Thoughts, humor, and idiosyncrasies on men and women.

When Men Finally Rule The World:
Any fake phone number a girl gave you would automatically forward your call
to her real number.
Nodding and looking at your watch would be deemed an acceptable response to
"I love you."
Hallmark would make "Sorry, what was your name again?" cards.
When your girlfriend really needed to talk to you during the game, she'd appear
in a little box in the corner of the screen during a time-out.
Breaking up would be a lot easier. A smack to the ass and a "Nice hustle,
you'll get 'em next time" would pretty much do it.
Birth control would come in ale or lager.
Each year, your raise would be pegged to the fortunes of the NFL team of your
choice.
The funniest guy in the office would get to be CEO.
"Sorry I'm late, but I got really wasted last night" would be an
acceptable excuse for tardiness.
At the end of the workday, a whistle would blow and you'd jump out your window
and slide down the tail of a brontosaurus and right into your car like Fred
Flintstone.
It'd be considered harmless fun to gather 30 friends, put on horned helmets,
and go pillage a nearby town.
Lifeguards could remove citizens from beaches for violating the "public
ugliness" ordinance.
Tanks would be far easier to rent.
Garbage would take itself out.
Instead of beer belly, you'd get "beer biceps."
Instead of an expensive engagement ring, you could present your wife-to-be
with a giant foam hand that said, "You're #1!"
Valentine's Day would be moved to February 29th so it would only occur in
leap years.
On Groundhog Day, if you saw your shadow, you'd get the day off to go drinking.
St. Patrick's Day, however, would remain exactly the same. But it would be
celebrated every month.
"Cops" would be broadcast live, and you could phone in advice to
the pursuing cops Or to the crooks.
Two words: Ally McNaked.
Regis and Kathie Lee would be chained to a cement mixer and pushed off the
Golden Gate Bridge for the most lucrative pay-per-view event in world history.
The only show opposite "Monday Night Football" would be "Monday
Night Football From A Different Camera Angle."
It would be perfectly legal to steal a sports car, as long as you returned
it the following day with a full tank of gas.
Every man would get four real "Get Out of Jail Free" cards per year.
Faucets would run "Hot," "Cold," and "100 proof."
Daisy Duke shorts would never again go out of style.
Telephones would automatically cut off after 30 seconds of conversation.
Reasons a women will argue with her man:
You say something to make her think too long, and she feels she has to get
back at you.
You say she's fat, and then all hell breaks loose.
You insult her friends.
Things are working out, and she can't have that.
You were out with your friends, like she does so many times, but with you,
you can't be out for more than an hour.
You didn't put the seat down. (What is that? Why doesn't the chick have to
put the seat up? Huh? Is it such an inconvenience to both genders to bend
over?)
You glanced at another woman.
You want to get some rest after work, not play entertainer to her.
For the good ol reason that she has PMS.
You gave her a compliment and she thinks you're lying to get some.
You take the compliment back to make her happy, but then she says "Oh,
so you were lying?!?"
The sun came up.
Reasons why women can win in an argument:
Breasts
They're even cuter when they argue.
A one-liner will put everything to rest.
If she cries, no guy can ever resist.
Regardless of what you did, 'the look' from her can make you think you're
wrong.
Women live longer, so it's better if it ends now.
The female voice is definitely more annoying, so you just want her to shut
up.
One mention of getting laid will stop anything.
Guys usually have something better to do.
Reasons why men can win in an argument:
He can kick your ass.
He's the one who pays for everything.
He's driving you home.
After you win, then what?
There was probably no point to this argument that SHE started anyway.
roses are red
violets are gold
why wear a bra
if there's nothing to hold!!!
if you didn't have hands
you wouldn't wear gloves right?
and if you didn't have feet
you wouldn't wear shoes right?
so why wear a bra?????
a ha ha ha ha ha (lmao)