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Topic:
How Jupiter can be used for primate cloning facilities.
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FateNaberrie
Registered: Jan 00
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Date Posted:
5/29/02 6:32pm
Subject: How Jupiter can be used for primate cloning facilities.
- Date Edited: 5/3/03 8:22am (1 edits total)
Edited By:
AmazingB
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Face it. The demand for Primate clones is too high for the rate at which we're able to produce them in our earthly cloning facilities. Endangered species like the Fejorf Primates of the Maiden Islands in the Atlantic have never looked so grimly close to extinction. That's why we must look skyward for our solutions.
Jupiter is perfect. Because It's a gas giant, we could hold our laboratories in suspended "floating" circumstances which will speed up and encourage the initial fertilization of the embryos.
Furthermore, it's the fourth brightest object in the night sky. Clearly the Sun, Moon,and Venus are all too bright, but on Jupiter we would have no need for sunglasses, nor for artificial lights.
Finally, the gravitational effects of Jupiter's four largest moons combined with those of smaller satellites are perfect in aiding the rapid growth of our Primate Clones.
Support this cause if you care about the welfare of our Primate friends!
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Shipping DomKeira since 1873
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Darth_AYBABTU
Registered: Mar 01
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Date Posted:
5/29/02 6:34pm
Subject: RE: How Jupiter can be used for primate cloning facilities.
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I'm interesting in learning more about this. Can you please send me some literature?
AYBABTU™
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Malazaf
Registered: Apr 02
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Date Posted:
5/29/02 6:36pm
Subject: RE: How Jupiter can be used for primate cloning facilities.
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1: They havent calibrated the mirrors on the moon to 1 nanometer yet, silly. Its only 1/20 of an inch so far.
2) The moon has a liquid center
3) HELIUM3!!!!! OMG
! Helium3 can be used to created FUSION... ONE spaceship load from the moon could power the US for a year. (thats about 7.01 trillion mwh) Its not found on earth.
Its found on saturn, too, in large quantities.
4) Jupiter smupiter, galieleo was excommunication for being infatuated with that planet.
5) IT HAS AN 8 HOUR DAY! that means like, no sleep.
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Te aurdire no possum.Musa sapienum fixa est in aura.
ALL ROVE LOVE U LONG TIME!!!1
I wanna go to sugercandy mountain!!!!!1
14th Century ways are the best ways.
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FateNaberrie
Registered: Jan 00
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Date Posted:
5/29/02 6:36pm
Subject: RE: How Jupiter can be used for primate cloning facilities.
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The official Primate Cloning Society, being based on the Maiden Islands with very little contact to the outside world can only be reached on it's toll free number right now.
1-800-MAKE APES
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Shipping DomKeira since 1873
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MaidenLumpé
Title: Manager Emeritus
Registered: Feb 00
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Date Posted:
5/29/02 6:36pm
Subject: RE: How Jupiter can be used for primate cloning facilities.
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while this is all good and true, we first need to discuss the remifications of cloning such intelligent a species as the fejorf. i mean, as obi-wan once said "if droids could think, then there wouldn't be any of us, would there." and theory has it that the fejorf can think... a dangerous prospect indeed if we have them running all around jupiter.
before we begin cloning, we need to decide if that's the smartest thing to do.
and shouldn't this be in the senate?
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people who have sigs are dorks.
d'oh!
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McNerf-Burger
Registered: Nov 00
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Date Posted:
5/29/02 6:37pm
Subject: RE: How Jupiter can be used for primate cloning facilities.
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Most interesting, if not obvious. Scientists have been proposing since the Space Development Conress of 1976 that the moon could be used as a base for the cloning of colobus monkey's. Primates on Jupiter is the next logical step, the moon is not practical.
Besides this, a trained Primate Space Force will be the first wave in our defense should an alien race invade our solar system.
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FateNaberrie
Registered: Jan 00
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Date Posted:
5/29/02 6:38pm
Subject: RE: How Jupiter can be used for primate cloning facilities.
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IT HAS AN 8 HOUR DAY! that means like, no sleep.
The 8 hour day is actually a positive aspect. For every one 24 hour day on Earth, there are three 8 hour days on Jupiter. Therefore the work could be done in one third the time.
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Shipping DomKeira since 1873
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MaidenLumpé
Title: Manager Emeritus
Registered: Feb 00
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Date Posted:
5/29/02 6:40pm
Subject: RE: How Jupiter can be used for primate cloning facilities.
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but nerf- do we really want to give MONKEY's the know-how and ability to defend the planet. how do we know they won't turn and try to destroy us?
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people who have sigs are dorks.
d'oh!
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FateNaberrie
Registered: Jan 00
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Date Posted:
5/29/02 6:41pm
Subject: RE: How Jupiter can be used for primate cloning facilities.
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You are such a racist Lumpé
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Shipping DomKeira since 1873
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VadersLaMent
Registered: Apr 02
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Date Posted:
5/29/02 6:41pm
Subject: RE: How Jupiter can be used for primate cloning facilities.
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Helium-3 is worth 7.4 million dollars......PER POUND. Oh my, oh my.
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Any sufficiently advanced technology
is indistinguishable from magic.
--Arthur C. Clarke
Any sufficiently advanced extraterrestrial intelligence
is indistinguishable from God.--Michael Shermer
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JediJeffro
Registered: Jun 01
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Date Posted:
5/29/02 6:42pm
Subject: RE: How Jupiter can be used for primate cloning facilities.
