The Legend of Ancestory
Prologue  

Listen well and revel in an ancient story of yore, in the land of Ursa Gaia, where the past and present collide in a world of decay and ressurection, a child is born with the kiss of Lady Luck upon his forehead.




Midget General: Midget Horde Charge! That woman must not escape with the lord's baby!
Midgets: HOOOOOOOOOO!
Girl: I must get my baby to the Reyes Dojo quickly before the midgets kill me!



Girl: I am so sorry to barge into the dojo at this time of the night Jorge.
Jorge: It's ok, my pinche grandson was snooping in the food again, we were both already up.
Girl: Just a few days ago I gave birth to my son... my husband wants to kill him and so I came here.



Jorge:I knew your father and your brother well, they were both brave men.  You are welcome to stay in my dojo.
Girl: Thank you.
Jorge: Set the basket down, let me look upon your nino.



Jorge: This little huevon, is far more destined for things that even I can see.  What is his name?
Girl: Michael.
Jorge: From here on in Little Michael and yourself will stay in the walls of my Dojo.

And so Master Jorge Reyes, the last of the Flame Guard, took Michael and his mother into his home.  During the years that Michael grew to be a young man his mother taught him how to hone his power.



Michael's Mom: You're such a good eater Michael, please finish while I go over today's test.
Michael: Ok.
Michael's Mom: Today's test, sweetie, is to take what I taught you yesterday and unlock this chest.



Michael: UNLOCK YOU PEICE OF SHIT!
Michael's Mom: Very good. However watch your mouth!
Michael: Yes mom. >_<

But Michael wasn't the only one training... for Jorge's grandson, Diego, was training to be just like his father and his grandfather; a Flame Guard. So that one day when Jorge was no longer here Diego will be strong enough to help the younger child fulfill both of their destinies.



Jorge: Ok boy, now that the ladies are done it's time for the real men to train.  Show me what you got.
Diego: Ok Grandpa!



Diego: Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
Jorge: Very good boy, an improvement from the last time, but watch the master at work!



Jorge: BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUTAAAAAAAAAAA!
Diego: Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

And that's how it went for many years, until one day Michael's mother was stricken by a mysterious sickness and died.



Jorge: Michael, we have buried your mother near the Reyes Memorial Tree.  Many other people of Reyes descent lie buried near this tree.  Such people include my wife and Diego's father, and so because your mother lies here you are like family to us.
Michael: Thank you Grandpa Jorge.
Jorge: Diego, some words on your part please.
Diego: Um... ok.  It is a shame Micheal's mother died, she was definantly MILF material.  I would of been all over it if she ever gave me the honor.
Michael: DUDE! That was my mom!
Jorge: And now just like your mother wished... we will go on a training expedition.
Michael: I don't wanna, why do we really have to do this?



Jorge: CAUSE I SAID SO HUEVON!

Meanwhile, in another land far far away....



Midget Skeleton: My lord, the old man, his grandson, and the boy are leaving the Dojo.
Michael's Father: Excellent... everything is coming into place now...
Skeleton: Shall I get the other midgets?
Michael's Father: Nonsense... This looks like a Job for Bastard.



Voice: BASTARD! BASTARD!
Mage: Ohhhhh, nurse's outfit, that's how daddy likes it.
Voice: BASTARD! PUT DOWN THAT PORNO MAG!



Mage: Hey! I told you!  If you are to call me by name I must be known as Da Ultimage Mage Bastard!
Voice: Spare me the drivel Bastard.  The Reyes family are on the move, get the boy at all cost and bring him to me.
DUMB: As you wish my lord.
Voice: And Bastard?
DUMB: Yes my lord?
Voice: Don't fail me... unless you want the same fate as the rest of the midgets.



Jorge: After we cross Memory Beach and the dojo is no longer visible we will camp for the night... who's there?!
DUMB: I see your vision hasn't failed you yet old man. I am DA ULTIMATE MAGE BASTARD!
Diego: *laughs* What a stupid name for a dumb bastard!
DUMB: Hand over your ward old man, and maybe then I won't let Mongo and Gino kill you and your brat.
Diego: BRAT?! >=| I'll brat you like the stupid moron that you are!
Jorge: Calm down boy, listen to me.  Diego take the man with mace, Michael attack the mage and back off.
Michael: Oh come on you guys, can't we just be friends and eat pork buns?
Everyone Else: NO!



Diego: SUPAHHHH KICKU!
Jorge: DEVIL ELBOW!
Mick: Sucker Punch! OW you flaming idiot!



Diego: FIRE CRESCENT!
Mongo and Gino: x_x!
DUMB: You fools! You leave me no choice but to cast Magic Missile!
Diego: Magic Missile?! You NERD!
Michael: I attempt to interrupt by making a throw up face!
Jorge: Madre del Dios! Michael you idiot! That's not going to work!



DUMB: DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE!
Michael: OW! You almost hit me in the sack.
Diego: >=| You almost scarred my dead sexy face!
Jorge:  You've done enough fighting Michael, run away for now and we'll find you later!



DUMB: You leave me no choice, since you stalled to let the boy leave I must kill you both.
Jorge: Stand your ground boy. Don't let him see the fear in your eyes.



Dumb: SNOW STAAAAAAAAAARM!
Diego: It burns! It burns!
Jorge: Concentrate huevon! You're losing the fight!



Jorge: Ok so you may be strong enough to get rid of a couple of kids, but you have no chance in hell beating me.
DUMB: OH PLEASE! You think that's all I have! I've been saving this bastardly move JUST FOR YOU!
Jorge: You don't have the cojones!



DUMB: BIGGEST BOOM!
Jorge: GAAAAAH! >_<!!!!!



Diego: Grandfather... I'm sorry I wasn't able to withstand the storm.
Jorge: It's ok boy, you're still in training.
Diego: Come on Grandpa, we have to go find Michael.
Jorge: Diego, my time is ending... listen to my final words, and fulfill my final wish.  Mick is more then just a boy, he must not be  sent back to his father.  Find the boy, help him fulfill both his and your birthright, if you need help find his uncle past the East Woods near elf territoy.  And then kill that Mage and avenge my death.



Jorge: Vaya Con Dios...
Diego: Grandfather, Grandfather? GRANDFATHER!!!!! *cries*



Michael: Zzzzzzzzz. No! Please! Don't hurt me you stupid bastard!