Artesania stared at the screen. Her hunched posture and stiffened hands
didn’t move, even as the computer fell asleep and the black ants of words
disappeared. Not that it made much of a
difference to her—her contacts having dried up many a minute ago. But slowly—oh-so-slowly, so that one might
dare to consider that her chair was tipping her weight off—she began to tilt
slowly—yes, children, slowly—towards the floor.
The rest of her progression towards the floor was not so slow. As she hit the floor, a good many things
happened—first, she blinked at the ominous thud of her body hitting its fated
destination, then the computer woke up, startled, then
she noticed that there was a conversation box open on the screen. She scrambled to her knees, struggled to the
chair, and squinted at the colored words.
“Uh…” She squinted some more, pressed her nose to
the screen, and read it aloud. “‘Artesania, stop it. Now. Don’t read any
further.’” Artesania
blinked, shrugged, and moved the mouse to close the box. “NO, you silly fool!!” The box screamed at her, cyber-spit
flying. “Not what I’m
saying, the FIC!!” The box
breathed in slowly, mentally counting to Pi.
“Okay, listen to me—move your mouse to the box that will close the
internet screen containing that…filth.”
The befuddled girl complied. “Now
close it.” And the filth
disappeared.
“Say
something, dear.”
Artesania sat back on her swively
chair (nifty things, those) and typed in with her toes—“Hi.”
“Good,
good. Now stay put—I’m going to come
over. You’re in no state to be
alone. You might hurt yourself or…right,
I’ll be over in a little.”
The
box flashed a message: “CakeIsYummy13 has signed off”
Artesania suddenly sat up. “Oh, hi Medea!” she
said eagerly to the screen. It made a
face at her. “Maybe I really shouldn’t
be up now…”
The
door opened and she turned her chair carefully, for one never truly will know
the dangers of swiveling one’s chair around.
Medea stepped in the room, and smiled gently
at the green-haired, scarred, twenty-year-old toddler, who blinked at her and
grinned happily. The black-haired girl
winced. “Oh damn,” she muttered under
her breath. Artesania
twirled one strand of green around her finger and beamed more. “Hi Medea!”
Medea walked towards her and held her under her arms,
assisting her in the difficult task of standing up. The started to walk as Medea
asked her blatantly, “Where is it?” Artesania pointed towards the closet ahead of them. “Okay.”
They walked, or rather, stumbled in seconds after the door was opened. And then the lights turned on.
“Nice,
very nice,” Medea said, raising her eyebrows and
nodding approvingly. Artesania
pranced down the aisle, lined with blue lights, and sat in a velveteen
chair. The younger girl decided not to
ask how a toddler could learn to skip within such a short amount of time, and
instead followed her and flopped down into a chair next to her. “Oi,
Arty!” Both girls twisted around
to look at whoever it was calling them. The door opened and she turned her
chair carefully, for one never truly will know the dangers of swiveling one’s
chair around. Medea
stepped in the room, and smiled gently at the green-haired, scarred,
twenty-year-old toddler, who blinked at her and grinned happily. The black-haired girl winced. “Oh damn,” she muttered under her
breath. Artesania
twirled one strand of green around her finger and beamed more. “Hi Medea!”
Medea walked towards her and held her under her
arms, assisting her in the difficult task of standing up. The started to walk as Medea
asked her blatantly, “Where is it?” Artesania pointed towards the closet ahead of them. “Okay.”
They walked, or rather, stumbled in seconds after the door was
opened. And then the lights turned
on.
“Nice,
very nice,” Medea said, raising her eyebrows and
nodding approvingly. Artesania
pranced down the aisle, lined with blue lights, and sat in a velveteen
chair. The younger girl decided not to
ask how a toddler could learn to skip within such a short amount of time, and
instead followed her and flopped down into a chair next to her. “Oi,
Arty!” Both girls twisted around
to look at whoever it was calling them. Grenaldi bounced towards them, flinging her arms
around. Vena came in tow, looking
slightly disgruntled, followed, somewhat in
conversation with a girl wearing the same expression. The conversation was essentially:
Girl:
Is she always like that?
