Do I Ramble? Or Do I Speak of the Truth?
Do I Speak My Mind? Or Do I Speak My Thoughts?



From darkness to darkness I fall... dark birds swoop in the air as I struggle to float... the quagmire sucking my mind and my thoughts into the abyss below me... and my desperate battle ends in vain... deeper I go and I continue to fight, even as I fall... and fall... and my fight starts over as I fall even more...
Drowning in the darkness, the light above, bobbing up and down I prove no match for the darkness, like mud and water I keep falling, falling, falling, losing my breath as the darkness overcomes me, the light vanishes from my sight as I drown in the darkness...
No matter how hard I try to change, no matter how much I hate it, I can't seem to change the fact that I'm an anti-social. Every time I see a group of people I desperately want to be able to call people "my friends" or "I'm one of them"... but I can't. I hate crowds. Why? Because I hate the noise, the overwhelming sense of heat, sound, and the thoughts that swirl everywhere. Even so my desires are to be with the crowd, "fitting in" with those whom I talk to, to be able to call myself "part of them" or "one of them". Why is it that I shy away from talking. Why is it that I shy away from making friends. Friends whom I so dearly want, the people I so dearly want to talk to and know better.