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Actually, she's more of a speciest.
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Green Apples~!
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McNerf-Burger
Registered: Nov 00
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Date Posted:
5/29/02 6:42pm
Subject: RE: How Jupiter can be used for primate cloning facilities.
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Of course, we must find away to prevent the events prophecized in Planet of The Apes. In another thread, many months ago, I spoke of this. Clearly, since these particular clones are manufactures, we can install some sort of "destruct mode" into their genetic code.
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Malazaf
Registered: Apr 02
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Date Posted:
5/29/02 6:42pm
Subject: RE: How Jupiter can be used for primate cloning facilities.
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Note than one could only work for an approximate maximum of 4 days, assuming that one works an 8 hour day, because, well, they have to run on earth time since thats where they are from.
It means they get no sleep, circadian rhythms (for humans) are destroyed, they pass out, and die.
Also: The gravity would kill them, atmosphere would, the acids in the atmosphere would eat away at the craft, as would the pressure, etc, etc.
-----signature-----
Te aurdire no possum.Musa sapienum fixa est in aura.
ALL ROVE LOVE U LONG TIME!!!1
I wanna go to sugercandy mountain!!!!!1
14th Century ways are the best ways.
×ÖDiaeresisesÖ×
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MaidenLumpé
Title: Manager Emeritus
Registered: Feb 00
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Date Posted:
5/29/02 6:43pm
Subject: RE: How Jupiter can be used for primate cloning facilities.
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hello, fate... did you NOT watch planet of the apes? that documentary was SCARY!
you need to watch it... you and your ape-cloning ideas will be the end of the planet, let me tell you 
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d'oh!
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goldbubbly
Registered: Jan 02
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Date Posted:
5/29/02 6:46pm
Subject: RE: How Jupiter can be used for primate cloning facilities.
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Planet of the Apes made me cry.
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slaveone_2
Registered: Jul 01
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Date Posted:
5/29/02 6:50pm
Subject: RE: How Jupiter can be used for primate cloning facilities.
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"In the future it will no longer us who spanks the money, it will the monkey who spanks us"
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In the name of the punisher, I will moon you!
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Piltdown
Registered: May 02
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Date Posted:
5/29/02 6:54pm
Subject: RE: How Jupiter can be used for primate cloning facilities.
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This is unbelievably funny!
FateNaberrie, very well done on introducing such a deep question to the members of JC.
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obi-wannabe1
Registered: Jun 01
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Date Posted:
5/29/02 7:48pm
Subject: RE: How Jupiter can be used for primate cloning facilities.
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planet of the apes made you cry? aww  ... the original or the new one? (i have both on DVD)
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Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?
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AmazingB
Title: Manager Emeritus
Registered: Jan 01
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Date Posted:
5/29/02 9:18pm
Subject: RE: How Jupiter can be used for primate cloning facilities.
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I fear that Jupiter may be too obvious a choice. What if the whale cloning people find out about it and try to take it out? That would be horrendous. No, I suggest we use Saturn, as the rings will offer more protection.
Amazing.
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Fluke_Groundwalker
Registered: Aug 01
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Date Posted:
5/29/02 9:29pm
Subject: RE: How Jupiter can be used for primate cloning facilities.
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Nay, Amazing, that is where you are mistaken. The Klondike Guerillas of Saturn want you to think that, only so you go to Saturn, and then they use your hide for jumpropes.
Jupiter is the obvious choice.
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Look who's back, baby!
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FateNaberrie
Registered: Jan 00
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Date Posted:
5/29/02 10:20pm
Subject: RE: How Jupiter can be used for primate cloning facilities.
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Jupiter has rings too, dude.
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Shipping DomKeira since 1873
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MaidenLumpé
Title: Manager Emeritus
Registered: Feb 00
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Date Posted:
5/30/02 1:19am
Subject: RE: How Jupiter can be used for primate cloning facilities.
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the real place to do it would be the asteroid belt. it would be much harder to track down.
i still say you guys haven't thought this through though....
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d'oh!
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Endermunkee
Registered: Aug 00
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Date Posted:
5/30/02 1:38am
Subject: RE: How Jupiter can be used for primate cloning facilities.
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I volunteer to be the original from which you clone your primates.
All I request is an unadulterated clone of myself, to love, and pet, and squeeze until it's all mine.
And a jetpack. Please.
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The Very Secret Diary of Legolas, Son of Weenus
Day 35, continued:
Frodo off to Mordor with Sam.
Tiny little men caring about
each other, rather cute really.
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Ben Kenobi
Registered: Mar 00
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Date Posted:
5/30/02 1:49am
Subject: RE: How Jupiter can be used for primate cloning facilities.
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This concept has definite possibilities. Keep me updated on developments.
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Oderint dum metuant.
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FateNaberrie
Registered: Jan 00
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Date Posted:
5/30/02 8:10am
Subject: RE: How Jupiter can be used for primate cloning facilities.
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But will your unadulterated clone be an exact cross between a 9 year old Anakin Skywalker and Ric Olie? With the fakest fake laugh ever?
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Jett-Rev
Registered: Feb 02
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Date Posted:
5/30/02 8:33am
Subject: RE: How Jupiter can be used for primate cloning facilities.
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Strangest.Topic.Today 
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