Vena:
Yes.
Girl:
Really? That sucks.
Vena:
Yes.
“Hiya Serenity, Vena!”
Vena brightened no more when she and Serenity reached the band of MSTers already seated, and instead glowered so that she
almost gave off a bit of black light.
Serenity smiled at everyone, then inched away from the powerful glower
and seated herself. Vena stumbled
into—or rather, towards—a seat as well, having missed the lights abruptly
shutting off. After a
few “Hey, gitawf!”s and “Watchit!!”s, she finally reached a seat, grumbling and rubbing
her thwacked shins. And there was a whir
of film turning, then silence. Hahaha, that’s amusing…silence…heh
heh heh…*laughs* *whap* Arright,
then the MST started.
Film:
Whirrr.
-----
Legolas and Lorie
-----
Vena: That’s already pure Mary Sue.
Grenaldi: Improvement—you made it three words without a
remark!
-----
-----
Artesania: That name gave me a
lot of trouble…
Vena: And that’s significant how?
-----
In
a soft chair,
-----
Medea: God forbid it be a hard chair.
Serenity:
Or a medium chair…
Grenaldi: The horror!
-----
in the corner of her room she cries.
-----
Artesania: *as tourguide*
Now, folks, this here is called the Pity Factor!
All:
Ooh, Ahh…
Serenity:
You mean an attempt at a Pity Factor?
Artesania: Yes, yes, exactly. Have a kudos bar.
-----
Her
long auburn hair
-----
Medea: *grumble* And there’s the hair…
-----
falls alongside her face streaked with tears,
-----
Vena:
Is she balding?
Grenaldi: And is her hair sticking to her face?
Vena:
Streaked with tears?
Artesania: Yes.
She is a bald Mary Sue.
Grenaldi: With her hair sticking to her face?
Artesania: Yes.
With her hair sticking to her face.
Vena:
Streaked with te—
Artesania: Will
you just shut up already?
-----
her eyes watering at
just the mere glance of the picture. Her emerald green eyes slowly move down to
the picture,
-----
Serenity:
Wait…how is it a “mere glance” if her eyes “slowly move down to the picture”?
Grenaldi: Well, she could have looked at it, then
wrenched her eyes upwards, then looked back down at it.
Serenity:
You’re busting my fun.
Artesania: *grim* There’s a lot more to come…
Serenity:
It was still phrased really badly.
Grenaldi: Arright, I agree
with you on that.
-----
tears falling onto it, splashing into wet lines.
-----
Grenaldi: Yay!! Squiggly lines!!
-----
The
picture is of the young woman and of a young
-----
Artesania: --woman and of a young woman and of a young
woman and of a—
Grenaldi: *brings out the duct tape*
Artesania: --Ooh!
*snatch*
-----
man, grasping her
-----
Grenaldi: *opens mouth*
Vena:
NO.
-----
hand in his. They seemed so happy at the time,
her face is filled with joy and happiness.
-----
Medea: Wait, isn’t she crying?
-----
But
now, her face is filled with sorrow and her cheeks streaming with tears.
-----
Medea: Ohhh…*makes a
face* Ew, that was…*shakes
head*
Artesania: So her cheeks have tear glands?
Grenaldi: Which chee—
Vena:
AGH!! Shut up!!
-----
He
had been her boyfriend for many years, love at first sight to many, but love
forever to her.
-----
All:
*silence*
*5
minutes later*
All:
Ohhhhhh…now I get it…
-----
Her hands touch his face,
-----
Vena:
*As Girl* This
is like Twister!
-----
moving slowly to the
-----
Grenaldi: *opens mouth*
Vena:
*Covering it* Shush.
-----
bottom of the picture, her other hand at the top.
