams on your head of white locks.

Red against the snow blankets of early December.

They chisel in thy course hand,

Rough from the work of a miner.

The rapping of thy hammer against the stone of time

Beats in my heart in memory of thy grace.

The rose of thy cheeks burns in my

Memory with the fire and passion of the sun.




How I hope in your woodland paradise, you have

Found the happiness you lacked in my garden.

But in my misery, know that I shall

Never forget that diminutive stature and

Thy love that you so gave me.

You are the creature of the forest and garden

That shall ever keep my heart.