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Topic:
The Threat Crow
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McNerf-Burger
Registered: Nov 00
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Date Posted:
8/9/02 8:52pm
Subject: The Threat Crow
- Date Edited: 8/9/02 9:18pm (5 edits total)
Edited By:
McNerf-Burger
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Read this Yahoo News Story.
News
This story speaks of a crow that has displayed abnormal levels of intelligence. This winged beast is called Betty by the diabolical scientists who work with her in their lab, but I have decided to rename it "The Threat Crow. The Threat Crow has on several occassions bent a straight piece of wire into the shape of a hook, and used this hook to pick up food. The Threat Crow not only has the ability to use tools, but create them. Thus the reasoning behind its name becomes disturbingly obvious. To me anyway. Apparently nobody else has considered the horrifying possibilities of this development. Apparently nobody else has considered the possibility that the continuation of mans domination of this planet is in jeopardy.
Since The Threat Crow can make a hook to pick up food, is it unreasonable to assume it can make a hook, to say....................... gouge out a human's eye!?!??!?!?!?! Nay, it is not. If The Threat Crow somehow manages to become released, it may be able to train other crows the methods of tool use. It is reasonable that other crows contain the mental potential to master tool use, just as The Threat Crow has. Can you imagine what it would be like if hundreds, perhaps thousands of tool wielding intelligent hostile crows can accomplish? I have, and it's not pretty.
In the near future, the threat posed by The Threat Crow may not be all so dangerous. Small assaults upon people perhaps! Gougery of eyes. Yet, given centuries to evolve with tool making knowledge, it is reasonable to assume they will develop more advanced tools, just like people did so long ago. It will be then that humanity is faced with the true challene. It shall be war!
We must discuss The Threat Crow. I am afraid of it. And so should you.
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Vaderbait
Registered: Sep 01
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Date Posted:
8/9/02 9:00pm
Subject: RE: The Threat Crow
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Indeed!
-----signature-----
Let's go Red Wings!
Re-elect George W. Bush 2004
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Rogue1-and-a-half
Title: Moderator Emeritus
Registered: Nov 00
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Date Posted:
8/9/02 9:04pm
Subject: RE: The Threat Crow
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Yoicks! I'm guessing that this thing would have no trouble picking the lock on it's cage! [face_shocked]
Flee! Flee!
-----signature-----
Could it be that she was the sister of the boy in Kansas who loved the girl with the tattered shawl who was the daughter of the maid who had escaped from the pirates?
The intern frowned . . .
--Snoopy
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Aragorn327
Registered: Aug 01
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Date Posted:
8/9/02 9:05pm
Subject: RE: The Threat Crow
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Now I know what to clone and train into my private army!
Aragorn's Bizarre World Conquering Force:
1) Penguins
2) Robots
3) Wombats
4) Mooses
5) Threat Crows
-----signature-----
"Question not the ways of the script, there's always a bigger fish"
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Frank_Palpatine
Title:
• TFN Video Encoder
• JC Icon Artist
Registered: Mar 02
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Date Posted:
8/9/02 9:08pm
Subject: RE: The Threat Crow
- Date Edited: 8/9/02 9:09pm (1 edits total)
Edited By:
Frank_Palpatine
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Betty aka The Threat Crow, must not live to pass along her knowledge.
I'm assembling a strike team to infiltrate Oxford and take her out for the good of humanity as I type.
-----signature-----
"I must be Frank, your majesty..." -- Frank Palpatine, in TPM 
My JC Icons: http://webpages.charter.net/frank_palpatine/icons.htm
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AmazingB
Title: Manager Emeritus
Registered: Jan 01
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Date Posted:
8/10/02 7:25am
Subject: RE: The Threat Crow
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"Small assaults upon people perhaps! Gougery of eyes."
I live in constant fear of having my eyes gouged. Clearly, another force capable of doing so only increases the chances of this happening. The Threat Crow must be stopped! Perhaps it's time we set up a strike force of Hollywood actors, led by Bruce Willis.