She quickly tears the picture in half,
-----
Serenity:
*girl* HIIIIIIYAAH!! *tries to rip paper
in aforementioned pose*
Uh…er…um…this isn’t working…
-----
her rage over coming
all of her senses.
-----
Artesania: See,
this is one of those phrases that I was referring to in my review that said
that with some work on grammar, spelling, and phrasing, could actually be
good…but no, she turns it down. *sulk*
Medea: So?
Let her suffer the wrath of mocking.
Artesania: Good
point. Have a Kudos bar.
Medea: No thanks…where do you get those from,
anyways? *thinks* Never mind, then.
-----
Her
eyes fill with tears once more as she picks up a book called Lord of the Rings.
-----
Grenaldi: Just because Lord of the Rings is so
tragic, especially the cover…
Vena:
Notice how she doesn’t use underlining.
Grenaldi: Maybe she has trouble with underlining.
Vena:
Yes, forgive me for making fun of those who are underliningly
challenged.
-----
She
starts to read, as three men are pursuing through
-----
Artesania: But, mind you, not real sleep—just the
thought of it.
-----
Her
body lays limp
-----
Medea: Hey, is she dead? Great!
Let’s go party!
Vena:
I wish.
-----
in the comfy chair,
-----
Grenaldi: I want a comfy chair.
Vena:
Not this one.
Grenaldi: Well, naturally—it’s contaminated.
Vena:
Nuclear waste.
Grenaldi: Nuclear paste.
Vena:
*blink*
-----
her mind finally at rest.
-----
Serenity: Okay, this is definitely a dying scene.
-----
She wakes up from her deep sleep to the sound of rushing water, sitting
straight up, her every thought on being late for school.
-----
Artesania: Wow, she’s a very capable while asleep.
Medea: …Did the tense just change?
Artesania: *looks* Yeah…it did…*raises eyebrows* Ew.
-----
As
her eyes focus on the room, she realizes that this isn't her room, but a strange room open to the outdoors.
-----
Medea: STOP SAYING ROOM!!
Serenity:
No, she’s seeing how many times she can say “room” in a sentence.
-----
She
looks down at her clothes, but they aren't familiar, but of some light but
fairly warm material, pure white and bright to the eye.
-----
Serenity:
See, now she’s seeing how many times she can say “but” in a sentence.
Medea: *nodnod* Makes
sense, as much as a Mary Sue writer can make…
-----
She
gets out of the bed, the sheets so white and fresh.
-----
Artesania: Does this sound like a detergent or bleach
commercial to anyone else?
-----
She
walks to the open balcony made of a light, raw wood
-----
Vena:
Raw wood?
Grenaldi: Mary
Sues are completely resistant to splinters.
Vena:
That would explain everything.
Grenaldi: But
just for fun…
Grenaldi: *as girl* Owowowowowowowow
damn raw wood! It gave me splinters!!
Vena:
*sigh*
-----
at her right and is sure her eyes are deceiving her.
-----
Serenity: I really can’t stand this tense thing.
-----
A
rushing waterfall, bright green leaves, and air was so pure, her lungs stopped
expanding for a moment,
-----
Medea: --and instead imploded!!
-----
thinking she had died.
-----
Serenity:
What did I tell you guys about the dying thing??
-----
She
had never seen anything so beautiful all her life.
-----
Vena: *as Sue* Oh, wait, I’m beautifuler than
that!! Ha ha ha ha ha!
Artesania: *eyes Vena warily* You
okay, dear?
Vena:
Ha…ha…ha…heh…hooo…
Artesania: Aiight then.
-----
Hearing footsteps behind the door on her left, she sprints to her bed,
-----
Grenaldi: A little eager aren’t we, now?
Vena:
Why did I not see that coming?
-----
but not quick enough.
-----
Medea: For suddenly, a bunch of men holding
bazookas barged in, splintering the raw wood door and blasting her into a heap
of bloody Mary Sue! Muahaha!
Serenity:
*raises eyebrows* Wow.
-----
The
door swings open and three men walk through the door.
-----
Artesania: Woohoo, now time
for the bazookas!! Bring it on!!
Vena:
Wait…did all of them go through the doorway at once?
Artesania: *impressed* They
must be ultra-thin.
Vena:
You find that attractive in a guy?
Artesania: Don’t get sidetracked!! *whap* And yes. I do.
-----
She
freezes, her body as stiff as a board,
-----
Serenity:
And now the clichés…
-----
her hands are the only thing moving, shaking with fear.
-----
Artesania: *envisions her shaking her hands without
using her arms* *laughs*
Medea: Oi, what’s so
funny?
Artesania: Hahahaha...arms…no
arms…hands…heh heh heh special…hahaha…shaking…
Vena:
Ignore her. Happens a
lot.
Medea: Figures.
-----
She
stares at the first man, his long brown hair neatly knotted
-----
Serenity:
LOOK!! Do you see the tense change
WITHIN THE SENTENCE?!
Medea: Yes, now calm down…
Serenity:
*whimper* But look at it!! It’s
disgusting!!
Medea: Yes, but one cannot include the Mary Sue
writers in the category which supports using proper tense…
-----
with pointy ears barely visible beyond the locks.
-----
Grenaldi: *thoughtful* Hm…knotted
locks…
-----
"Pointy ears" she thought, "Why does this man have pointy
ears?"
-----
All: *silence* *burst
out laughing*
Vena:
*gasp* That’s classic…
-----
"I am Elrond, an elf and lord of Rivendell.
-----
Medea: So, why is he introducing himself as an elf? And are there multiple lords of Rivendell?
Serenity:
And why would he go out of his way to help a little Mary Sue?
Artesania: Perhaps her Compelling Beauty got him to Recognize that She was Indeed a Person of Great Beauty whom
he should Take the Time to Rescue from the Dark and
Serenity:
That’s…*shakes head*
Right then.
-----
These
two men found you
-----
Vena:
*as Elrond* --on the streets, selling your body. Do you have anything to say in your defense?
Grenaldi: *as Sue* I wasn’t selling my body—I was only
selling my cu—
Vena:
*panic* Agh!!
*whap*
-----
lying in the forest," he pointed to the two
men, each one different from the other.
-----
Medea: *gasp* Noo…you
mean they *weren’t* twins?!
-----
One
had straggly brown hair, a short goatee, with vibrant, deep eyes,
-----
Serenity:
How are ones eyes deep?
Medea: Only something that BadFic!Aragorn can posess…deep
eyes…perhaps he just has very deep-set eyes.
-----
and a calm yet protective mannerism about him.
-----
Artesania: *frown* I don’t like that.
Vena:
Why not?
Artesania: It’s just…annoying.
-----
But
the other took her breath away.
-----
All:
*sigh*
Grenaldi: Let me guess…could it possibly be…Legolas?
Vena:
Nooo, it couldn’t be Hott!Legolas…
Artesania: *as Legolas* HaHA!!! *snatches
breath* *smells
it* UGH!! *drops it*
-----
The
young looking man had the same pointy ears as this Elrond fellow,
-----
Artesania: *springs at screen* *somewhat*
Medea: *holding her back* Cut it out!!
Vena:
*also holding her back* Yeah, not like it really happened!!
Artesania: *growl* Let…me…at…her!!!
Vena:
Dear, sit down…you’ve spilled your Majik!Popcorn.
Artesania: Ooh!
Popcorn! *sits down* *glares at screen* *mumble* “This Elrond fellow” my ass…
-----
but had long blonde hair that flowed
-----
Artesania: *screaming* CLICHÉ!!
Medea: Stop stealing all the riffs!
Artesania: Oops, sorry.
-----
gently over his shoulders. Her eyes locked into his.
-----
Vena:
Ow.