Amazing.
-----signature-----
Green Apples~!
Posting without the express written consent of Major League Baseball.
We all go home or no one goes home!
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citizen-tom
Registered: May 02
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Date Posted:
8/10/02 7:59am
Subject: RE: The Threat Crow
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I think we must assemble all civilized nations of the world in a defense force against these evil birds!
-----signature-----
BACK AT THE JC, BUT I'VE CHANGED MY USERNAME TO AESOP.
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eclipseSD
Registered: May 02
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Date Posted:
8/10/02 8:08am
Subject: RE: The Threat Crow
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Anyone ever see Omen II?
Well, whenever Satan was going to kill someone, a crow would fly around the person and then......WHAM sudden death.
Not the best movie in the world but I was really freaked out.
So...DOWN WITH THE CROWS!
-----signature-----
Behold, a virgin shall conceive, and bear a son, and shall call his name Emmanuel.
"God with us"
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Emperor_Billy_Bob
Registered: Aug 00
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Date Posted:
8/10/02 8:50am
Subject: RE: The Threat Crow
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LOL! Funniest thing I have read today!
Planet of the Crows!
-----signature-----
Old Posters never really die, they just fade away.
The next person who says THE DUEL "will not be a Gentleman's duel" will be summarily executed.
Just because you can argue better doesn't mean you are right! - Lianna
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Radiohead
Registered: Mar 02
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Date Posted:
8/10/02 9:06am
Subject: RE: The Threat Crow
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Truly disturbing.
I'm sure this will lead to one thing, and one thing only: the fall of human civilization and an establishment of... a PLANET OF THE THREAT CROWS!
-----signature-----
"I have to admit it's getting better. It's getting better all the time." - The Beatles
"For a minute there, I lost myself..." - Radiohead
http://www.xanga.com/home.asp?user=astamate
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nashira
Title: Manager:JCCIcons
Registered: Jun 02
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Date Posted:
8/10/02 9:11am
Subject: RE: The Threat Crow
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dang, that's a really smart crow.
-----signature-----
¤ Dark Lady of the JCC ¤ Master to Qui-Gina-Jinn
Icon possibilities: http://home.earthlink.net/~nashira_327/icon%20possibilities/possibilities.html
"They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we"-Dubya
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Darth_Reaper
Registered: Jun 02
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Date Posted:
8/10/02 9:12am
Subject: RE: The Threat Crow
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that is pretty scary 
you have to also realize that ravens are even smarter than crows
so if a crow can make a tool using a length of wire, then what could a raven possibly manage to think up?
//shudders 
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McNerf-Burger
Registered: Nov 00
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Date Posted:
8/10/02 5:07pm
Subject: RE: The Threat Crow
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The Threat Crow must be...destroyed. It is the only way.
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Aragorn327
Registered: Aug 01
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Date Posted:
8/10/02 5:16pm
Subject: RE: The Threat Crow
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no, I must ensare it to use in my evil plotting, bwa, ha ha ha, ha.....ha.......ha.....................................................................................
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.ha.
-----signature-----
"Question not the ways of the script, there's always a bigger fish"
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nashira
Title: Manager:JCCIcons
Registered: Jun 02
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Date Posted:
8/10/02 5:17pm
Subject: RE: The Threat Crow
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Once I was watching animal planet, and they had this story about a heron. This heron saw that when people threw bread crumbs in the water, the fish would feed on it. So the heron actually took bread, flew a little ways away with it, and then used it as bait. It dropped it on the water, and then caught the fish that came after it.
oh yes, I think we have much to fear from birds.