-----
He
smiled at her gently,
-----
Medea: *as Legolas* *thinking* Poor dear, she must
be one of those retarded Men that’ve been around…
-----
and began to blush.
-----
*enter sound of retching*
-----
"This is Aragorn, son of Arathorn, and Legolas of the Woodland Realm, and they were kind enough to
bring you here, for they were very concerned about you.
-----
Vena:
Sentence long enough?
Grenaldi: No,
not at all.
Vena:
By the way…what were they doing there in the first place?
Artesania: *grins* Well—
Vena:
NO, not you TOO?!
-----
You
had strange clothing on, not our realm.
-----
Medea: *as Elrond* So
*naturally* we took it off of you and dressed you in your sleep. Never want to have those darned sketchy
clothes on our little Mary Sue guests!
-----
They
were very skeptic at first
-----
Artesania: *whimper* Skeptic is a noun…skeptical is the
adjective…
-----
but they thought for your well-being.
-----
Serenity:
*as Elrond* --since your well-being is very incapable of intelligent
thought. Not that that’s very different
from your own self.
-----
I
healed your wounds
-----
Grenaldi: Why would Elrond bother to heal this girl’s
wounds??
Vena:
She must be very speshul.
-----
and gave you new clothing
-----
Medea:
*turning white*
I was kidding about the changing clothes thing, you know!
-----
and a safe place to rest.
-----
Serenity:
*as Elrond* I’m sure you’ll find hell a very comfortably warm place for your
kind.
-----
I
will leave you be now, unless you have anything to ask of me?"
-----
*Artesania and Grenaldi exchange “looks”*
Vena:
Aw come ON, guys!!
Artesania: Please?
Vena:
Fine. Just once.
Artesania: Yay!
Grenaldi: *as Sue* Well, legend has it that you’re
quite…endowed. Could I have a peek?
Artesania: *as Sue* And a test drive?
Vena:
OKAY, that was too much.
Artesania and Grenaldi:
*grin*
-----
"Actually I have quite a bit to ask you, like where am I? I'm really
confused at this moment"
-----
Medea: Like maybe like she would like like to have like Elrond like show her like a fricking map like.
Vena:
She really didn’t mean it like that…
Medea: So?
It’s still fun.
Vena:
Agreed, most definitely.
-----
she inquired.
-----
Grenaldi: Oh, suddenly our BadFic
writer gets all fancy scmancy on us.
Artesania: Oh Eru forbid she
uses words longer than two syllables!
-----
"You are in Rivendell,
-----
Serenity:
Hey…she spelled it right…
All:
*shock*
Medea: That’s such a Mary Sue trademark! Shocking.
-----
west of the
-----
Artesania: Another phrase, minus the random stuff
about the Mountains. Although
that might be a good thing if used in the right way…
Medea: What are you talking about?
Artesania: *wistful* Another
phrase that could have hit great heights…but no! Too proud to listen to my
pearls of wisdom.
Medea: *sigh*
-----
"Oh my god!
-----
Vena:
*As ElfFundie!Elrond*
AHIEEE! How dare you speak the name of a
deity that is not Eru!! *beats Mary Sue to death*
Grenaldi: That was pointless!
Vena:
So? I still got to beat the Mary Sue to
death.
-----
I
understood only one part of that, and that was Middle Earth.
-----
Serenity:
Just because everyone talks like that.
-----
That
was in the book I was reading! You have to be joking, right?" she asked,
feeling her-self
------
All:
AHIEEEEEEE!!!!!
-----
go faint.
-----
Medea: Crap.
Artesania: This is hurting my inner feminist.
-----
"Indeed you are in Middle Earth, young one, and
-----
Artesania: *as Elrond* --I drink camel blood for
breakfast.
-----
I
only speak of the truth." replied Elrond.
"I..feel..very
tired." she mumbled, her body falling limply to the ground.
-----
Artesania: My inner feminist is upset and hurting.
-----
Legolas darted to her side, not knowing the woman,
but still concerned for her health.
-----
Vena:
Great, now Legolas finds her to be deserving of his
help. *pout*
Artesania: *numb* My inner
feminist just died.
-----
He
un-strapped his bow and quiver from his back, and
-----
Serenity:
SHOT HER!!
*cheering*
-----
sat next to her on the ground, placing her head on his lap.
He noticed her hair,
-----
Grenaldi: *as Legolas* My, what little hair you have!
Vena:
*as Sue* All the better to stick my existing hair to
my face when I cry, my dear.
-----
beautiful and soft, falling gently on his
-----
Grenaldi: ba—
Vena:
Shut up.
-----
leg.
"I will stay here with her and watch her, if I may, Elrond?" asked Legolas.
-----
Artesania: *mumble* Voyeur…
Grenaldi: *blink* But there’s no one here for her to
have sex with!
Artesania: *shrug* BadFic!Legolas is still a voyeur.
-----
"Legolas, you need not stay here,
I will call one of the maidens to help her."
-----
Serenity: Does this sound like an Islamic Paradise to anyone else?
Artesania: Now we’re just waiting for the milk and
honey…
-----
"I can linger here. We are not departing just yet. Am I correct
Aragorn?"
All:
*as Aragorn* No.
-----
"We were going to rest here for a fort night.
-----
Medea: *growl* If she’s going to use that language,
she should at least spell it right…
-----
Stay
here with the girl, but watch your back for we do not know her as well as we
know each other." replied Aragorn.
-----
Grenaldi: Only BadFic!Aragorn…
-----
Elrond and Aragorn left the room, leaving Legolas to
take care of the young woman. He first --only looked at the woman but became
inquisitive about her. He gently touched her
-----
All:
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-----
face, her lips, then her hair. He could not believe what he
was feeling,
-----
All:
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!
-----
for he never felt this way before.
-----
*retch*
-----
Her
emerald green eyes slowly opened,
-----
Vena:
What *is* it with that cliché?!
-----
and lingered up to his face.
-----
Serenity:
How does *that* work?
-----
She
looked into his eyes, and he looked into hers.
-----
Artesania: Seeing as it *is* impossible just to look
into someone’s eyes directly without them looking at you back.
-----
She
slowly and cautiously sat up,
-----
Vena:
Bleh.
-----
her knees against her chest.
-----
Medea: --which resulted in the explosion of her waterbra.
-----
He
studied her every move; the way she moved her arms so gracefully yet so full of
strength.
-----
Serenity:
Wow, someone could see my strength and grace in the way I move my arm to hug my
legs to myself?
Artesania: Apparantly.
-----
He
swiftly stood up,
-----
Medea: --and swiftly fell over.
-----
his hand reaching out to hers.
"Mortal creatures call me Legolas," he
said, gingerly helping her up.
-----
Grenaldi: *as Legolas* As for elves…they call me the pimp master.
-----
"Thank you and my name is Lorie," she replied, slowly standing to her
feet, then falling down once again.
-----
Vena: *eager* Did she break anything?
-----
"Then let me assist you, Lorie"
-----
Serenity: Since that’s just such a result of telling someone that her name is
Lorie.
Medea: Maybe it was in the way that she said “Thank
you”.
*Serenity
and Medea ponder*
-----
He bent over, and placed her carefully in his arms.
-----
Vena:
How does that work?
-----
He
strides slowly to her bedside, and halted near it.
-----
*Grenaldi and Artesania look
at each other*
Grenaldi: KINKY!!
Artesania: In a really bad way!!
Vena:
Did you guys notice the tense change at all?
-----
"You have such beautiful eyes.
-----
*Unanimous
“EWWWW”*
-----
I
have never seen a mortal woman with such eyes."
-----
Artesania: *as Legolas*
--and believe me, I’ve seen more than my share of mortal women.