-----signature-----
¤ Dark Lady of the JCC ¤ Master to Qui-Gina-Jinn
Icon possibilities: http://home.earthlink.net/~nashira_327/icon%20possibilities/possibilities.html
"They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we"-Dubya
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McNerf-Burger
Registered: Nov 00
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Date Posted:
8/10/02 5:38pm
Subject: RE: The Threat Crow
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The Threat Crow is an entity of pure evil! If we do not destroy it, then we seal our own doom.
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AmazingB
Title: Manager Emeritus
Registered: Jan 01
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Date Posted:
8/10/02 6:28pm
Subject: RE: The Threat Crow
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Clearly baking 4 and 20 blackbirds in a pie has angered other members of bird-dom. So here's what we do. Everyone go out and buy some protective goggles. That way, their hooks will be useless against us. And do not accept bread from strange birds! I can't stress these things enough, people!
Amazing.
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Green Apples~!
Posting without the express written consent of Major League Baseball.
We all go home or no one goes home!
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Radiohead
Registered: Mar 02
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Date Posted:
8/11/02 1:54am
Subject: RE: The Threat Crow
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AGGHH! MY EYES! THE GOGGLES DO NOTHING!
-----signature-----
"I have to admit it's getting better. It's getting better all the time." - The Beatles
"For a minute there, I lost myself..." - Radiohead
http://www.xanga.com/home.asp?user=astamate
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McNerf-Burger
Registered: Nov 00
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Date Posted:
8/12/02 3:44pm
Subject: RE: The Threat Crow
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Even with protective eye armor, they can still use their hooks of doom to drop items upon us from the skies.
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AmazingB
Title: Manager Emeritus
Registered: Jan 01
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Date Posted:
8/12/02 3:46pm
Subject: RE: The Threat Crow
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So we wear helmets, too. This isn't rocket science. It's war with evil crows.
Amazing.
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Green Apples~!
Posting without the express written consent of Major League Baseball.
We all go home or no one goes home!
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sacul-1138
Registered: Nov 00
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Date Posted:
8/12/02 3:48pm
Subject: RE: The Threat Crow
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Oh no they discovered my secret army of Crows...so soon. this isn't good at all.
Move to plan B: Free Mogwai for eveyone!!..make sure you feed them after midnight, and then give them a bath.
Enjoy.
-----signature-----
Odds of posting something that makes sense: 3,720 to 1
"Slippery when Schizophrenic"
Listen to KDVS 90.3fm For my show
"The Sessions" (see Bio for details)
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McNerf-Burger
Registered: Nov 00
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Date Posted:
8/12/02 3:49pm
Subject: RE: The Threat Crow
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It may not be rockey science yet AmazingB, but it will be, if The Threat Crows are allowed to thrive, for they shall soon develop the technology to deploy weapons of mild destruction against us!
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AmazingB
Title: Manager Emeritus
Registered: Jan 01
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Date Posted:
8/12/02 3:52pm
Subject: RE: The Threat Crow
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And that's precisely why we have to stop them. But you seem more concerned with debating semantics than taking the fight to the crows.
Amazing.
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Green Apples~!
Posting without the express written consent of Major League Baseball.
We all go home or no one goes home!
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McNerf-Burger
Registered: Nov 00
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Date Posted:
8/12/02 3:53pm
Subject: RE: The Threat Crow
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AmazingB is a spy.
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AmazingB
Title: Manager Emeritus
Registered: Jan 01
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Date Posted:
8/12/02 3:55pm
Subject: RE: The Threat Crow
- Date Edited: 8/12/02 3:55pm (1 edits total)
Edited By:
AmazingB
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I seem to be the only one interested in stopping the crows. Perhaps it is you who is the spy!
Amazing.
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Green Apples~!
Posting without the express written consent of Major League Baseball.
We all go home or no one goes home!
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Darth_Reaper
Registered: Jun 02
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Date Posted:
8/12/02 4:01pm
Subject: RE: The Threat Crow
- Date Edited: 8/12/02 4:02pm (1 edits total)
Edited By:
Darth_Reaper
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we must act now
NUKE TEH CROWS!!!
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