-----
"Thank you again." she responds, her cheeks blushing a soft pink
-----
Medea: Then a dark pink…then red…then purple, as Legolas’s fingers, delicate but strong, slowly wrenched the
life out of the Sue…
-----
He placed her delicately on her bed, reaching out with his hand to touch her
cheek. "Lorie is such a divine name.
-----
Serenity:
*as Legolas* --and ohmigod,
where did you *ever* find that shirt?
Artesania: *as Sue* What
shirt?
Vena:
*Whap*
-----
I
have never encountered any creature such as yourself.
What lands do you hail from?"
-----
All:
HELL.
-----
" I am from
-----
Artesania: So how would she not know that if she knew
that she was in Rivendell? It’s not possible to have gotten that far in
the book without having read the mention of Legolas
the elf.
Vena:
You’ve gotten so much better at putting things nicely! What’s with the improvement?
Artesania: I’m ripping the seat apart.
-----
You
look like that Elrond fellow."
-----
*RIIIIIIIIIP*
-----
"I am a wood elf, from the
-----
Grenaldi: A wood elf, eh? *slow grin*
Vena:
*opens mouth*
Grenaldi: No. *grin*
-----
But
the name
-----
Artesania: *rip* EXISTS!! EXISTS!!! With an S!!!
-----
"Well I would hope not, unless I missed a day in Geography class."
"Geography class? What is that?"
"Well, a class is where students learn and Geography is the study of the
earth but my earth is nothing like Middle Earth."
-----
Medea: Well that was pointless and stupid.
Artesania: --and asinine.
-----
"Oh, you mean Middle Earth! You say you've never heard of it except in a
book. But how can your strange city be here?"
-----
Serenity: BadFic!Legolas is
stupid.
-----
"That's simple, I'm not from Middle Earth.
-----
All:
Duh.
-----
I'm
am
-----
Artesania: AHIEE!!
-----
from the planet Earth in the Milky Way galaxy. And yes I heard
of that name from a book. But the book is no matter to you. It would not
interest you."
"Oh, what is the Milky Way?"
-----
All: -_-;;;
-----
"I will tell you some other time, but now I must rest. My head is
pounding." "I will leave you be, but may I sit here beside you, for
this is, it seems, a whole new place for you. I have good sight and god
hearing, I will protect you Lorie."
-----
Medea: *growl*
Vena:
God hearing?
Grenaldi: No comma…
Artesania: *rip*
-----
"Thank you Legolas. You seem to be a very
kind gentle-elf, and a very nice one too."
-----
Grenaldi: WTF is a gentle-elf?!
-----
She lay down in the bed, gently drifting off into sleep, Legolas
at her side the entire time.
-----
Serenity:
It makes it sound like she’s in labor.
The last part, that is.
-----
He
watched her sleep,
-----
Medea: That’s somewhat creepy.
-----
the feeling inside growing at each turn of the moment.
-----
Artesania: Is it really *inside* him?
Vena:
ARTY?!
-----
He
then finally realized what he was feeling inside of him.
-----
All:
Uh-oh…
-----
The
one thing locked deep in his heart.
-----
Serenity:
Get ready…*hands out barf bags*
-----
He
loved her.
-----
*simultaneous
barf*
Medea: Well, that was evil.
Artesania: Wasn’t it?
Vena:
Luckily, that is that.
Grenaldi: Yup, we’re out of here.
Serenity:
Good!
*all
except Artesania try to stand*
*are
all held down*
Vena:
What the hell?
Serenity:
What??
Artesania: *glum* We can’t
leave.
Medea: What?!
Serenity:
Why didn’t you say so so that we didn’t have to make
fools of ourselves??
Artesania: Do you really think that I would give up my
only decent source of entertainment around here?
*All
except Artesania glower*
Artesania: More to come! Tune in in a couple
weeks for the next thrilling installment of—
BadFic!Legolas Goes All Sappy